Taken directly from a site - and only slightly altered - devoted to this wonderful new belief that wipes the floor with tin-pot religions like JW's. Here is da troof!
1. What is Last Thursdayism?
Last Thursdayism is the belief that my cat, George, created the
universe Last Thursday with the appearance of age.
2. But, I clearly remember events prior to Last Thursday!
George implanted memories to test our faith.
3. Does George recreate the universe every Thursday?
No. The universe has only been recreated once. Previous Last Thursdays
are just implanted memories. What happened during Before Last Thursday
is very different from what we think we know. (see #15)
4. What good is it for me to become a Last Thursdayist?
Those who follow George are admitted into Paradise Next Thursday
(Judgement Day). Those who are kind to felines will be assured a place
in Paradise while the kind, uncaring, and creationists will be damned
to the Eternal Litterbox. The Eternal Litterbox is never cleaned.
Those who enter Paradise become cats. Those who aren't bad enough to be
sent to Eternal Litterbox but aren't good enough for Paradise, instead
become slaves to cats in Paradise.
5. Will I go to the Eternal Litterbox if I own a dog?
Provided the dog knows it's place in the universe(below felines), owning
a dog will not damn you to the Eternal Litterbox.
6. What are the benefits to being a slave to more than one cat?
You'll still go to Paradise, but extra-special behavior gives you more
human slaves to dote over you there.
7. Do Last Thursdayists believe in evolutionary theory?
While it may seem initially that Last Thursdayists do not believe in
evolution, the official Church stance whole-hearted accepts the
notion that evidence suggests we evolved to our current forms. Indeed,
evolution is one of the many tests of intelligence set up by George.
Of course, it really didn't happen that way, but Last Thursdayists must
act and think rationally when interpeting their world.
8. What is the evidence for Last Thursdayism?
First off, George can be shown to exist beyond a doubt. You can
even view a picture of His Warm Furry Bellyness on the World Wide Web
at
Secondly, there's the clear evidence of design in humans. What kind of
design you ask? The human race was clearly designed, both physically
and mentally, as a slave race to serve the superior feline species.
What other explanation is there for people to put up with indifference
and abuse from felines and still feed them, pet them, and clean their
litterbox?
Finally, I'd like to present the "Argument from Design" proof of
Last Thursdayism. Credit to where credit is due. This is a modified
from Mark Harpt's ( [email protected]) "Argument from Design". Strangely,
he doesn't seem to be able to say why the argument can't be used this
way.
1. The universe is finite.
2. The universe is fine-tuned.
3. Fine-tuning implies a design.
4. Design implies a designer.
5. A designer implies intelligence.
6. This description match that of, and only of, George.
7. Therefore, George created the universe Last Thursday.
In addition, there's lots of other pieces of evidence that prove that
Last Thursdayism is true but I can't go into that right now.
9. Does Last Thursdayism condone slavery?
Yes. In fact, the Church of Last Thursday encourages you to become a
slave to a cat(frequently, though wrongly, called "owning a cat").
Only the superior feline species can own slaves.
10. What's the Church stand on contraceptives?
The Church of Last Thursday strongly encourages both you and your owner
to be spayed and neutered to keep population in check and everyone happy.
If that isn't possible, contraceptives are encouraged as well.
11. Isn't this really all a bit silly?
Compared to another religion that believes that not speaking to one's children is a loving act and that a loving God intends to wipe out most of his creation, Last Thursdayism is downright rational!
12. Who are Archkitten Mrow, Boo Kitty, and Sydney?
Archkitten Mrow is a delusional pretender to the throne who claims he
created the universe Last Thursday. Boo Kitty is the cat next door who
George has a love/hate relationship with.
Archkitten Mrow and Boo Kitty tempt humans who don't know any better and
try to lead them away from the True Path of Last Thursdayism.
Sydney is a cat who owns Christopher Wood(?) on talk.origins and claims
that he created the universe Last Tuesday. Like Archkitten Mrow, he is
not to be believed.
13. How can I join the Church of Last Thursday?
Just send an email to me, Micheal Keane at [email protected] and
I'll add you to the membership list on the webpage when I get the chance.
14. What are the duties of members of the Church of Last Thursday?
There are no services to attend. All that is required is that you rub
the belly of a cat, at least once a week. Substitute a different activity
according to the wishes of the cat. Becoming a slave to a cat is one
of the best things you can do.
15. Are there plans to introduce Last Thursdayism into the public school system?
Yes. The Church of Last Thursday feels that it should be given equal time
with other theories on the origin of the universe. Such a cirriculum
could include visits from George! This is something that
cannot be done with creationism or any of those other theories.
16. What happened Before Last Thursday?
Before Last Thursday, cats lived on Mars and built pyramids. Then the
Great Flood occured and wiped most of them out. The survivors and George traveled to Earth in their pyramids and set down in Egypt. To
prevent such a disaster from ever happening again, George created a
slave race to take care of cats. This slave race are the homo sapien
species.
Englishman. (Who would dearly love Fred Hall to apologise so's he can answer this post)