A couple weeks ago, I was in Dallas. Ran into some apostates while I was there...
I stayed the weekend with another apostate, my friend M, the one of " I can't find my car " fame. Another (life-long girlfriend) of hers who I'd never met also happened to be in town that same weekend but I didn't know about *her* until Sunday morning as M and I were figuring out where we wanted to go have breakfast. Since it didn't bother me none, I suggested to M that she invite, uh... let's call her Brandy, since... well... that's her name.
"The more the merrier." (Hell... breakfast, two women, and coffee, too? To me, that sounded like an awfully good way to spend a lazy Sunday morning.)
So, we go -- the three of us.
In the course of casual chit-chat and the excellent food at Cafe' Brazil, M casually (but sorta on purpose) lets it drop that Brandy is a JW. Not your average, every now and then JW, but a real, honest to god JW.
Oh! All of a sudden, I'm intrigued. Brandy has taken on a whole new appeal!! Haven't been in this sort of company in a loooooong time!
But wait. The story gets better.
She's not only a JW, but a person M's family (long-time / hard-core / 'father's-an-elder' kind of family) damn near adopted when Brandy was a kid. M and Brandy are serious friends from WAAAY back. Shit... they played jacks when they were kids, for crying out loud. More like sisters.
And even *that* ain't all! Watch this: Brandy has a degree in accounting. A degree.
Good grief. This is more mental work than I expected to be dealin' with this particular Sunday morning. I mean, my head is swimmin'....
Okay... so, I'm thinking: we got us here a young, single, degreed JW woman, driving a nice-ass Lexus who's outspokenly friends with a known apostate. Good god. I'm thinking, "you don't see that everyday."
One thought came to me real quick (since thats how thoughts usually come): she (Brandy) been to college!! (Well, M has too, and got her a damn fine job, but that's a whole 'nuthah story.) Brandy even stayed there a while, considering she done got a degree. "This must be a woman who can thank for herself," I thought.
Here I had right in front of me a real-live, actual, thinking JW. Oh, I must tell you... the games that came to mind that I figured I could play with her. Instead, out of the blue, after a time of idle chat, I asked: "So, since you are a staunch JW, why do you hang with M?"
The silence at the table was thick, ya hear me? M, who is not burdened with religiously imposed ideas and who views Brandy as a real friend regardless of her religious affiliation, waited -- yearned -- for the answer. Before she did, I excused myself (too much coffee) and told the two that I would return with what *I* thought the answer was to my own question but, "don't wait on me, Brandy. You go ahead." When I got back, I found out that Brandy hadn't said a word. She wanted me to speak before she did.
[Let me back-track for a minute: Some time ago, M told me that she was feinin' (wanting really, really -- I mean REALLY bad) to write a letter of disassociation, at the encouragement of her Elder pops. I have tried, so far successfully, to talk her out of it.]
So, I get back to the table. I asked M what Brandy's answer was and they both say that Brandy hadn't said a word. They're waiting on me. *I* said simply that very few areas of JW life are gray, but this one was. M was an "apostate" but hadn't written her letter of disassociation yet. Once she does, she will be out of the gray area and you (Brandy) will have no choice but to shun her, as a loyal servant of Jehovah-the-Most-High-God-whose-present-day-Mouthpiece-is-the Governing-Body would." (or words to that effect)
The up-till-now outspoken Brandy simply said: "you're right."
M knew what the likely answer was, but was visibly stunned anyway. I felt bad for both of them.
It was the last dumb-ass answer I wanted to hear but in the back of my mind, expected I would. To myself I said, "Ain't this a bitch. Even the rare ones are programmed, against life-long friends, even." The mood was quiet but serious.
"You mean to tell me that M, who is and has been your friend almost your entire life, your sister from way back, all of a sudden *wouldn't be* if she wrote out her feelings on a piece of paper for others to read?"
M came up with a brilliant, interactive illustration. She got two packs of sugar from the little container on the table. The printing on the little packages was just slightly different. M asked, wanted to know, if what was on the inside of the two packs of sugar was the same.
From Brandy: [silence]
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This is not a knock on the Brandys of the world. It's just a living example of the simple fact that JWs don't know either who their friends are or even the meaning of friendship.