Theocratic sex please.

by philo 9 Replies latest social relationships

  • philo
    philo

    Hi everybody

    This forum is great for my needs because I specifically need more sex.

    I realise this might seem a little forward. But other forums have strict rules about what is allowed and what is not allowed. So here in a 'sex' forum surely anything goes! This is just perfect for me.

    Well, perhaps not quite everything is allowable. After all, I have come here for Theocratic sex not the 'worldly' variety. So I must warn all you hormone-charged sisters that I am no push over. You cannot tempt me away into any perverse or decadent Internet practises. And brothers, don't think that I can not intuitively tell your genders from the way you write, and from your screen names. You see, I've had my fingers burned online before. The experience opened my mind, so I am ready to fend off any brothers with alternative bible texts seeking to challenge my sexuality. Dirty beggers!

    The sort of sex I want is in the little green 'family life book'. A whole section between pages 32 and 33 is devoted to the motivations, pleasures and techniques sex. My copy is so worn out, its virtually unreadable. There are inspiring green pictures which accompany the text, providing all a couple might need for conjugal bliss. I am straightforward and honest about what I want: loving, caring, Christian, local, congregational, present-understanding, SEX. But happiness in this world is transient, so I take as my model the Apostle Paul who considered sex a sometimes necessary evil, to be 'got over with' as soon as possible.

    Answers please, as soon as possible.

    philo

  • waiting
    waiting

    hey philo,

    I was so good in bed last night that I never once had to turn on the lights so I could consult my sex manual. Woody Allen

    Thanks for the sex chuckle.

    waiting

  • thinkers wife
    thinkers wife

    Philo,
    Thanks for the memories. My book used to worn out too!!! Before I gave it to Good Will.
    Now Thinker and I are writing a new book!!
    TW

  • expatbrit
    expatbrit

    Another one from Woody Allen:

    "Is sex dirty? Only if it's done right."

    Expatbrit.

  • somebody
    somebody

    hi philo ,

    If you find a woman and she's wearing her theocratic boots ( btw...suede or leather thigh high boots don't fall into the theocratic boots catagory, just so ya know. :-)

    Here are some pointers for you to help get you some theocratic sex. caps are mine and I've inserted some of my thoughts in ( ). I couldn't resist. :-)

    hint #1

    Make sure you don't compliment her. Don't tell her her hair looks good or what she's wearing looks nice on her. (cept the theocratic boots, of course) We all know what's behind that satanic practice! She knows that flattery is very unloving and is motivated by selfishness. And she would think of such untheocratic conduct as loose, which she knows leads to gross pornea.

    2/1/98 WT
    "SOMEONE says to you, "Your new hairstyle looks great!" Is it praise or flattery? "That suit is just perfect for you!" Praise or flattery? "This is the most delicious meal I have ever tasted!" Is it praise or flattery? When we receive such compliments, we may wonder whether they are really sincere and truthful or whether they are simply meant to please us without necessarily being believed by the speaker."

    "We may also receive praise from people who sincerely believe what they are saying and who have no ulterior motive in praising us. The inspired Scriptures say at Proverbs 27:2: "May a stranger, and not your own mouth, praise you." This indicates that accepting praise from humans is proper.

    Not so with giving or receiving flattery. Why is flattering speech so displeasing to Jehovah? For one thing, it is insincere, and Jehovah condemns insincerity. (Compare Proverbs 23:6, 7.) Further, it is not honest. Describing people who warrant God's disapproval, the psalmist says: "All they do is lie to one another, flattering lips, talk from a double heart. May Yahweh slice off every flattering lip."-Psalm 12:2, 3, JB.

    "Above all, flattery is unloving. It is motivated by selfishness. After speaking of the flatterers, the psalmist David quotes them as saying: "With our tongue we shall prevail. Our lips are with us. Who will be a master to us?" Jehovah describes such selfish ones as 'despoilers of the afflicted ones.' Their flattering tongues have been used, not to build up others, but to despoil them and afflict them"

    "Flattery gratifies the self-love or vanity of the one flattered. It tends to give a person an inflated view of his own worth, making him feel superior to others in some way."

    Also don't compliment her! She might question your motives, or worse yet, you might make her feel special.
    ----------------
    hint #2

    If she's wearing a hat,unless you notice that her hat is not pinned to her head, don't tip your hat to her. Don't rise for her at any time either. ( no pun intended)

    4/15/52 WT.
    "Man and woman were not created equal in power and glory; the man came first and was given special prerogatives. As Jehovah is the head over his wifely organization, and as Christ is the head over his espoused church, so the man is the head over the woman. It is the woman that is commanded to show respect and recognition of the man's position of headship, and women who rebel at it are not so much rebelling against men as they are against God.-Gen. 3:16; 1 Cor. 11:2-10; Eph. 5:33."

    "When a customary show of respect is performed between men as well as between man and woman, when it does not set the woman apart for special honor because of her sex, then it does not seem Scripturally objectionable. Hat removal would be too inconvenient for the woman? Then why is it the man that is supposed to rise when a woman enters a room or comes to or leaves the table, and never the woman? Is it too inconvenient again? Is she pinned to the chair, as the hat is pinned to her head? What custom does exist whereby women show respect to men? ( cooking for men, washing their clothes, ( including their dirty underwear ) running their errands, working to help with household bills, pampering them when they are sick, and raising their children don't count as respect) The absence of any is not just by chance, but is by satanic design to UNTHEOCRATICALLY (caps mine) elevate the woman above the man. In many ways Satan has taken the woman from the position assigned her by God, taken her from the home and its duties and put her into politics and commerce and religious leadership, and thereby caused much of the modern breakdown on the family front.-Heb. 13:4; Rev. 2:20."

    "Specifically, why would a woman want this special show of respect from a man? One woman said in response to this question: "You don't know how important it makes a woman feel to have a man tip his hat to her." That is sufficient reason for Christians to refrain from the custom. It is not in the interests of the individual to make him feel important, whether the individual is male or female."
    ------------------
    So it all boils down to this. DO NOT SAY OR DO ANYTHING THAT MIGHT MAKE HER FEEL SPECIAL TO YOU IN THE LEAST !!

    have fun on your search for theocratic sex !

    peace,
    somebody
    PS....and remember.. while your having theocratic sex, if she shouts out, " Oh my God! ",
    make sure you tell her to quit flattering you and ask her what her motives were for saying such a thing.

    ~~~~I believe in making the world safe for our children, but not our children's children, because I don't think children should be having sex.~~~~

  • philo
    philo

    Somebody

    You have got some nerve posting that sort of filth -- and to me of all people! Why the very THOUGHT of showing flattery or attentions of any sort to my intended had never entered into my heart. I had only envisioned a pure union of sexual congress with no gratuities except opening and closing prayer.

    Now get behind me!

    But seriously, that was hilarious! And the WT quotes are dynamite. In my 18th Century studies I never read anything as denegrating to women as that. Thanks Somebody.

    Philo (LOL, and walking slightly awkwardly)

  • somebody
    somebody

    philo, :-)

    :You have got some nerve posting that sort of filth

    I'm sorry. I had the Godly view that it was theocratic filth. That makes it better than worldly filth, doesn't it? Can you find it in your honest heart to forgive me?

    :and to me of all people!

    I AM the weaker vessel afterall. That's my excuse and I'm stickin to it.

    :Why the very THOUGHT of showing flattery or attentions of any sort to my intended had never entered into my heart. I had only envisioned a pure union of sexual congress with no gratuities except opening and closing prayer.

    "a pure union of sexual congress"? damn...the writers for the society are gonna steal that one from you! It's catchy, and a keeper. I like it !

    :Now get behind me!

    With all due respect, i say..." woo hoo! yes, sir! " I might like the view. :-)

    :But seriously, that was hilarious! And the WT quotes are dynamite.

    watch it...you might well be teetering on committing boarderline gross flattery.

    : In my 18th Century studies I never read anything as denegrating to women as that. Thanks Somebody.

    You're welcome kindly. You must have read some interesting stuff when you were studying about the 18th century. Must make for some wonderful readings. Can you recommend the one book that you enjoyed the most? I don't want to read books on the 18th century for months. Just one might be interesting to read though.

    :Philo (LOL, and walking slightly awkwardly)

    lol. :-)

    piece......err...umm...I mean.... peace,
    somebody

  • philo
    philo

    Hi Somebody

    ::studying about the 18th century. Must make for some wonderful readings. Can you recommend the one book that you enjoyed the most?

    Yes, it was 'wonderful' immersing myself in that world for a while. In my course I read few whole books, though. Instead I was dipping into a variety of texts, letters, paintings, architectural plans - you get the picture. But one book I studied and read quite thoroughly was Laclos' novel: Les Liasons Dangereuses. Have you read it? If not, and you decide to read it, you may agree that it was appropriate to our chat above. When I finished reading it (first time round) I found I had to think about whether I was a morally better or worse person than before I started. I am still undecided on that one.

    The screen versions sketch parts of the story quite well, but only parts. They all miss the sense of privacy and confidence, which comes from a novel of personal letters. And I feel they each drive their particular moral conclusion, whereas there is nothing so easy and comfortable in the book. There was a recent film with two pink teens in the leading roles (one of which was Buffy). No surprise then, that they conveyed none of the charm, urbanity, wit, pathos, and I could go on and on listing what they missed.

    Having said all that heavy stuff: did I enjoy it? Yes, certainly. The 'conversations' are light and funny. There is irony in all places, intrigue, and elegant titillation (that's a minus point btw). Very like your post. ;) Actually, I think 'apostate' Internet posters will instantly identify with many of the themes in Laclos.

    If you have already read it, I will stick this recommendation in the literature forum, and think of another book for you. But that was the best book.

    philo

  • somebody
    somebody

    thanks, philo. I'll be looking for the book.

    peace,
    somebody

  • zev
    zev
    One woman said in response to this question: "You don't know how important it makes a woman feel to have a man tip his hat to her." That is sufficient reason for Christians to refrain from the custom.

    I think I'll go pray to the porcelin gods now.

    __

    zev

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