I'm getting ready to vent, so please bear with me. I am hoping y'all can give me some solid advice or if nothing else, tell me you love me and wish me the best.
I hate to do this during such a tough economic slow down, but beginning today, I'm looking for a new job. I've about had it where I'm at. Great pay, great benefits, great company, but the local politics are more than I can handle. My partner and my manager are two of the most obnoxious, unethical, selfish, backstabbers I've ever run into. I don't like them, nor do I trust them. They both have terrible reputations in my company, even though they both think they have it made. (Little do they know our senior management is tailing every move they make and every word they say. I know because our VP has spoken to me personally about it.)
I've talked to my manager's manager, that manager's manager, our VP of Operations and HR. Everyone's telling me to "sit tight" because they know I'm a good employee and to just ride out the issues with the local team. I've been at this company for 17 months and the issues have been here since day one. I finally brought the issues to the attention of upper management last July. They actually were already aware of the issues, but nobody had really complained about them, so nothing was done. It's going on almost a year since I brought the issues to the attention of upper management and still nothing has changed. It's too the point that I dread coming into work - I don't even like my responsibilities anymore. (All of which I'm pretty good at - I've just lost the passion with the bull**** going on.) I lay in bed WAY past time to get up, wondering what believable excuse can I come up with to NOT go in. I come up with nothing AND feel guilty about feeling so de-motivated, that I go ahead and get up anyway.
I work for a unionized company, which is pretty cool. It protects the rights of employees. I do feel very secure of being treated fairly by the company in general - good for me. The only thing is that the same union that protects employees, also protects the BAD employees - good for people like my unethical partner and manager. I know this is the reason upper management is taking so long resolving the situation. They need documentation, documention, documentation because we work for a union. I've been told by HR AND upper management, they are documenting both my partner and manager so "this will be a slow recovery". I respect and understand the upper management's viewpoint and diligence, but today I've come close to my breaking point. No specific situation triggered it, but I just had an epiphany: This life is too short to stay at a job that isn't personally fulfilling to me.
I can't transfer into another position without moving to another city. (Not an option at this point in my life!) I have sales experience, corporate training experience, and administrative experience. I'm great at creating rapport and relationships, public speaking, and have strong organizational and sales skills. If anyone knows of a good open position in the Dallas/Plano/Richardson area, please let me know. I'm officially out on the prowl. I'm looking at it as: it's my company's loss, not mine.
So where do I go? I have no idea where to begin, outside of Monster and Flipdog and all the other job search engines. Today I've discovered there are tons of jobs out there like mine. Many of them pay better than what I'm getting paid for. Many of them have better benefits. Many of them are with good, reputable companies. But here is my dilemma: I want to do something that moves me. I want to do something that I'm passionate about. I want to work for a company and managers that inspires me. Doing what I'm doing doesn't fit any of those descriptions.
I'm seriously thinking about going back to school. To do what? Well, here are a few thoughts:
Children: I've always wanted to be a teacher. I'm great with kids. They inspire me. They keep me grounded. They teach me many Life lessons without realizing it. Although I don't have the proper education to be a teacher, I have a lot of Life experience that will benefit children. Perhaps I can go back and get my degree? I'll have to go back to waiting tables and living a life of ramen noodles in order to do that. Can I start off a new marriage with such a big life change? That's scary! Knowing that my career decision will now affect Neil - not just myself.
Art: Specifically, photography. I appreciate wonderful art! I appreciate capturing those "moments" we see everyday and making them stand still. I love looking at a beautiful portrait and feeling that feeling of completeness; of understanding what the artist saw and feeling what that artist felt when they clicked that shutter. I have no idea how to use a camera (unless it's a dummy automatic thingy) so where does that leave me?
I'm kind of "thinking out loud" here, so I appreciate your patience. If anyone has some inspiring advice or wisdom, PLEASE share! It's taking everything I've got to not walk out of this place without giving notice. Thanks all!