I DA'd myself in 1993; I had left in June and by October, after several JC meetings, I was told to either write a letter or else I'd be DF'd within the week. Taking the view of having control over my own destiny, I wrote a letter. My parents then disowned me, because I had stated that I did not want to be associated with JWs. Since they are JWs they think this includes them.
Do you think they would view this differently if I had been df'd? Would they make any allowance for me? Keep in mind that they are really holy rollers; my father is the PO in their congregation.
Can't see that they would treat you any differently than they are now, if as you say, they are in the thick of it. Regarding df and da, it's a no-win situation.
Have you told them exactly what happened? Will they speak to you?
I agree, Df'd or Da'd they'd disown you either way.
The only difference is if you are Df'd maybe they would try to get you to repent, but I think they might try that even if you were Da'd.
I am sorry to hear about it either way. It makes me sad all over again when hear of another family who thinks "Jehovah" is more important than family, even tho they tout that "Jehovah lovingly gave us the family insitiution"
I don't really know how your family life was before you DA'd yourself so I can't tell you how differently your parents would've reacted had you been DF'd, I can only tell you my personal experience.
I was DF'd last summer. My parents almost never talk to me now. I've written them long letters telling them how much I love them and that I want to be in their lives regardless of our different religious views. I explained scriptually why I believed that the WBTS was wrong, but that I respected that they still believed. I tried to emphasize my love over and over again. All of this was to no avail. My mom calls once a month but it's never to say she misses me or anything loving, it's usually just to tell me something business related. I was extremely close to my mother and younger brother before this happened, and now I have almost no relationship with them.
I'm not trying to say that your family would've acted like mine, but as far as shunning goes, I think it's pretty equal when it comes to DA'd people and DF'd people.
I would tend to agree that they would not be inclined to view things differently.
It also seems like your parents are taking the "hard line" on this, since even according to articles in the WT and their web site, family ties are not cut off. Looks like another case of not practicing what they preach.
