I think it's sweet what you described, Larry, and if it allows you the "space" to show that respect for your dad, then by all means, enjoy visiting his grave. I went to several funerals when a JW, JW funerals and worldly relatives (I did sit in the waiting area, though, while the priest was doing his thing at my brother's funeral). And at my grandmother's graveside funeral, I did not join in mouthing the Lord's Prayer. But being at the gravesites themselves didn't bother me (as far as WT guilt) because I guess I felt funerals were an OK thing to do for family, and I "knew" the dead were peacefully asleep but they "would be back"!
As far as graveyards in general, I always liked them, as a dub and now. Usually they are well manicured, beautiful places, nice and quiet, lots of trees, birds and sunshine on a pretty day. As an apartment dweller, I always wanted to take a lounge chair and a good book and go to a graveyard just for the peacfulness, quietness, and to be alone in the out of doors, as long as the Ax-Man didn't jump up behind me... ;)
(if you go to a public park to sit and read, too many people around).
Are graveyards private property in the sense you could not go sit with a loungechair and read a good book all day? That's the only reason I never did it, 'cuz I was afraid they would run me off...
As far as that scripture goes, I would think anything taken to an extreme would be the point. Naturally, Jehovah knows people need to be buried/tended to when they die. But if we grieved incessantly forever about it, and became obsessed with grave visiting, maybe that's what Jesus meant. Guessing here...
Grits