Email from God

by Prisca 6 Replies latest social humour

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  Prisca

  One day God was looking down at Earth and saw all of the evil that was going on. He decided to send an angel down to Earth to check it out.
  
  So he called on a female angel and sent her to Earth for a time.
  
  When she returned she told God, "Yes, it is bad on Earth...95% is bad and 5% is good."
  
  Well, He thought for a moment and said "Maybe I had better send down a male angel to get both points of view."
  
  So God called a male angel and sent him to Earth for a time.
  
  When the male angel returned he went to God and told him "Yes, the Earth is in decline, 95% is bad and only 5% is good."
  
  God was saddened at the confirmation of the bad news. He decided to send e-mail to the 5% that were good and encourage them, a little something to help them keep going.
  
  Do you know what that e-mail said?
  
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  Oh, you didn't get one either?
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  Prisca

  Yassar Arafat, not feeling well and concerned about his mortality, goes to consult a psychic about the date of his death.
  
  Closing her eyes and silently reaching into the realm of the future she finds the answer: "You will die on a Jewish holiday.
  
  "Which one?" Arafat asks nervously.
  
  "It doesn't matter," replied the psychic. "Whenever you die, it'll be a Jewish holiday.
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  Satanus

  Good one. People probably deleted the emails, thinking they were viruses or something.

  SS
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  TR

  I got it. It said:

  "Dude, keep on keepin' on, man! Keep hammering those religious zealots that protect pedophiles."

  TR
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  witchywoman

  I`ll be checking my mail. Since God is not on my ok list he may end up on my junk/porno file.

  witchywoman
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  Prisca

  A woman died and found herself standing outside the Pearly Gates, being greeted by St. Peter. She asked him, "Oh, is this place what I really think it is? It's so beautiful. Did I really make it to heaven?" To which St. Peter replied, "Yes, my dear, these are the Gates to Heaven. But you must do one more thing before you can enter." The woman was very excited, and asked of St. Peter what she must do to pass through the gates. "Spell a word," St. Peter replied. "What word?" she asked. "Any word," answered St. Peter. "It's your choice." The woman promptly replied, "Then the word I will spell is love. L-o-v-e." St. Peter congratulated her on her good fortune to have made it to Heaven, and asked her if she would mind taking his place at the gates for a few minutes while he went to the bathroom. "I'd be honored," she said, "but what should I do if someone comes while you are gone?" St. Peter reassured her, and instructed the woman simply have any newcomers to the Pearly Gates to spell a word as she had done. So the woman is left sitting in St. Peter's chair and watching the beautiful angels soaring around her, when lo and behold, a man approaches the gates, and she realizes it is her husband. "What happened?" she cried, "Why are you here?" Her husband stared at her for a moment, then said, "I was so upset when I left your funeral, I was in an accident. And now I am here? Did I really make it to Heaven?" To which the woman replied, "Not yet. You must spell a word first." "What word?" he asked. The woman responded, "Czechoslovakia".
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  Solace

  Tehehehe