About ten months ago my wifes best friend (an active JW) stopped shunning her. It started with occasional phone calls. Recently this friend chose not to attend the convention to avoid lying about talking with my wife. She said, "It's stupid, they (the elders) don't have any right to tell me who I can talk to. It's none of their business!"
My wife and I were thrilled to hear these free thoughts from her friend and I thought I'd pass on what I've learned about reversing the JW indoctrination.
1) Joining the Org. is a long drawn-out process. Exiting the Org. takes just as long or longer. Be patient and go SLOWLY.
2) At first, AVOID any talk of spiritual matters. My wife's friend brought up the topics when she was ready to hear it.
3) Set a good example. My wife is MORE moral now than when she was "in", she drinks less and curses less; (mainly because of her "worldly" husband). Show them that ex-JWs aren't demonized wicked sinners.
4) Let the congregations help out. The friend's congregation just baptised a cigarette-smoking, pot-smoking, pot-growing sister! Then there's the sleazy sister who sins like mad and gets away with it every time (everyone thinks she's using her body to get favors from the elders). Theres also the groping elder. The brother drunk in a bar in the middle of the afternoon while he was supposed to be working. The usual politics, clics, and injustices. Compared to these people my wife and I look like saints!
5) Don't present facts. Ask questions and let them think out the answers.
6) Be a friend. JW's need to know that all their friends aren't just active witnesses.
7) Be honest, but tactful.
8) Don't push. The friend missed Dateline because of the special air-time. We offered to show her the tape but she declined (just wasn't ready). We dropped the subject figuring she would ask when she wants to see it.
Well, thats about all for now. I hope someday I get the time to type out the whole story of this friend. I think she'll be visiting here soon (if she hasn't already).