Dying of Thirst

by qwerty 3 Replies latest social humour

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  qwerty

  Dying of Thirst.......

  A traveler was stumbling through the desert, desperate for water, when he saw something far off in the distance.

  Hoping to find water, he walked toward the image, only to find a little old peddler sitting at a card table with a bunch of ties laid out for sale.

  The parched wanderer asked, "Please, I'm dying of thirst, can I have some water?"

  The man replied "I don't have any water, but why don't you buy a tie? Here's one that goes nicely with your clothes."

  The desperate man shouted, "I don't want a tie, you idiot, I need water!"

  "OK, don't buy a tie. But to show you what a nice guy I am, I'll tell you that over that hill there, about 5 miles, is a nice restaurant. Walk that way, they'll give you all the water you want."

  The man thanked the peddler and walked away toward the hill and eventually disappeared out of sight. Three hours later he returned. The man at the card table asked, "I told you, about 5 miles over that hill. Couldn't you find it?"

  "I found it all right. They wouldn't let me in without a tie."

  Qwerty
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  unclebruce

  I took me a while to get that one qwerty. (i was at least halfway through before i could see where it was headed lol

  Reminds me of the time my partner and i were bicycle witnessing in rural south australia (one of the driest places on earth) It was hot and this mad dog and a scotsman were peddling our way to an outstation (shearers shed) 20 miles from the homestead. Being young blokes (16) we drank all our water before we got halfway. Slowly peddling along in the stifling heat a mirage took shape in the shimmer ahead. as we got closer the form revealed itself as an old aborigine. His reply to "g'day mate, could you please direct us to the nearest water?" was a mumble and a long boney finger pointing away into the saltbush scrub. We dismounted and leaving bruce with the bikes i dismounted and started off out there with the waterbag (that was the trouble with having the nickname "nature boy" - everyone thought i was a mini bushman)

  a couple of hundred yards of trudging through the bulldust and a call comes from bruce .. i had to go back, the old fella had obeyed the time honored habit of leading strangers away from native wells by setting me off in the opposite direction to where it lay. Aparently when he found we were "brothers of jesus too" he had a change of heart .. canny ol' bugger. Just then the station truck rumbled into view and we slung our bikes aboard and rode in luxury the rest of the way.

  What has this to do with your story? We wore ties. In SA we perspired like fever ravaged niggers, we roasted inside our long sleave shirts, we were nearly choking of dehydration but we always wore a tie. It's not just a witness thing. In high school if the temperature went over 100F an anouncement would be made "boys it's 105F you may now loosen your ties". For many years i couldn't go witnessing without a tie. That's it! let's hatch a cunning plot to burn the freak'n tie factories! It won't work in places north of the tropic of capricorn were folks witness with hawaiin or indonesian shirts hanging out over thier short trousers, hairy arms and legs on display for the world to see.

  raving reminising unc.
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  ozziepost

  G'day unc,

  what youse doin' on the jokes forum? Now you gonna stay around awhile?

  Cheers, Ozzie
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  qwerty

  Nice to see u back here on the forum Unclebruce.

  Thanks for relating that experience

  I always hated wearing ties. I flippin have loadeds of um up stairs. Now I don't attend the meetings anymore can you think of a good use for them?

  Qwerty