Being marginalised by JW's and family, how to combat it?

Crazyguy

When one leaves the religion and fades it starts to become obvious that they move on with out you but this is not enough for them so they also marginalize you, loose respect for you etc. They even tell stories about you. Example my wife talking to my mother tells her that I now believe aliens came to this planet and created man. This of course is probably more plausible idea then jehoover doing it I have never said I believe this. This all seems to be a plot to destroy one credibility which we know the borg has imployed over the years. What have you done to combat this and stop them from margalizing you?

FayeDunaway

Correct false stories when you can. But remember not to worry too much about what other people think about you. That is the witness way, constantly thinking about how you appear to others. But it's your life to live. You are breaking free, so let go of those old worries. What they think doesn't really matter. They are all nutty anyway. Just because their belief system is socially accepted amongst themselves doesn't make it less crazy. So just live your own life and they can think what they want.

The Searcher

I'm pretty sure that the inmates in mental institutions talk about the staff when they clock off - no different!

Oubliette

Example my wife talking to my mother tells her that I now believe aliens came to this planet and created man.

Call them on their bullshit.

Confront them with their hypocrisy.

Why do people that claim to have "the Truth" need to resort to lies to defend their beliefs and tear down any and all that disagree?

Refuse to be a victim.

DesirousOfChange

FAYE: But remember not to worry too much about what other people think about you. That is the witness way, constantly thinking about how you appear to others.

Faye, that comment hit me like a ton of bricks. That is indeed the "witness way". As a child everything revolved around appearance. What it look like if this........? Doing this or that would bring reproach on Jah's name. etc etc My wife says I still live in constant fear of what others will think about me. And while some level of that concern, is normal, the "witness was" is clearly overboard (and mentally harmful, I think).

Doc

FayeDunaway

I was brought up that way too. Most witnesses were. We have to remember that by leaving the religion we've graduated and are free. That constantly watching every single thing you do and wear and say and answer and where you go and how you wear your hair and what musc you listen to and friends you have and how often you make an appearance at the meeting for field service and how many hours you turned in...and worrying about expressing your opinions because it has to follow the party line!...that's all gone, thank god. Unfortunately some of this worrying about how we appear still exists in the world...worrying about driving a car that's fancy enough, or what college your kids get into or brands of clothing your family wears. None of that brings happiness. It's all superficial.The only way to be happy is to be free, and to be yourself. Caring what other people think just robs your happiness, and as you say, is mentally harmful and terribly repressive!

kaik

The best way is to start your own family. Move away and live your own live without worrying about something that you cannot change.

JWdaughter

Move forward. If you keep looking behind you, you will trip yourself up.

None of these people will cry when you are dead. They won'tshow up for funeral. Who CARES what they think? They will only show up later to try and get their hooks in those that really mourn you. (Warn them of those tactics).

Live well-best witness you can give them of consequences of leaving Borg.

New day

FayeDunaway I have to agree with you completely. I am still an active Witness but am stepping back from all the watching all that I say and think and do. All for appearance. I used to constantly worry about what others would think. When I stepped back and REALLY thought about it, how many of those I worried about offending were close friends? Not many. I was worried about keeping up appearances for people I didn't know well or even care about, but they were part of the 'whole package' I had to buy into. I resigned as an elder last year but the bros want me to stay involved and maybe go back as an elder. But now that I know...

nicolaou

my wife talking to my mother tells her that I now believe aliens came to this planet and created man.

Ask her if she believes angels came to this planet, had sex with human women and created a race of hybrids.

Being marginalised by JW's and family, how to combat it?

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