Should I pay for lunch?

by writerpen 6 Replies latest jw friends

  • writerpen
    writerpen

    I need help. There is this gay man in my church that I've asked to meet me for lunch in about a week. He responded through email saying that he would enjoy that and asked "what arrangements do you suggest," thus wanting time, location, etc. Anyway, this is my thing. If you ask a person to meet you for lunch does that necessarily mean that you are paying for their lunch too? Or would it be inappropriate to ask if we can have separate checks? I need advice before I respond to him with my "suggested arrangements." Or should I just recommend time and location and deal with the check issue at the restaurant. I'm really poor and just can't afford his lunch too, but I really want to talk to him.

  • Sirona
    Sirona

    Hi

    I think that if its a "date" and you ask them, then you pay.

    If its a friend and you have only just met them and you ask them, you pay or at least you offer (they may decline and pay for their own).

    If its a friend who you know well, you can go halves or pay alternately. I meet a lot of friends for lunch and I pay for my own lunch, they pay for theirs.

    Hope that helps,

    Sirona

  • Celia
    Celia

    Tricky situation...

    Why not meet for a walk in a park or what have you...

  • Vivamus
    Vivamus

    Well if it's a date, and you invite, then you pay, or at least make the attempt.

    If he is just a friend, then go Dutch. But I would mention it up front, otherwise you could have an embarrising situation.

    Viv.

    Edited for spelling...

    Edited by - Vivamus on 13 August 2002 8:47:15

  • writerpen
    writerpen

    This is not a date. I really want to inquire about his experience with the Episcopal Church since I'm new to the faith. I sit on some committees with him and assist him on projects for the church. He is gay and has a partner that lives with him. So my having lunch with him has nothing to do with a romantic theme. Actually, I'm wanting to pick his brain about his experience as a gay man in the Episcopal Church.

  • zenpunk
    zenpunk

    I think that, since you did the inviting, you should at least attempt to pay the entire check, regardless of whether or not it is a date.

  • bigfloppydog
    bigfloppydog

    One needs to see the difference between saying

    1. I would like to meet you for lunch OR

    2. I would like to take you out for lunch.

    the first one seems a mutual get togeather, suggesting each pay his own way. The second is you pay as you invited. Two operative words are MEET and TAKE.

    just my thoughts on the situation, the decision is really up to yourself.

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