I brought this to the top of the board because I feel its getting lost and I want to have better access to respond. My response is at the bottom. This is a post I received on page 3 of child abuse under Dan Fitzwater exposed on Dateline.... ("Laurie, I can truly appreciate your feelings of digust for this man, and feeling as though he is not repentant. You mention that you don't believe he is repentant because he thinks he has done nothing wrong. This IS typical of a person who is a Pedophile. It IS part of the mental illness. It has nothing to do with having a sense of morality, it IS a mental sickness. I do appreciate that it is very difficult to understand when you are involved in such a terrible incident. If he has been dealing with this since he was a younger man, which is usually when Pehophilia begins, and he has NEVER received ANY professional help (therapy and medication), only the counsell of the Scriptures (which just won't do it!) then it is no wonder he actually believes he has done no wrong. Telling him it is wrong and showing him Bible passages is not enough to correct this type of mental condition. In some ways, he is also a victim or himself because he has never had the help he needs. I can imagine that the concept of him being a victim also would frustrate you, and I am not saying it to upset you. I do not know either you or the Brother involved. I am simply stating fact. And I want you to know that I am very genuine in my concern about this issue. Yes, a crime has been committed, and it needs to be dealt with Judicially and Legally. Yes, justice should prevail! Not just for the victims of the crimes, but for the offenders. They should be entitled to receive PROPER and APPROPRIATE counselling and therapy, so they can reside in society without being a pariah. Truly, I feel great compassion towards all victims of sex crimes, and if I or a member of my own family was a victim, I may react with the same anger. However, let us not forget that even the Justice System of this world is not what it should or could be, and there is often a lack of justice. And I know also, that even in the congregation, sometimes there is injustice rendered. That is why we have to keep close in mind that ONLY JEHOVAH can render justice deserved. Being a God of Love and Mercy, Jehovah will provide comfort to victims who lean on Him for support, in addition to getting the professional help they need to recover fully. And likewise, Jehovah will not abandon a person with a mental illness. Please don't make yourself so lofty as to become judgemental. It is one thing to have an opinion, and another thing to be judgemental. There is a fine line. I hope you understand what I am trying to say here. I would just hate to see you lose faith in our Loving, Merciful and Just, Father, Jehovah God! In faith testing times like this, we all need to pray for strength to demonstrate selfless love, as Christ Jesus did. Pray for the victims AND the perpetrators, that each will find the strength needed to align themselves once again with Jehovah's Will. Don't allow room for Satan to overcome! He is the god of this system of things, but good IS stronger than evil! Please know that I care very much. May our wonderful God, Jehovah, strengthen and console His sheeplike ones!")
My Response:
I feel as though I am being accused of being lofty and judgemental because I feel that Dan Fitzwater is unrepentant. He had a parole hearing in Nov. He was denied parole because he still denies molesting children. This man has hurt as many as 17 girls. probably more. I was DFed from my congergation for going to the elders and trying to get them to take action against this sick man. I lost my mother over it. I lost 3 of my brother and 3 sister-in-laws as well as 7 nieces and nephews, 2 of whom I was VERY close to.I lost every friend I had made as a lifelong JW living in the town I was born and raised in.( with the exception of one VERY GOOD friend that never was baptized) So YES I do get mad. This man layed naked on at least one of his victims while he abused her. I don't disagree that he is sick. I do disagree that ANY AMOUNT of therapy will help him. Child abusers ALMOST ALWAYS ABUSE AGAIN! Espeacially ones that have a preditory history. So if you want to think that I am judgemental, that is fine. Maybe I have some right to be in this case. I don't feel sorry for "poor Dan Fitzwater" Even if he was abused as a child. I know a LOT of people who were that never became abusers. He was an adult that should have taken resposibilty for himself. If he had unnatural urges he should have sought help BEFORE he acted them out on a poor defenseless child. Now that he has been caught, he should take responsibilty, but he does not! And I don't believe that he REALLY thinks he did nothing wrong. He failed 2 lie detector tests! He just acts as if he did nothing wrong. You can tell me all about how you worked with victims or abusers or whatever. I have lived through it. I have lived with abusers and around them. I have lived with victims and around them. I suffered through the first years of marrage (and so did my husband) because of the connection my mind made between loving sexual relationships and abuse. Thankfully, my husband is a man of much patients. He let me take it as slowly as I needed to. He helped me to heal. But that does not mean that it does not hurt when I think of what I went through and it does not mean that it does not hurt when I think of the other victims and it does not mean that It doesn't hurt to think that Dan Fitzwater will be out in just 2 short years and still will be a member of JW in good standing with people that still trust him because the elders did not find him guilty.
Ok,I propbably sound like I am ranting now so I will leave it at this....
Please do not accuse me of being lofty and judgemental until you have walked in my shoes.....
Laurie (Gendreau) Fitzwater
Formerly of Bradenton, FL- Yerington, NV- Ft Worth, Tx - Hariman, TN
And now living in Rifle, CO
