Check out this Onion article: http://www.theonion.com/onion3828/magazine_announces.html. If you don't want to read the whole thing, just check out the penultimate (second-to-last) one. (Sorry, I don't get many chances to use "penultimate." What a geek I am!) For those that don't know, The Onion is a satirical newspaper.
One other thing: there are only eleven days until my grand return! I'll soon be out of my Witness parents' house and on my own! Yes! Prepare the way for me ...
--Ephanyminitas