So much of my past as a Witness revolved around fear. So many different types ...
Fear of Jehovah
I was always afraid that I was not doing enough and that I was not acceptable to him. I felt that even with my best efforts, something about me would make me unacceptable
Family Fear
I was always afraid as a child that I would bring my mother shame in doing things that the congregation would scorn her for. I remember elders talking to her all the time about things we were doing and asking for her to improve the way things were done (My father was not a active Witness). I remember seeing the embarrassment from her when these things happened.
Congregation Fear
I was always afraid that I would have someone report me for doing something I didn't, and then I would have to waste so much time defending myself. I was also afraid that something like this would happen to my wife, or other friends I cared about.
World Fear
I was always afraid that something would tempt me and I would be brought out of favor with the organization and the way Jehovah wanted things done.
... so answer me something. With all of these fears that 100% of Witnesses have, how does that equal out to love. To me love is a positive number in the equation of life, it is the largest of plus numbers and moments. Fears are the negative numbers, so if you add so many negatives together, how do you equal that great big positive? Basically, you don't! You end up with a really large negative number that can be spread and seen for miles around by all.
So basically, to equal out the equation that is life. You can not sit in fear, and say it is love. Fear is just that "FEAR!" Love is just that "LOVE!" No scripture twisting will ever get me to thinking otherwise. All those thoughts are meant to take away your "love" and to put more control on you through "fear".
Oh how nice it is to be free of such fears, and held by so much love.
Take Care
Edited by - kenpodragon on 10 July 2002 17:14:48