I've decided to start posting again. No one of any significance probably noticed I was gone, being kind of new here when I left any way. I have no controversial subjects to bring up, just that I'm lonely and scared, but that's hardly controversial.
Big things are happening but it doesn't have anything to do with the JW. So I'm just coming to this board to ramble, like I used to. And probably like in the past my posts will simply be ignored by the brighter of the posters. Eh, isnt it at least nice to know that somebody will let you post even if it makes absolutely no sense and has absolutely nothing for anyone to read.
Okay, enough. Boy that was depressing but I've been thinking about my relatives lately. More than half my family is JW. The ones who arent not JW are separated by distance and even then if I lived closer (which I will soon), they're very busy with their lives. The family who is and is close, are sometimes offish, being the "bad influence" that I am. They tell me how sad it is because I don't come to meetings and they never see me. I still have a telephone and they live less then 5 miles away. I guess some people, even though they are "financially well off" still haven't found what cars, telephones, and computers are really for, yet. I miss being able to talk to my cousins and hang out.
In the past, going camping and fishing usually meant with some JW friends. But all that is gone now that we've faded. I can't tell if the magic of those events has been lost because I am growing older or because I left the congregation or if I just am a really boring person at heart. Whatever it is, I don't like it.
I'm moving to college soon. It's kind of scary (hence the I'm scared at the beginning of this post) because I have to move in with a total stranger and find a hole new social structure, which I've never really done despite having to deal with being a "bad influence." Coming from a small town, the way to make friends was really, don't step on anyone's toes, be nice, and watch your back. Because if you piss someone off, you'd better watch out. This was the same in the congregation. Going to college means that I'll finally be able to pick what kind of people I really want to hang out with. And while this might seem like freedom to most of you, it screams "ahh" to me. It's hard to do things for your self after you haven't been able to truly do it most of your life.
Despite the reassurances from my family, I still feel very apprehensive. Well, anyway, I guess I got on this roller coaster ride and I have to finish it, no matter what, because I'm already buckled in and moving.
Anyway, "hi".