by restorebeauty 8 Replies latest jw friends
I have dated a non-active (from birth) JW off and on for the past 3 years and I have noticed that he is not very affectionate at all.
I'm wondering was it part of the upbringing? Could it be that since the relationships were shallow this never was an issue.
Has anyone else experienced this.
Very Curious
restore beauty ! My advice to you is run dont walk to another man. They are devoid of emotion if a true Jehovahs Witness.
Sex is an absolute No! No before marriage. So even if he feels like it- It is evil for him to entertain the thought.....
I have to say( sorry exJWS) I think when we leave the "lie" ( truth to them) none of us are unscathed mentally.
You may not want my advice but as an old woman I am giving it to you- take it or leave it- But I warn you- Your in for a let down if you get "hooked" up with this robot
Hi and Welcome!
I don't know how old "he" is but it would be helpful for you to get the JW thinking on the matter if you ask him to bring you the book "Questions Young People Ask--Answers That Work." Look up section 6 "Sex and Morals" and section 7 "Dating, Love and the Oppostite Sex." That pretty well sums up what young people in the JW cult are taught. That isn't to say that ALL people who are baptized JW adhere to it. Not by any stretch of the imagination. But some do, especially if their parents are JW and are strict. Getting married while you are a virgin is stressed a lot--for both men and women. Well I hope this info helps you better understand the mind set of the JW with regards to dating.
There's some nice people on this Forum, hope you continue to share your thoughts with us.
YoursChelbie
"The people I like here are worth the people I have to put up with." --WT
Edited by - YoursChelbie on 9 August 2002 10:30:11
It could just be a personality thing..my bf is not affectionate either and he was never a jw.
I have spoke to him about and he is trying to do better.
Hi,
This lack of affection among jw's was one of the reasons I left .I got tired of hearing about the "love" the witnesses have and yet everybody there is uptight and aloof.Certain ones are left out of social events if they're not in the "clique".If that is "agape" love then leave me out.I wouldn't want to live in a world full of cold people anyway.
P.S.,
Has your friend been counseled for seeing a "worldly" person?This could also account for the coldness.
DSGAL,
He is not an active JW and please keep in mind we have done the doo plenty of times, he has done the whole celebration of every holiday with me and so on, however, when it comes to a simple hug, hand hold, etc. he is extremely challenged.
It could very well just be a personality thing.
restorebeauty,
If he was raised in a jw household,then I would say yes,it is a result of his upbringing,
If you take this relationship to the next level, you will begin to find that there will be issues in the bedroom as well. This is the result of all that "sex is evil" indoctrination.
I was raised as a JW. My parents and I are a very affectionate family, with regular "I love you"s, hugs and kisses. I enjoy a warm, openly affectionate relationship with my husband.
Maybe it is just the way your boyfriend is.
Is your bf baptised? He may be repressing guilty feelings about you, and it is surfacing as a lack of affection?
If he is still associating with JW's, you will have a rocky road ahead. Even if he is not associating, he will have a lot of sorting out to do in his head. I was not ready to be a good partner to anyone for some years after leaving, and even now my husband has to put up with some baggage.
Good Luck restorebeauty!!
