my best friend's wedding and her jw family

peaceloveharmony

well, my best friend is getting married next summer. I'm very excited for her! she's an inactive jw and everyone on her father's side are active jws as well as her sister. her sister is the problem. i've known my friend M since i have memory, we always talked about being in each others weddings. her first wedding (at 17 yrs old!!) happened while we were not speaking due to me be da'd and her still under WT control. anyway, i was bummed to have missed that but that marriage didn't last and now she's found a GOOD guy. she wants me and her sister to stand up for her (and her cousin who is inactive as well) well, it seems her sister is having some problems about me being in the wedding i feel bad for M, it is her day and she shouldn't have to deal with the jw bs. it makes me sooooo mad!!! i told her that if it comes down to it, i would be okay with not being in the wedding so her sister could. i will be the bigger person and not make this into a huge mess. she is also worried about who to invite. she wants to invite a few disfellowshipped people that she is close to and a few active jws outside of her family. why does this have to be so difficult? the wts sucks! i don't know what to tell her except that it's her wedding and she should do exactly what she wants. maybe on the invites she could say "please leave all your religious hang-ups at the door" hahaha i did suggest writing a heartfelt letter to her sister but since the wedding is about a year off she is going to hold off and hope that her sis can work this out on her own.

anyway, thanks for listening. needed to vent a bit

hugs

ShaunaC

Aahhh, Harmony! That really sucks how the WT could ruin the most important day of a person's life.

Since your friend is only inactive I can see where she'll have many problems. She must not be having the wedding in the Kingdon Hall, she wouldn't have even been allowed to ask you to be a part of it. Is her hubby-to-be a JW? If not (I know this sounds bad) she could "blame" her worldly husband for wanting a non-religious ceremony. But she must then not expect to see many of the current JW's she wants to invite.

Unfortunately she can't have all that she wants on her wedding day. She will have to decide who she would rather please....herself with having you in the ceremony, her family, or the congregation. She will piss off someone. And I fear that anyway she chooses she will be setting herself for problems.

But I wish her all the happiness in the world. And I hope you do get to share in that!

Shauna

peaceloveharmony

thanks shauna :)

her soon to be hubby is not a jw, they are having a non-religious ceremony outside. the weird thing is her mom and dad are totally fine with me being in her life and in the wedding. it's just her sister who is having some problems with it. anyway hun, thanks for kind words. hopefully by next summer things will have settled with her sis and i'll have stressed for nothing. :)

Billygoat

((((Harmy and M))))

I'm so sorry to hear y'all are going through this. The WTS does suck! But I totally understand. My family is not attending my wedding this fall either. I asked my dad and he said he'd think about it. He did for about 12 hours and then said no. Even if it were to be a civil ceremony outside. *shaking head* I'm trying to stay positive about it. You know like thinking, "There's just four more spots on my guest list that can be filled with people who truly love me."

You are a big person to offer what you're offering. I hope your friend appreciates your sweet heart. I don't see an issue if her parents don't have a problem with you. I'd tell the sister to bugger off! But I wish you both the best. Sounds like you have a really good friendship! Hold onto it - they don't come along that often.

Andi

Kep

Hey Mony,

You truly show that you are the bigger, better and more thoughtful and considerate person. Stepping aside so as not offend her joho sister. As Andi said, if her folks don't have a problem, then tough shit for the sister.

Altho it is a time of joy, she obviously doesn't get into the joho way now by asking you and her cousin who are no longer active members. As a loving and caring friend you will take the back seat, but what does she want ?? If you guys were to be part of each others weddings and you missed the first one, then why miss the second. Her sister needs to snap out of her joho buzz and see the reason for getting together.

I'd be rather peeved myself at how the borg can still screw with peoples lives long after they have left it.

I hope that in the course of time things settle down and the sister chills out to the idea.

Kep

ashitaka

Harmony,

The same thing happened to me and my wife, as to my sister's wedding. We got kicked out after months and months of wrangling with the side of the family that wasn't paying for anything. F**kers.

We're still plunking down some major cash for the wedding gifts, but we don't care. They see that we love them and that's all....we have no alterior motives or prejudices that could trouble the wedding. And that's what they'll remember years down the line when choosing who they hang out with and love.

ashi

Solace

Harmony,

It is sad. Its like the W.T.S manages to split families apart during very important events in their lives like Weddings etc. As a matter of fact, its not only in their lives but also in death by discouraging funeral attendance if they are in a church etc.

My J.W. uncle stayed home during his own daughters wedding since it took place in the grooms church. Her poor sister didnt have the heart to stay home so she sat out on the church steps during the wedding.

It was just so pathetic.

eyegirl

((((harmony))))

the WTS really sucks, doesn't it??!??! it's such an awkward situation for M's sister to put you in--how awful!!! too bad someone doesn't remind her about loving all people. i really hope you can be there to share in her special day. that's what really counts.

beck

chezza

I know how you are feeling, it truly does suck in the major sense, the people you want to spend the happiest day of your life with cant be there, i got married about 6 weeks ago, it was a small intimate wedding, but i had the best time, i just kept remembering it was my day and i didnt care if the dubs didnt want to be there, and i finally got my dad to walk me down the isle not like my first wedding where i wasnt allowed to have him coz he was an adulterer...... What truly makes me sick is the family members who are dubs that think they are so much better than those of us who for various reasons are no longer witnesses....

Beans

PLH:

Is this bent or what? This stuff drives me koo koo man, but I can`t believe all the inactive a D`AD people are going already, certainly this is already a disfunctional non approved event or could be! Hey PLH try taking the sister out get her hammered and get her laid, she just might change her mind!

Love Beans

my best friend's wedding and her jw family

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