Kingsman:The Secret Service

by Captain Schmideo2 3 Replies latest social entertainment

  • Captain Schmideo2
    Captain Schmideo2
    Spoiler Alert!!!!
    If you have not seen this movie yet, and plan on it, then do not read this post, as it contains a major plot element:

    Please read the transcript of the following speech that Valentine (the villain of the movie) gives to the chosen survivors of his plan to wipe out most of humanity in order to save planet Earth:

    [Valentine notices the people in the party room looking gloomy]

    Valentine: The f---'s wrong with them?

    Gazelle: I don't know. Could be something to do with the mass genocide.

    Valentine: Give me the mic.

    [Gazelle hands Valentine a microphone. Valentine stands up]

    Valentine: Hey all! Everybody listen up! What the f--- is wrong with you people? I just want to remind you all that today is a day of celebration! We must put aside all thoughts of death, and focus on birth! The birth of a new age! We mustn't mourn the ones who give their lives today. We should honor their sacrifice, and their role in saving the human race. We must put aside doubts and guilt. You are the chosen people! When folks tell their kids the story about Noah's Ark, is Noah the bad guy?

    [Crowd says NO!]

    Valentine: Is God the bad guy?

    [Crowd says NO!]

    Valentine: How about the animals marching two by two?

    [Crowd says NO!]

    Valentine: Of course not! Yeah, that's it! Let's turn those frowns upside down. Eat, drink, and paaaaarty!

    Doesn't this sound eerily similar to the talks we have heard about surviving Armageddon, and how, even though we will be saddened by all the deaths, we will also be so HAPPY to have survived?


  • cofty
    cofty
    I saw the film a while ago. I thought the scene with the exploding heads to the tune of Land of Hope and Glory was one of the best bits of black comedy in cinematic history.
  • Vidiot
    Vidiot

    I still haven't seen it; is it worth a blind buy?

  • Captain Schmideo2
    Captain Schmideo2

    Most definitely

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