How to Spot Satan's Harlots - Wiccans!
by COMF 6 Replies latest social humour
-
-
MrMoe
That was funny!!! Here are the highlights...
Wiccans are generally overweight and of pale complexion. If they are not pale, they use powder or makeup (even the boys!) to generate the illusion of paleness or death. Wiccans are given to the piercing of skin as a sign of submission to their master, Satan.
Some Wiccans pierce their genitals as well. If you happen to peek over into the stall next to you and see a urination stream spraying in three directions (to mock the Trinity), it is likely the person is a Wiccan who just had the tip of his penis carefully pierced by his coven leader. (NOTE: Most coven leaders are either Catholic priests or tattoo parlor owners)
Wiccans usually bring home better grades at school than most of their peers. This is not because they are more intelligent, but rather because they cheat by casting spells and hexes on their teachers. Their master (Satan) is also highly adept at moving their pudgy little fingers in the right direction on a test paper.
It is also important to note here that if a Wiccan is sober enough to vote, it will always be for a Democrat.
bite-size Jesus steaks that are oftentimes smoked and cured into what Wiccans jokingly call, "Jesus Jerky."
Wiccans are also known to tear out pages from the Bible (especially pages that have red writing on them). They use them to roll marijuana cigarettes into something they refer to as "a joint."
Edited by - MrMoe on 26 July 2002 23:10:9
-
Xander
Oh, I dunno, I liked:
"From what we can gather, like Jewish people, Wiccans kidnap Christian children and drink their blood to seal their commitment to Satan."
Teeheehee
We also believe that True Wiccans are receiving orders directly from the Vatican
I just love these guys.
you wont have to see that unless you capture one.
!!! But...wait....what do they do when they capture one such that they HAVE to see that then!?!?!
a urination stream spraying in three directions (to mock the Trinity..
!!! Okay, THAT was good, too!!!
And, the all-time best:
True Christians
THAT'S just gotta be a Society(tm) trademark!
-
heathen
I especially like the end where they dig up some old testament scripture to support the belief that they are morally correct in putting someone to death .Maybe they should try reading the new testament.This would start an old fassioned witch hunt that they would wind up on trial for murder .What a joke .
-
Xander
Besides, goth chicks = teh c00l!
@ Landover Baptists, though.
If it weren't for other threads here showing that some people really seem to buy into that kind of thing, it would be hysterical.
-
SYN
LMAO...
-
seedy3
WOOOOO.......... I was reading that and thought it was for real until I got to the end, LMAO. I'm going as I am reading "What the F***, are they using for sources?" LOL, anyhow I did get a real kick out of the comaparison to the Jews and drinking young christian childrens blood.
I studied Wicca for a while and I remember that was one of the first things they teach you is how to lead a christian into the bleeding Chamber. ROFL
Seedy