New California Drivers License test

rekless

For those of you who are not "fortunate" enough to live in California, here is a copy of the California Driver's Exam, and for those of you who do, study

real hard. This is a new exam. Since driving conditions (and culture)are unique in Los Angeles, you may not have realized that the California Department of Motor Vehicles has now issued a special application and driver's test solely for the Los Angeles Metropolitan Area.

GREATER LOS ANGELES AREA DRIVER'S LICENSE APPLICATION:

Name:___________________

Stage name: __________________

Agent:___________________

Attorney:____________________

Therapist name:_________________

Sex: ___male ___female ___formerly male > ___formerly female ____both

*If female, indicate breast implant size: _______

Will the size of your implants hinder your ability to safely operate a motor vehicle in any way? Yes___ No ___

Please list brand of cell phone: ________. If you don't own a cell phone, please explain:________________________

Please check hair color: > Females: [ ] Blonde [ ] Platinum Blonde
Teenagers: [ ] Red [ ] Orange [ ] Green [ ] Purple [ ] Blue [ ] Skinhead

Please check activities you perform while driving:

(Check all that apply)

[ ] Eating

[ ] Drinking Starbucks coffee

[ ] Applying make-up

[ ] Shaving (male or female)

[ ] Talking on the phone

[ ] Lifting weights

[ ] Slapping kids in the back-seat

[ ] Applying cellulite treatment to thighs

[ ] Tanning

[ X ] Snorting cocaine (already checked for your convenience)

[ ] Watching TV

[ ] Reading Variety

[ ] Surfing the net via laptop

[ ] Discharging firearms / Reloading

Please indicate how many times

a) you expect to shoot at other drivers _____

b) how many times you expect to be shot at while driving _____

a) Call the police to report the crime.

b) Call Channel 9 News to report the crime, then watch your car on the news in a high-speed chase.

c) Call your attorney and discuss lawsuit against cellular phone company for 911 call not going through.

d) Call your therapist.

In the event of an earthquake, you should :

a) stop your car.

b) keep driving and hope for the best.

c) immediately use your cell phone to call all

loved ones.

d) pull out your video camera and obtain footage for Channel 9.

In the instance of rain, you should:

a) never drive over 5 MPH.

b) drive twice as fast as usual.

c) you're not sure what "rain" is.

Please indicate number of therapy sessions per week: ______.

Are you presently taking any of the following

medications?

a) Prozac

b) Zovirax

c) Lithium

d) Zanax

e) Valium

f) Zoloft

g) All of the above

h) None of the above

*If none, please explain: __________________.

Length of daily commute:
a) Over 2 hours

When you don't know what you're doing,

someone else always does. ;)

invisible

Actually, here in the UK, the sooner the introduction is made to switch policy from one driving test to one every five years the better. Lets face it, cars, in the wrong hands can be lethal machines. With the amount of dreadful drivers on the roads, especially those that cannot for some unfathomable reason, reverse first time into a small parking bay or get confused on roundabouts, simply put, they should not be driving on the public road in the first place. We're a small country with a massive overload in our transportation policies, I say, the more stringent the test the better. Get the bad drivers onto public transport and let the rest of us drive more safely as a result.

'Celtic' Mark

CariocaGirl

This is funny and I am sure not far from the truth.

When I lived in CA I had to take the written test 2 times and had to pay a $300.00 PENALTY fee b/c my car wasn't "approved" by California Standards eventhough it did pass the emission test, ( BTW it was a brand new car), and after I passed the test and paid all the fees still could not get my permant license b/c I did not have residency in CA. . Things there are "whacked out" I swear.

Carioca

BRASIL ....

PENTA CAMPEAO!!!!!!

Windchaser

LOL, Rekless, this makes me want to move to LA and get my driver's license.

julien

All concerns gently melt away as you wake each morning to blue skies and 70 degrees, low humidity, and cool nights all year long.. now what was this thread about again?