A PARABLE for Jehovah's Witnesses

by Terry 9 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

• 

  Terry

  *Based on the Fallacy of the Excluded Middle

  A man buys a parrot from a pet store but returns it the next day.

  He demands to see the owner as he places the brass cage on the counter with a loud thump.

  "I wanted the best, most perfect parrot money can buy. I can afford it! I'm a billionaire, you idiot! This parrot doesn't even talk!"

  _________________

  The pet store owner presents a 2nd parrot and off the man goes only to return the next day.

  ________________________________

  He screams for the owner as he places the silver cage down on the counter with a loud thump.

  "Are you deaf? I specifically told you I wanted a PERFECT parrot; the best money could buy. This is the 2nd time I've

  had to bring one of these birds back. I'm leaving this with you. Call me when you've located a PERFECT bird."

  _________________________

  The rich man storms out of the pet shop.

  A month later, the wealthy man returns and confronts the proprietor.

  "I received a telephone message indicating you have located a PERFECT parrot. If this is so, hand it over and I'll

  pay whatever the cost."

  _______________________

  The pet store owner hands over yet another bird, this time in a gold and platinum cage.

  Early the next morning the rich man dashes back into the pet store and flings the bird in the cage directly at the owner in a rage.

  "YOU MORON, THIS BIRD DOESN'T TALK!"

  __________________________

  The store owner excuses himself. He goes in the back of the store and brings out a parrot.

  The bird immediately speaks."Polly want a cracker. Sweety bird. Sweety bird. I Love you. I love you."

  The billionaire finally relaxes and smiles.

  _________________________

  "Why the hell did you put me through this if you already had a bird who could speak?"

  The pet store owner shrugged his shoulders and explained.

  "All this time I thought you wanted a perfect bird, so I gave you birds that could think. But, all you

  really wanted was a bird that could talk."

  ______________________________________

  What is the meaning of this parable?
• 

  NVR2L8

  In the ministry a couple challenged me to answer their questions by only using the Bible. I quickly realized they knew their Bible well while all I could do was to parrot what I learned from the WT. I couldn't reason on any of the scriptures they were showing me. I told them I would do research and return with the answers. I did some research but in the end I was still using the WT publications that provided prefabricated replies...Knowing that this wouldn't work, I never returned to that door because I was just a talking parrot.
• 

  Terry

  Two Jehovah's Witnesses are sitting at a table having coffee after a day out in the door to door ministry.

  A third person walks up, a neighbor who recognizes them.

  "Did you read in the newspaper about a clergyman arrested and charged with child molestation?"

  The first JW at the table smiles. "Jehovah's Witnesses would never have that problem; they are true Christians."

  Next week, same place.

  The neighbor appears holding a newspaper.

  "There is a story in this morning's news about a Jehovah's Witness Elder charged with child molestation. How about that?"

  The two JW's look at each other and shrug.

  "He wasn't a true Jehovah's Witness. No true Jehovah's Witness would ever do such a thing."
• 

  Terry

  A young man in Jamaica listens to his brother describing the Bible study he is having with one of Jehovah's Witnesses.

  "That sounds strange to me. I'm going to investigate this religion." Off the young man goes and does a month of Internet

  research. He returns to his brother and tells him, "Please let me speak with your JW teacher. I have questions for him."

  The meeting is arranged.

  The Elder quickly sizes up the opposer by the definite questions he is asking!

  The young man asks, "When did your religion begin teaching 1914 was the date of Christ's return?"

  The Elder pauses and narrows his eyes.

  "The understanding of 1914 got clearer over the years, but it was taught as a marked year in the late 1800's."

  The young man turns to his brother and shakes his head. "He is deflecting, my Brother, watch this."

  "Answer me this, Elder, "When did Jehovah's Witnesses STOP teaching Christ returned in 1874?"

  The Elder twitches and squirms.

  "I believe it was around 1906 or so."

  The young man pulls out of a briefcase several WT publications and lays them on the table.

  "That is a LIE. I will prove it by showing you there was no teaching of 1914 as Christ's return until 1933!"

  The Elder stands up, rather red in the face.

  "Don't let him confuse you, son--how do we know those aren't FAKES by apostates to snare the sheep away from Jehovah's Truth?"
• 

  Jon Preston

  Marked
• 

  Vidiot

  "Don't let him confuse you, son--how do we know those aren't FAKES by apostates to snare the sheep away from Jehovah's Truth?"

  To which I would reply, "Are they, in fact, fakes?"

  If he's willing to risk being caught lying and says, "Yes", it makes the job that much easier, IMO.
• 

  Terry

  I asked my devout, ex-best friend JW in around 1995 if he were willing to write down on a sheet of paper

  the most OUTSIDE DATE he considered possible for Armageddon. I asked him if he would write it down

  and sign it. Underneath I would ask him to print the words, "IF ARMAGEDDON HASN'T COME BY THIS DATE

  I WILL CONSIDER THIS RELIGION AS HAVING FALSE PROPHECY AS A FOUNDATION."

  Need I tell you he refused to be trapped into such proof-positive he was an idiot?

  It is 19, almost 20 years later!

  If I ever see him again, I'll remind him of that :)
• 

  LogCon

  m
• 

  Vidiot

  Terry - "I asked my devout, ex-best friend JW in around 1995 if he were willing to write down on a sheet of paper the most OUTSIDE DATE he considered possible for Armageddon. I asked him if he would write it down and sign it. Underneath I would ask him to print the words, 'IF ARMAGEDDON HASN'T COME BY THIS DATE I WILL CONSIDER THIS RELIGION AS HAVING FALSE PROPHECY AS A FOUNDATION.'"

  Reminds me of an idea I had back before I started fading but after I'd come to suspect the apocalypse wasn't coming any time soon.

  The JW woman who was babysitting my kids was very adamant (and regularly vocal) that the Big A was immanent, and I finally got to the point where I wanted to say, "Okay, if you're so sure that Armageddon could really start at any time, put your money where your mouth is. For every day it doesn't come, waive your babysitting fee for that day."

  Unfortunately, I was too tactful for that (at the time).

  I really wish I'd said it, though, just to see the look on her face.
• 

  Phizzy

  A few years back I did challenge an Elder, who told me it "could only be a few years at most", I said "O.K, well lets say if it is not here in 20 years you leave me your whole Estate for which I pay £1.00 ", he refused to deal, I wonder why ?