OK, by now everybody on this board knows how much I love the peepz over at JWZone. Really, honestly, I tried not to create this thread, but I couldn't help it with some of the topics which have popped up there in the last couple of days. That board is just such a pain to read, it's almost unbelievable. Seriously, it looks like an explosion in an Angry Fruit Salad factory.
Just look at these beauties (my "editorial" comments are in RED!):
Which OS Does Your Brain Run ON?http://www.jwzone.org/forums/showthread.php?s=9ec4f962fc6b1da04d9fa065a847401f&threadid=5044
There's a poll there, but they left out Win95a (the very first release - you know the one that would crash every second time you booted it after a clean install?) They also left out AtariOS, for Bethelites!
"My BrainOS is a vintage Unix... the kernel's pretty solid, but the I/O can suck sometimes."
BWhAHAHA! If he were a real died-in-the-wool Dub, his InOut would NEVER suck!
Linux heads, Window Heads, I love and connect with you all! Its all Good!
Oh my. Nuff said.
lh talkedit.exe
del c:\brain\root\speech\smartelicremark.tmp
xcopy c:\brain\root\speech\nice\pleasent.voc c:\brain\central\
cd c:\brain\root\speech\nice
c:\functions\speak.exe pleasent.voc
Backslashes are for WEENIES! Real Men (TM) use FORWARD SLASHES! And have UNIFIED FILE SYSTEMS, NOT DRIVE LETTERS! Lol...
Here's another one that's great for laughs, "Repelling Aggressive Men in Field Service":
http://www.jwzone.org/forums/forumdisplay.php?s=9ec4f962fc6b1da04d9fa065a847401f&forumid=10
One idea nysister and I tossed around was "The Brooklyn Growl"
OK, warning to all Apostates in Good Standing, do not get too "aggressive" when confronting Dubs at your door with the UN scandal or the Silentlambs issue or the Failed Prophecy Conundrum, because you might get the "Brooklyn Growl"!!! Oh, the humanity!
Side Note: Aren't Dubs not supposed to believe in Klingons? That was the impression my CO game me!!!!!!!!!!
Imagine if a Dub did this to you:
If I'm walking and someone makes me nervous, I will stare them down. It's kind of fun. Sometimes I just do it for fun to see how people react. I just stare into their eyes without smiling or blinking, and they get really nervous. Hee hee.
That would FREAK ME OUT!
But you may need to be careful -- the "stare" is like the force -- best used as a defensive weapon than an offensive one. (Just a word of caution.)
SPIRITISM IN THE RANKS! Call the Elders now!
I have this habit of modifying the way I talk to imitate the thought patterns of whomever I'm talking too. This tends to make women treat me as if I'm another woman.
Oh boy. I think that poster has some, uh, issues he needs to talk to the Elders about.
Check out this rampant censorship protecting the Sheep:
http://www.jwzone.org/forums/showthread.php?s=9ec4f962fc6b1da04d9fa065a847401f&threadid=5157
Good question, Zordec... I don't keep exact statistics, but from the numbers available to me, I can say that over the last year there have been around 200 applications, of which roughly two thirds have been approved. A significant proportion of those applications have been in the last couple of month, and most of the recent ones have not been approved.
Have you guys been naughty again? NAUGHTY NAUGHTY APOSTATES! Now go to your room while I fetch my paddle!
My poor hubby gets hit on a bit....by GUYS. He just has a rather pretty face, and well it brings out all the freaks.
Seems JWZone is a haven of homophobia at it's finest. Delightful, innit?
You know looking at the title of this thread has me thinking that a very intersting way would be too. Carry a little spray bottle (the kind you can put water in or oils) And make a tag that say "Worldly Man Repellant" In bright orange or some other color they can't miss. And than when they try to bother you. Spray it in their direction and say "Shoo"
OK, that just made me up. Apostate Girls, line up to get your free "Dub Man Repellent" from SYN Industries for the low, low, never to be repeated price of...damn I don't know, just take it for free, you're gonna need it. Dubs love Apostate Chicks.
Here's a classic thread - "Do U Talk To Yourself":
http://www.jwzone.org/forums/showthread.php?s=9ec4f962fc6b1da04d9fa065a847401f&threadid=3915
and frankly.. i have a great sense of humor i crack myself up..... oh and i sing to myself too.... makes me feel better...
Well well. Seems the Kingdom Melodies weren't enough, and that this Sister is UNGRATEFUL to Jehovah! Oh the horror!
I talk to myself a lot, but currently I refuses to talk to me over some personal issues. I'm hoping christian love will move me to forgive me, I guess I'll just have to wait and see.
Erm. OK. Whatever.
Oh no. This is so far beyond funny that it's almost sad. "Predicting The Future":
http://www.jwzone.org/forums/showthread.php?s=9ec4f962fc6b1da04d9fa065a847401f&threadid=4993
Actually it turns out there wasn't even a single "quotable quotable" in that thread! How boring! Couldn't they have at least said something incindiary?
Uhoh. My whole post is red. Oh well, you guys can all read it. At least Simon doesn't create Explosive Angry Fruit Salad sites - there are just minor things up with the formatting here and there, unlike JWZone, that whole site is one big formatting faux pax
Hey, wouldn't it be funny if more Apostates were visiting JWZone than actual Witnesses? That would be HILARIOUS!