This just isn't right ( Advice & Opinions p...

by SpiceItUp 7 Replies latest watchtower child-abuse

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  SpiceItUp

  ok I have a scenario that just seems wrong to me. I would like any advice or opinoins you have.

  Here are the facts.....

  ----My sister was sexually abused as a child ( I dont know by whom and she is not talking..still a dub)

  ---I was sexually abused as a child (The memories have just started surfacing and I dont know by whom yet)

  OK...my dad watches a 13 yr old girl that has Down Syndrome from time to time to help out her family. In the times that he watches her..he helps her change clothes..and takes her in his hot tub with him. Maybe I am blowing this way out of proportion but this does not set right with me. I mean if a woman (single or married) is not allowed to ride in a car alone with a brother (single or married) then why is my father allowed to help a challenged teenage girl change into a bathingsuit. Plus my mother knows all about it. That I don't get.

  If those facts alone aren't bad enough (in my opinion), here are some more. About a year ago...I dyed my hair a red color. As soon as my father saw it he asked if I thought my mother would do the same and he asked in the manner that the color turned him on. I'm sorry but me dying my hair shouldn't have my father thinking in a sexual manner. That is more of a question a best friend might say to another. One more thing...a while back my father was showing something to me on his computer when I saw a glimpse of a porn icon. Mind you ...I have no problems with porn..but we are talking about a JW here.

  To ask my question...I know I was abused but I have no idea if it was indeed my father. And even if it wasnt my father, isnt his behavior a little bit inappropriate with the DS girl. And what should I do about it if anything.

  Please I need some help on this....this just isnt right!!!
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  Prisca

  Re the girl with DS: I think it is highly inappropriate for your dad to be looking after her in the situations you describe. Who put her into his care? I think her parents/guardians should be approached and asked if they know exactly what goes on whilst their daughter is in his care.

  The other things you describe about your dad are also a bit bizarre. It's hard to say, not knowing all the facts, but I strongly suggest you listen to your instincts.
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  SpiceItUp

  Who put her into his care? I think her parents/guardians should be approached and asked if they know exactly what goes on whilst their daughter is in his care.

  This part is sticky as well....Her parents are divorced and she lives with her mother and sister. Her older sisters were abused by their father (not sure which way). Her family is very uneducated and are studying to be a JW. I am pretty sure they know that she joins him in the hot tub but not 100%. BTW - I forgot to mention that my mother is not present at these times either. She knows they do this but then again..not to be mean..my mother is not the brightest. Not to mention my mother is the one studying with her mother.
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  Reborn2002

  Wow, this is a very strange situation Spice.

  If your father has porn on his computer, made sexual remarks to his own daughter (you), and cares for a 13 yr old girl with DS, I would be VERY concerned for the welfare of that innocent child.

  Besides, if he is looking at porn, he must not be a very strong JW anyway.

  Im not sure to tell you who to go to so as to handle this matter. Generally, the local body of elders are imcompetent, and to go to the police would further seperate you and your family. Alas, something has to be done.

  I would take Prisca's advice and heed your instincts.
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  Lady Lee

  What if you asked your sister her opinion of this situation. Would that be possible

  It certainly sounds inappropriate
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  SpiceItUp

  My sister is a good person..but she always was daddy's little girl and I think she wouldn't want any part of it. As a sister she is good...but as a JW she would choose that over me anyday I hate to say. Besides what would I say or even how would I bring up the question. She still refuses to believe that I was abused..even though she was and it was covered up (gee imagine that). Im thinking that maybe my mother would be the best way to go. She is very soft hearted and might at least agree that it is inappropiate.
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  ashitaka

  CL has a point. If you're concerned about her, then you had better contact someone about it. It sounds weird to me, too. I would think that as long as it's more than just him and her, or at least supervised, then it could be innocent, but alone? That's strange and incredibly stupid, even if nothing is going on.....I mean, would any of us sit in a hot tub alone with a young man/woman in these times of lawsuits and accusations? Even if nothing is going on, he still is not thinking with his head.

  But, I got an uneasy feeling reading your post. Talk to someone.

  ashi
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  crawdad2

  you might want to mention to the child protective services that there possibly have been complaints about him already, but jw elders require 2 witnesses, or they silence the accusers......... it might still be in the files in the kingdom hall........ unless the gov body has already sucessfully told the elders to destroy files like that to keep them out of hot water.