You know you live in.........

by closer2fine 9 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  closer2fine

  You live in California when...
  1. You make over $250,000 and you still can't afford to buy a house.
  2. The high school quarterback calls a time-out to answer his cell
  phone.
  3. The fastest part of your commute is going down your driveway.
  4. You know how to eat an artichoke.
  5. You drive your rented Mercedes to your neighborhood block party.
  6. When someone asks you how far something is, you tell them how long
  it will take to get there rather than how many miles away it is.
  
  You live in New York City when...
  1. You say "the city" and expect everyone to know you mean Manhattan.
  2. You have never been to the Statue of Liberty or the Empire State
  Building.
  3. You can get into a four-hour argument about how to get from
  Columbus Circle to Battery Park, but can't find Wisconsin on a map.
  4. You think Central Park is "nature,"
  5. You believe that being able to swear at people in their own
  language makes you multi-lingual.
  6. You've worn out a car horn.
  7. You think eye contact is an act of aggression.
  
  You live in upstate New York when...
  1. You only have four spices: salt, pepper, ketchup, and Tabasco.
  2. Halloween costumes fit over parkas.
  3. You have more than one recipe for moose.
  4. Sexy lingerie is anything flannel with less than eight buttons.
  5. The four seasons are: winter, still winter, almost winter, and
  construction.
  
  You live in the Deep South when...1. You can rent a movie and buy bait in the same store.
  2."ya'll" is singular and "all ya'll" is plural.
  3. After five years you still hear, "You ain't from 'round here, are
  Ya?"
  4. "He needed killin' " is a valid defense.
  5. Everyone has 2 first names: Billy Bob, Jimmy Bob, Mary Sue, Betty
  Jean, etc.

  You live in Colorado when...
  1. You carry your $3,000 mountain bike atop your $500 car.
  2. You tell your husband to pick up Granola on his way home and he
  stops at the day care center.
  3.A pass does not involve a football or dating.
  4. The top of your head is bald, but you still have a pony tail.
  
  You live in the Midwest when...
  1. You've never met any celebrities, but the mayor knows your name.
  2. Your idea of a traffic jam is ten cars waiting to pass a tractor.
  3. You have had to switch from "heat" to "A/C" on the same day.
  4. You end sentences with a preposition: "Where's my coat at?"
  5. When asked how your trip was to any exotic place, you say, "It was
  different!"
  
  You live in Florida when...
  1. You eat dinner at 3:15 in the afternoon.
  2. All purchases include a coupon of some kind - even houses and
  cars.
  3. Everyone can recommend an excellent dermatologist.
  4. Road construction never ends anywhere in the state.
  5. Cars in front of you are often driven by headless people.
• 

  joannadandy

  They forgot to add that in the Midwest you know how to make 12 different kinds of hotdishes, that you wave at all the farmers in their trucks, and you ask for POP instead of Soda

  Edited by - joannadandy on 15 June 2002 19:17:0
• 

  SoulJah

  All the items you listed for California ONLY apply to southern California [Santa Rosa-east to Chico & everywhere south.

  that's why I live in Northern California!

  You know you live in Northern California when: everybody and their grandma smokes weed

  & a trimming party has nothing to do with decorating a christmas tree!
• 

  Imbue

  1. You say "the city" and expect everyone to know you mean Manhattan.
  2. You have never been to the Statue of Liberty or the Empire State
  Building.
  3. You can get into a four-hour argument about how to get from
  Columbus Circle to Battery Park, but can't find Wisconsin on a map.
  4. You think Central Park is "nature,"
  5. You believe that being able to swear at people in their own
  language makes you multi-lingual.
  6. You've worn out a car horn.
  7. You think eye contact is an act of aggression.
  
  

  NO...LOL ...Almost true, I'm from NYC and I've never been to the Statue of Liberty or the Empire State Building. I do remember smoking a joint at Grants Tomb once...

  YES, I can get into a 4 hour argument about almost anything.

  NO, the 800 acres of Cental Park is not "nature" but I've lived outside 'the city' for many years.

  NO....LOL.. Swearing at people in their own language is not multi-lingual. However, those among the lower some classes might believe otherwise.

  NO, I've never worn out a car horn...I use the subway when I'm 'downtown'

  YES, eye contact is an act of aggression.
• 

  El Kabong

  You know you're from New Jersey if:
  
  1. You've been seriously injured at Action Park.
  2. You don't think of citrus when people mention "The Oranges".
  3. You know that it's called Great Adventure, not Six Flags.
  4. You've ordered a hard roll with butter for breakfast.
  5. You've known the way to Seaside Heights since you were seven.
  6. You've eaten at a diner, when you were stoned or drunk, at 3 a.m.
  7. You remember that the "Two Guys" were from Harrison.
  8. You know that the state isn't one big oil refinery.
  9. At least three people in your family still love Bruce Springsteen.
  10. You know what a "jug handle" is.
  11. You know that a WaWa is a convenience store.
  12. You know that the state isn't all farmland.
  13. You know that there are no "beaches" in New Jersey -- there's "The Shore", and you
  know that the road to the shore is "The Parkway", not the "Garden State Highway".
  14. You know that "Piney" isn't referring to a tree.
  15. Even your school cafeteria made good Italian subs. -- And you call it a "Sub" not a
  "submarine sandwich" or worse yet, a "hoagy" or a "hero".
  16. You remember the song from the Palisades Park commercials.
  17. You know how to properly negotiate a Circle.
  18. You knew that the last question had to do with driving.
  19. You know that this is the only "New..." state that doesn't require "New" to identify it
  (like, try...Mexico, ...York, ...Hampshire - doesn't work, does it?)
  20. You only go to New York City for day trips, and you only call it "The City".
  21. You know that a "White Castle" is the name of BOTH a fast food chain AND a fast
  food sandwich.
  22. You consider a corned beef sandwich with lettuce and mayo a sacrilege.
  23. In the 80's, you wore your hair REALLY high.
  24. You don't think "What exit" is very funny.
  25. You know that the first "strip shopping center" in the country is Route 22.
  26. You know that people from 609 area code are "a little different".
  27. You know that no respectable New Jerseyan goes to Princeton - that's for out-of-staters.
  28. The Jets-Giants game has started fights at your school or local bar.
  29. You live within 20 minutes of at least three different malls.
  30. You can see the Manhattan skyline from some part of your town.
  31. You refer to all highways and interstates by their numbers.
  32. Every year, you had a least one kid in your class named Tony.
  33. You know where every "clip" shown in the Soprano's opening credits is.
  34. You've gotten on the wrong highway trying to get out of the Willowbrook Mall.
  35. You've been to at least one mall in Paramus.
  36. You Know that people form North Jersey to go Seaside Heights, and people from
  South Jersey go to Wildwood. It can't be the other way around.
  37. You were not raised in New Jersey. You were raised in either North Jersey, Central
  Jersey or South Jersey.
  38. You don't consider Newark or Camden to actually be part of the state.
  39. You remember the stores Korvette's, Rickel's, Channel, Bamburger's, Bradlee's and
  Orbach's.
  40. You've eaten a Boardwalk cheesteak with vinegar fries.
  41. You start planning for Memorial Day weekend in February.

  And finally...
  
  42. You've never pumped your own gas
• 

  talley

  !! YOU BETTCHA !!
• 

  closer2fine

  El Kabong - lol!! I grew up outside of Philly (215 area code ) & knew most of those! Spent most of my summers at the Shore :)
• 

  Francois

  !!NOTE ON SOUTHERN SPEECH!!

  "ya'll" is NOT, repeat NOT, the way you spell it. The proper spelling of this word is:

  Y'all.

  Remember, the apostrophe stands for omitted letters. No personal pronoun begins with Y.A.; it's Y.O.U., thus, Y'all = You all.

  It's really funny when non-southerners attempt to essay about southern speech. They never get it right, 'cause you gotta be from down here to know.

  Francois
• 

  ashitaka

  HAHAHAAHAHAHAHA

  Dude, that IS Jersey all over.

  One more.

  You are from Jersey if you become enraged at not being able to do 90 MPH on the Turnpike, because some tourist out-of-stater insists on doing 65.

  BTW, I live in 609 area code....and I'm fine....somewhat....ok, I'll eat your children, but what the hell

  ashi
• 

  SYN

  You know you live in South Africa when:

  • Your government creates a 12-member Board of Directors to control Domain Name services for the country - when it is all done quite well by one man during his spare time at the moment!
  • You pull out a huge wad of money in front of an American and they laugh at you for doing it!
  • You have 11 official languages, but the F word is universal.
  • You understand Zulu culture and enjoy isiXhosa cuisine. (Said with a 'click' sound for the X, BTW)
  • You have had to chase lions away from your giraffe herd.
  • Every person working in Politics automatically gets a BMW, even the window cleaners!
  • When you stop at a traffic light, you check if your doors are locked.
  • You hire a jail architect to help you design your new house.
  • No road is ever under construction - it is either new or screwed.
  • You have insects that get into your house which actually LIKE insect killing spray and will jump on you and scream. And they are huge. Like, the size of your hand. They are called Parktown Prawns, and they are lethal. Even dogs are scared of these things. Plus, they emit foul-smelling gases when cornered. If you hit them with a shoe, you only make them REALLY MAD. They look like the incarnation of Satan himself.
  • Matching tracksuits with cartoons on them for men and women are considered cool.
  • You get accosted by mosquitoes the size of small aircraft at night, and beating them off only makes them more bloodthirsty.
  • Your biggest city is built on top of so many mine shafts that if there were ever a fairly big quake, it would just fall into the ground and DISAPPEAR!
  • People are confused about which flag they must salute, the old one or the new one.
  • You have TWO national anthems, one in English, and another in an African tongue.
  • You drive past churches with bullet holes in them.
  • Taxis can accomodate 30 people at a time, and they travel at just underneath the speed of sound, except when they are directly in front of you, which will be exactly the point in time they feel compelled to stop.
  • There is a huge monopoly in the telecommunications sector, and nobody does anything about it.