Can't Get it Through Their Thick Skulls

dobby

My husband and I have been pulling away from the JW's for almost a year now and we have had very frank discussions with family and friends as to the reason why.

However, they can't seem to get it through their heads that we are unhappy with the WT beliefs, doctrines, essentially the "truth". This despite our voicing strong opinions on the blood issue, child abuse issue, generation, false predictions etc.

Even today my mom-in-law said, "you just gotta serve Jah despite the people" You see about four years ago we had a terrible falling out with some mean and deceitful elders and everyone thinks that is why we are inactive. But it's not, we kept going to the meetings for three years after that event.

And if it is not the elder thing, my friends blame my dysfunctional childhood (namely stepfather) for turning me against the truth, "it's not the truth you can't blame Jah, you just didn't have a happy family, blah, blah, blah..."

Anyone else have this experience?

Not too mention the fact that everyone seems to be holding their breath for something bad to happen to us - something that makes us come crawling back or at least shows we have lost Jah's blessing. Or they keep saying we'll be back, we just have to sort some things out.

Damn, it's kind of making me mad. I have already picked out my son's Halloween costume, maybe I'll just take him to an elder's house on Halloween and get the whole thing over with. Just get D'fed

minimus

They are in DENIAL.

gsx1138

You mean it's not just a river in Egypt?

My mother is still a regular JW. Even though she came to my daughters birthday party and brought a gift. She let her father buy her a birthday lunch. She now watches rated R movies (never thought that would happen). All kinds of other stuff that could get her more than likely DF'd but she still holds on. It took me 10 years to completely get over the WTS. I wouldn't expect any miracles anytime soon from your family.

Dismembered

Dear Dobby

Yes we are going through the same exact thing. They ("the friends") just don't get it

Satanus

It takes a lot of time, probably years. If you rush it too much, then you guys would probably get dfd. Bye-bye family. If you want to stay in contact w your relatives, why not take more time. Give each wt blow (pedo, unngo, whatever) some time to sink in before you hit them w another. Introduce them to franz' first book. If they read the book, they will probably see it for themselves.

SS

Carmel

Considering the Borg's stance on independent thinking, it's likely your relatives just can't believe that you have an independent thought and/or that you actually don't believe the brilliant new light! Hence, their need to explain away your actions.

I hope you find peace and happiness with or without your familie's understanding.

carmel

COMF

At least they're still talking to you. It could be worse.

RandomTask

Yeah, that is almost my experience exactly. More so with my in-laws, but with my mom as well. We really left for a lot of reasons, but the one we thought we could "get away with", at least with our parents, was that we just didn't think that there was love in the congregations and the elders rule the brothers with an iron fist, telling them what they can wear, what they can watch etc. I especially experienced this as an MS.

Well anyway they would just always tell us that "its just the people" and "they're just imperfect". Anything to justify the organization. It didn't matter that these attitudes are rampant in the congregation and that pioneer children of elders get slapped on the wrist for having sex with whoever they want to, "as long as they keep it on the down-low", you know? If they were reasoning people and had an open mind then they would see that any organization claming to have holy spirit operating upon it wouldn't be half as bad as the witnesses were, even the bible says you will know them by their deeds. But they don't and they cling to it either because they are weak or needy or brainwashed or all of the above.

Its sad, especially when its family and you yourself know the real "truth". ANd then you hear your mother in law tell your wife that she would completely cut her off if she celebrated birthdays or holidays.

Wolfgirl

Pretty much the same experience here...

My sister keeps reminding me that it's still "the truth," that it's just the people in it that are imperfect. She wants to know when I'm coming back.

ozziepost

G'day dobby,

It's pretty well standard fare.

I was only talking about this yesterday with Mrs Ozzie and remarked that they can do nothing else but what you've described, for to allow for what you say being true would put their whole belief system at risk. They just can't face up that, so they are in denial mode. It'll serve them well until such time as they face their own crisis of conscience. Then, they may remember what you said to them. Comfort yourself with that thought.

Cheers, Ozzie

Can't Get it Through Their Thick Skulls

Share this