Well, for starters, you might just "stop" everything. Take a sabatical from physical intimacy. (If you are married, talk to your mate and explain things.) Believe me, this will clear your head from too much overcrowding of emotion.
If you can't sleep, and your head feels like a million people are swimming around in there, you need a bit of help from something that will calm you down. Go to the doctor. Sleep deprivation causes our brain to short circuit.
It's like what happened to me about 20 yrs ago. My first husband, whom I had separated from the year before, killed himself. This absolutely devestated me, because I internalized everything and blamed myself, although there was no reason for it. My X mother in law lost it and threatened to hire someone to kill me. She obvious meant it, having gone to the MD State Police barricks several times, telling all of them what she planned to do, 'IF THEY DIDN'T ARREST ME FOR HER SON'S 'MURDER'....yes, she had twisted everything around, and blamed me, even though I was not even in the same state.
Perhaps if I hadn't known about this, I would have been alright, but the MD Police called me here to "warn" me of her threats, and to tell me that they had told her if she showed up another time they would have her arrested. She had just absolutely lost it. Anyway, when all this happened, I thought I would go nuts. I was afraid to go outside, afraid to travel anywhere. I CHANGED. I ALLOWED HER TO CHANGE ME.
I kept thinking I could handle all of this on my own, but then went for days and nights of not sleeping. I had nightmares. I was a wreck. I realized I needed some help. So, I went to the doctor and he said that I was "using up all my adrenaline" because I was constantly "wired to survive". That was the first time I took a tranquilizer. It was to "stop" the circuits in my brain from requesting adrenaline. It made me like a zombie, but at least I slept--and slept--and slept.
After some time of using that medicine, I just decided to stop. Then I was later introduced to Prozac, which I took for a very short while and then stopped. My point is, that sometimes we do have to take medicine. We just need to educate ourselves on the side affects from it's use. For me, just being on that stuff for a short while woke me up to the fact that I just needed to "let go" and learn to live without all the fear. It was a long struggle. I probably didn't get the right counsel at the right time, or the right medicine in some cases, but I kept trying.
Most of all the good that's happened to me mentally and physically has been through just "stopping the madness", taking a good look at myself, and seeing what I need to do to get better. You don't need another person to be complete. Honestly, you just need you. Find yourself and you'll be fine.
Sometimes, we just have to "feel bad" for awhile. We have to go through some stuff in order to grow and heal ourselves. If you are having difficulties, find someone you can talk to. Hang tight and don't date if you are single. If you are married, take some time for yourself--ask for it if you need to. You don't have to go away to do that. Find a private place in your home where you can meditate. Read a good self-help book. Stop thinking in terms of having to do it all right now. You have plenty of time. Let your experiences teach you something, and then "let go".
Relax and enjoy your life. Some of the things we believe to be most important, are highly overrated.
Best wishes to all of you in your endeavors to find yourself and feel better.
"The Truth Is Out There"
Karen/Sentinel