I have a conondrum that exists in the Lowell, MA. congregation. I left the Borg 12 years ago. My ex who is still a slave to the organization divorced me 10 years ago. She got the divorce on the grounds of irreconcilable differences. Now I was led to believe that a person can only divorce thier mate in the Witnesses on the grounds of adultery. I was a JW for 40 years being born and raised in the cult. I went to the elders about this issue and they just shrugged their shoulders and didn't answer me. Typical behavior when they know they have no answer. The only thing I got from these clowns was ,"It was her decision." She remained in good standing and no actions where taken against her. After 2 years I met someone else and started dating. I certainly wasn't going back to the hell I had with my first wife. Now I was accused of adultery (you go figure this one out) and she is scripturally free to remarry. Then when I remarried, my ex calls me and tells me that I have comitted adultery and she is free to remarry. Let me make something clear, I really don't give a tinkers damn about the Witnesses or their rules or edicts but I find this lie and the hypocrisy to be a bit much. The message it sends to my younger children is wrong. My older ones who have left see the hypocrisy and have told their mother such. I feel that my wife is guilty and gets away with it all just because she remains a good dooby and kisses the asses of the clown princes among men. What say you as to this issue. Marco Polo
Question regarding divorce
by docpalo 5 Replies latest watchtower beliefs
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dannyboy
Marco,
The dubs make a distinction between an "unscriptural" and "scriptural" Divorce, the second type permitting remarriage without congregation sanction. So, in their world, a wife could get a legal divorce (but without "scriptural" reasons), then upon her former husband's getting remarried, establish her "freedom" to remarry, ie she would be "scripturally" free to do so.
I sympathize with you, re: being tagged with the onerous "adulterer". Hopefully your kids will see the big picture, if not now, then as they grow older.
---Dan
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NeonMadman
I agree that there's a lot of hypocrisy with the JW policy on divorce. What it sounds like in your ex-wife's case is that she obtained a legal divorce, not on grounds of porneia. Therefore, in the eyes of the congregation, the divorce was not valid, equivalent to a separation. Neither of you was free to remarry. When you did remarry, you (in their eyes) committed adultery, which thus freed her to remarry if she desired. Why she felt the need to call you and tell you about it after you were already married to someone else, I don't know (unless she had just heard a rumor that you remarried and felt that she needed to confirm it from the horse's mouth).
When you say that you have been accused of adultery, do you mean by the congregation? Are they asking you to appear before a judicial committee? If so, you need to search some of the posts on this board for dealing with that sort of thing. Personally, I wouldn't go. I'd refer it to my lawyer if they tried to push it. If you haven't associated with the congregation for a number of years there may not be much they can do.
My case was even freakier than yours. My ex-wife divorced me based upon HER adultery. The judicial committee took no action against her and told her they 'just wanted her to be happy'. The elder's manual says that the guilty party can get a divorce if the innocent party does not forgive the adultery. My ex told me that if I forgave her, she'd just do it again. Somehow, I think she must have failed to mention that to the JC.
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MrMoe
I really don't give a tinkers damn about the Witnesses or their rules or edicts but I find this lie and the hypocrisy to be a bit much.
Ditto!
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LittleToe
"Yeah", what Neon said...
According to JW law, divorce is permissible, as long as they don't get into the sack with someone before you do.
Funny thing is that even some of the stauncher churches accept divorce on the grounds of abandonment (1 Cor.7:15).
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docpalo
In response to the question as to why my ex called me. It was to rub it in that she was getting away with the whole thing. No committee wanted to meet with me. I wouldn't have gone even if that had been the case. I had been out for some time already and she and they knew I held the clown princes among men in derision. I even wrote Mother about it and all I got back was an admonition to read some chapter in some publication about "repentance". What a load of manure that was. They would not even address the issue saying they couldn't because I wasn't a part of the flock. Like one of you said, they bend the rules for themselves. I even had court documents that proved my ex perjured herself in court. The clown princes refused to look into this, saying it was apostate writing. Yeah, I had a apostate Civil Court of Massachusetts give me these documents and the judge and clerks were all apostates working with me to hurt the congregation. If any of you believe that, I have a bridge for sale in Brooklyn, cheap, about a 120 years old, low finance and is a historical landmark.Contact me via this site and we can work out the details. marco polo