What damage does being a witness do to our brains?

by sleepy 5 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  invisible

  Hello Sleepy

  Celtic Mark here deep down sw of westcountry.

  I'm sure that the damage inflicted on those ones brought up in the trooth is perhaps greater than those who did not experience being brought up in it.

  We were not allowed to question anything. It was always expected of us to just follow orders from either parents or members of the congregation. Adult brothers and sisters, unaware of their own shortcomings would often blame these kids as an excuse against their own inadequate system, in other words, it must have made them feel more spiritual by off loading their own blame onto the next available target, an avenue by which they might justify their own position.

  I call this spiritual raping. Unable to make any imformed choices for ourselves, what should have been a perfected upbringing, turned into a hellish day and living nightmare. For those not brought up in the trooth, I think many of you cannot understand or have true empathy for the feelings that we went through.

  To teach a young child all the crafty ways of satan with such frightening pictures in all the books, telling us that if we did not do as we were told, our lives would be lost at Armegeddon, I believe belongs to the realms of the criminally insane. Is it normal I ask them now, for a 14 year old to repeatedly smash his head into brick walls in a fruitless attempt to commit suicide, to block out the internal anguish within?

  Isn't a God supposed to be about love and the next quality - joy? What happened to these positive attributes in the congregation? Why the hell does a child of 4 or 5 need to know about sacrificial sacrifice and children being passed through the fire? Why did I know what beastiality was at that age? Would this model in todays modern world, anywhere outside of the Witnesses be considered a fine outstanding model?

  The facts upon this site speak for themselves.

  Reprogramming? Yes, it is possible. But to face your demons, takes enormous courage and the experience of a qualified therapist. I went the whole hog, 5 psychologists in total for a period in excess of 12 months when it all came pouring out. Pleased to say, that as of earlier this year, from the medical profession, I was given the all clear, no signs of any imbalance and/or depression remaining. Hard work, ruthless honesty, but ruddy well worth it.

  Peace to everyone attempting this. I can offer you whatever support you feel is needed.

  Love

  'Celtic' Mark

  Edited for 2 spelling errors

  Edited by - invisible on 12 June 2002 15:3:29
• 

  SYN

  Well, there wouldn't be any physical damage, but being a Dub severely stunted the growth of many mental facilities which I cherish and rigorously try to develop today, such as logical thought. Still working on that one
• 

  pandora

  I don't know if I would consider it brain damage but I have noticed something that is a pain to deal with. I was raised in the truth, but got out about 15 years ago. Anyway, as we all know, you sit through WAY tooo many meetings of one sort or another. God knows, I was young and didn't do alot of listening. I think my brain developed a defense mechanism of some sort. The moment I step into a meeting , you know, business type, I get so tired I can't keep my eyes open. It doesn't matter if I am interested in the subject matter. If I am not the one talking, I am asleep through most of it. I think, somehow I just go back there, to those days when I didn't care to hear what they were saying from the podium. I don't know, but it makes managment positions a pretty big no no.

  Looks pretty bad if the boss is sleeping in the meeting.

  haha

  -P(J)
• 

  singsongboi

  Interesting thread...!!

  i was 17 when i walked into dub city (voluntararily) looking for an escape from my personal demons -- and i guess i found a place where i could exorcise them and keep them at bay.. for they stayed away for decades----but cheeeeee, when they came back -- they were a tidal wave. but this post is about others.

  i'm running thru a list of all the families i knew and were close to....

  i doan think that my own kids were unbalanced, well!! they were badly shocked about me (of course -- dubville is not too kind to faggots!!!)..

  youngest has left dub city -- but that is more my ex-wives fault... she started yelling at him (he was about 14) in the middle of meeting that she could smell smoke on him and that he was demonised -- bet that gave the gossip circuit something to talk about for a long time...when he got home his clothes had been thrown out onto the front lawn, so he went and lived with another family (school friend) for several months..

  can you really imagine this???? and this was all kept secret from me. so yeah!! he has some problems, but based much more on family events (me) than dub city philosophy.

  My two daughters are older than him and seem reasonable human beings, with a life outside the congregation.

  aah! well, probably my fault too....
• 

  obiwan

  You it is very hard to explain,I was raised in the truth and I do know that when I make new friends they have to fit a mold that closely resembles a jw image.By that I mean lifestyle and habits,for a long time I had the feeling of impending doom because I was DF'D.I also have found it hard to loosen up it's hard to relax around worldly people.Having an open mind also plays a part when there are certain subjects.I however am glad that other people not raised this way don't know what it's like,I would not wish this on my worst enemy.
• 

  garybuss

  
  Sleepy wrote: <Will this ever go away?> For me it has not. I have challenged my core beliefs and checked my behaviors but my essential personality is a 1950's era Jehovah's Witness.
  
  This has not been a good thing for me but it is a reality. I want to plan for the future but my mind is trained to think in Apocalyptic patterns. I like people but I was trained to either hate them or distrust them without any rational reason.
  
  I wrote an article on this a while back titled Establishing and maintaining the Pseudopersonality
  posted on line at http://www.freeminds.org/buss/pseudopersonality.htm
  
  Here is a short quote from my article:
  
  A popular book, Cults in our Midst, By Margaret Thaler Singer (with Janja Lalich), Chapter 12, p. 302: Recovery; Coming out of the Pseudopersonality, contains these two sentences:
  
  ". . . I will explore . . . a kind of peeling off of the outer layer of identity that was taken on while in the cult. The process is a matter of recovering one's self and one's value system, and of keeping whatever good was learned during cult days while discarding all the not-so-good."
  
  While this onion peel approach is interesting and I'm sure it applies to some individuals, maybe many individuals, it avoids the masses who were indoctrinated into these groups as children or as adolescents who had no other personality, no other training, and no other world views. The constant repetition of the group's world view became the core beliefs of the individual. Not an "outer layer". Not a pseudo-personality. The groups beliefs and practices made up the core of the predominant operating force of the young member. The human body became the person and beliefs plus experiences became the personality.End quote.
  
  Sleepy wrote: <I often find that I have to tell my mind to think differently than what it automatically wants to.>
  
  This is normal for COWs (Children Of Witnesses). For me it has been a life long journey. The hardest part for me was the awareness that I had a flawed pattern of thought processing. That was a breakthrough.
  
  
  Sleepy wrote: <So are those who are brought up as witnesses in a strong witness household , but who lack intellegence trapped in the way they have been taught to think from birth unable to modify their thinking and realise the "truth" aint so true?>
  
  In my opinion, yes. I look at my father. Raised by Witness/IBSA parents, baptized into the group in 1935 at age 15, he has refused to look at disconfirming experiences and information all his life. He has had to discount an enormous amount of material and experiences. The religion he loves today is nothing at all the same as it was in 1935 when he was baptized. He has accepted the writings of the Society 100% all this time. He thinks there is a god and he directs this book publishing business and he no doubt still thinks Armageddon will come and validate him before he dies. He still continues active in the group into his 80's having dispensed with me long ago.
  
  It's a done deal. He will stay till he dies and our last conversation will remain forever unfinished. And all those like him will stay because they can not leave. They lack the ability and the resources.
  
  He thinks there is something wrong with me because I question things and I took off the blinders and read and learned. They don't realize they are limited and often we don't realize they are limited. We leave. That puts us on a collision course with them. Eventually we collide and become enemies to various degrees.
  
  Often they are needy in some way but they block pragmatic help from us out of their superstition and ignorance and fear. They won't accept love from us and they become unlovable. Needy, ignorant, unlovable and dying in a working delusion.
  
  Great thinking Sleepy. Great topic! Thanks! gb
  

  The Way I See it http://www.freeminds.org/buss/buss.htm