Hi Gang-
I was reading a post and someone said that you need to evaluate a religion based on what it would be like if everyone followed the rules of that religion perfectly. Well, over on Randy's site at www.freeminds.org, he has a link to the Armageddon Okies. The following is Leroy's Great Dream which is taken from the Armageddon Okies site. The rest are just as funny as this one. Here it is:
Leroy's Great Dream
Dear Randy,
LeRoy had a dream and he wonders what it means. He asked me to tell it to you and see if you knew. He's falling, falling, and when he wakes up he's in a seat in a Kingdom Hall somewhere, but he doesn't know where. The brothers are all wearing double breasted IBM business suits and the sisters are all wearing nylons and skirts that just touch the floor when they kneel. The babies are all awake listening to the speaker whose talk is closely following the societies outline. The boy children are all wearing small business suits and polished shoes with matching socks. Their fingernails are clean.
The girl children all are wearing white dresses and keep their eyes down. When a question is asked at the Watchtower study every single person in the Hall raises their hand, even the babies. Everyone who is called on to answer, paraphrases the answer in their own words with the idea directly from the Watchtower paragraph. During the entire meeting, which lasted three hours, no one got up to go to the restroom or get a drink. After the meeting everyone there lined up at the literature counter and picked up their magazine orders of thirty-six copies of each issue and then lined up at the contribution boxes to contribute two dollars per copy as an unrelated donation to the preaching work. After the donations were made everybody was smiling and talking to each other. No one has ever been disfellowshipped from this congregation because everybody simply accepts what is taught from the platform and in the literature. No one ever questions the Society or the elders.
When they left the Hall, everybody was driving clean new Buick four door sedans with Watchtowers taped to the lower left side of the back windows. They all live in ranch style government tract houses, get food stamps, have part time cleaning or painting businesses and pioneer full time. No one goes to college. The children are all home schooled or attend a public school where the teachers are all in the truth. The children don't talk to anyone not in the truth and don't take part in any after school sports. The mothers don't read romance novels or gossip.
Every day every family considers the day's text and reads the Watchtower comments about it. No one has any pets in the house or cooks with aluminum pans. No one has television and those with home computers do not access the Internet and only use the Watchtower CD for preparing talks. At bed time the children all go to their clean self made beds and sleep all night. The parents sleep together and pray before they have missionary sex and then they pray again after they have missionary sex. All fathers are elders.
We all think the doctors should change LeRoy's medicine. What do you think?
Clem
PS: After this dream LeRoy just sits in his chair and rocks and blows spit bubbles.