And if so what are our options?
Were we spiritually abused? Did or do we need spiritual healing?
by Fernando 6 Replies latest watchtower beliefs
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Xanthippe
Yes we were spiritually abused. We were beaten into submission until our whole being shrunk inside us and we became a mindless machine that could only obey rules and dared not think for ourselves for fear of losing everything.
Years ago my husband and I saw a spy film where a captured spy was tortured by one day being told the rules of the prison and the next day the rules were changed without anyone telling him. He did something wrong and was punished. Following the rules to the letter the next day he found the rules had been changed again and was punished. This went on for days and no matter what he did he couldn't get it right. He was emotionally beaten to a pulp. My husband and I recognized this torture straight away. In the WTS you cannot win. You cannot get everything right and still hold onto your spirit/ authentic self.
What heals us? Music can be very healing, I found classical choral music very spiritual. I love the sound of the human voice, but not singing silly love songs.
Poetry, don't knock it until you've tried it . A poem is a way of encapsulating a few thoughts and making them full of human feeling and experience. There is a lot of deep poetry about human emotional pain and finding healing.
Walking for miles in the countryside helped me. Blue skies, open spaces, wildlife, fresh air, all very healing.
Cooking, whether cooking something new or your favourite comfort food. Looking after yourself carefully like you would a small hurt animal until you begin to mend.
Creativity is good. Art, craft and again cooking is very creative. I love the chemistry of cooking, taking a pile of basic ingredients and mixing them in a certain way, putting them in the oven and voila! Pure magic.
Just one or two good friends who you can really talk to can be very healing. Having a glass or two of wine with a friend and pouring your heart out can be very good. Listen to them too. They may not have been in a cult but you will be surprised how many people know about rifts in families and being shunned by family members who don't agree with their lifestyle. It is more common than you think.
If you don't have anyone to talk to try counselling. It helped me enormously.
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The Searcher
(Luke 6:39) “A blind man cannot guide a blind man, can he? Both will fall into a pit....."
Many of us have been in the pit and have climbed out by using our reasoning powers.
Others have been helped out, but many are still down there!
Try and throw them a little "new light" from time to time - to let them see what their situation truly is!
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Divergent
Searcher, the blind ones who are in the pit are not only content to stay in the pit, but they are also digging downwards & making the pit deeper!
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Witness 007
No I was after some "sexual healing" like the song "when I get that feelin.." but hey being brainwashed into believing the apocalipse is sooo near only left some damaged emotions. Thank you sir can I have another!
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nonjwspouse
I fully believe the JWs are spiritually abused. The subsequent trauma of all that it involves is devestating on self esteem, ambition and entire outlook on life and family.
I have been lucky too finally find a spiritual abuse therapist ( he was raised a strict independant baptist) and he was honestly the only therapist that actually "got it" when I was describing the extremeness of what was happening to my husband. Beaing able to share with him was like a breath of fresh air.
My goal is to first make my own stress levels, fretting etc reduce then to make our home life the most stable, welcoming, fun and relaxing as I possibly can. Even if my husband turns out too far indoctrinated to release the mental hold, my goal is good for all of us either way. My position on the WT is crystal clear and I do not try to discuss that anymore. It has helped bring his defenses down. My focus is on planting indirect ( but relevant) seeds. He seems to be getting them, hopefully.
The therapist I see is a calming, accepting and supportive person. I wish for anyone who has been spiritualy abused to see someone like this therapist.
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Shanagirl
Yes, I believe we were spirtiually abused. Years ago, my therapist talked about this with me. The WT was the abuser, like an authoritarian abusive parent, and we the members, were like the co-dependant family, experiencing the abuse, tiptoeing around the abuser, and acutally silent when seeing our other siblings being abused. The worst abused siblings are those who co=dependantly deny there is an abuse by the abusive parent, and acutally side with the abuser against the abused sibling who tries to speak out. This goes on in many pedophile cases when the victim speaks out and the family and WT tries to silence them, knowing full well the abuser has vicitmized. So yes, we were spritually abused by an authoritarian abusive religion and it's spritiual leaders going along and carrying out the abuse.
Shana