A driver is pulled over by a police man.
Man: Is there a problem Officer?
Officer: Sir, you were speeding.
Man: Oh I see.
Officer: Can I see your licence please?
Man: I'd give it to you but I don't have one.
Officer: Don't have one?
Man: Lost it 4 times for drink driving
Officer: I see...Can I see your vehicle registration papers please.
Man: I can't do that.
Officer: Why not?
Man: I stole this car.
Officer: Stole it?
Man: Yes, and I killed and raped the owner.
Officer: You what?
Man: She's in the boot if you want to see.
The Officer looks at the man and slowly backs away to his car and calls for back up. Within minutes 5 police cars circle the car. A senior officer slowly approaches the car, clasping his half drawn gun.
Officer2: Sir, could you step out of your vehicle please! The man steps out of his vehicle.
Man: Is there a problem sir?
Officer2: One of my officers told me that you have stolen this car and murdered the owner.
Man: Murdered the owner?
Officer2: Yes, could you please open the boot of your car please.
The man opens the boot, revealing nothing bar an empty boot.
Officer2: Is this your car sir?
Man: Yes, here are the registration papers.
The officer is quite stunned.
Officer2: One of my officers claims that you do not have a driving licence.
The man digs in his pocket revealing a wallet and hands it to the officer. The officer opens the wallet and examines the licence. He looks quite puzzled.
Officer2: Thank you sir, one of my officers told me you didn't have a licence, stole this car, raped and murdered the owner.
Man: Bet you the lying bastard told you I was speeding, too.
Speeding Ticket
by Simon 8 Replies latest social humour
-
Simon
-
-
-
larc
A man and wife were driving down the road when a policeman pulls them over. The policeman comes up to the driver's window to tell the man that he had a broken tail light. The man expresses surprise and the wife pipes up, "I told you should have gotten that fixed." The husband starts yelling and cussing at her for giving him away. The policeman asks the woman, if her husband always yelled at her that way. She said, "Only when he is drunk, officer."
-
-
larc
Got another one. Very late at night, a man was weaving down the highway and was pulled over by the police. The cop at his window asked him if he had been drinking and the man said had been and that he was really drunk. The cop asked him if the knew that his wife had fallen out of the car about two blocks back. "Thank God," the man said, "I thought I had lost my hearing."
-
termite 35
A man was in his car when he lost control and suddenly crashed in to another car; the steering wheel was forced back into his lap and he lay in the car, praying for help to come... The ambulance arrived and the paramedic jumped out and went over to the injured man...
paramedic 'Are you ok ?.'
Man 'I think i'm badly hurt'
aramedic 'oh, my God; the steering wheel has jammed on your penis'
Man ;'Get it off- it's driving me nuts...!!!'
-
-