Why I believe this site is beneficial

by jelly 6 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  jelly

  It seems to me that when you are in the org. your social skills begin to atrophy. I believe this is do to many reasons but the main two are the theocratic ministry school and the extreme ‘not part of the world’ stand the society takes.

  The theocratic ministry school is the orgs attempt to make people better teachers, in reality all it does is ingrain bad debate habits. Jw’s never discuss a theocratic issue to look for the truth, they are taught by the school to just look at one side of an issue, and never be willing to accept the opposition may have a point. Basically they are taught to attack, evade, and confuse.

  The indoctrination of the school makes most peoples behavior so irritating that many co-workers and non-witness family members do not like talking to them. Somebody who always demands to be right and will not listen to reason is considered a bore. So this lack of outside communication over time erodes the average witnesses ability to actually communicate not only with ‘worldly people’ but most Jw’s seem to have communication problems with other Jw’s. For evidence of this just look at the post on WOL.

  Couple the lack of social skills with the fact that most witnesses have no idea what is going on in the world around them, and you have people that are just as isolated as prisoners. Even if one day they did decide to begin communicating with non-witness they often find they lack the skills (because of the school) and the knowledge (not part of the world) to effectively communicate with anyone.

  This brings me to why I think this site is important it gives witnesses that are leaving, or the isolated ‘square pegs’ that exist in all congregations, the ability to communicate with people that will understand them. As they communicate more they can begin to heal the wounds the organization caused, and learn to communicate more honestly and effectively. I know that I have to watch myself when I am posting because sometimes when people say something I do not agree with my first response is to attack, if someone makes a post that is a strong, logical rebuttal to mine my first reactions is to not think if he has a point but just to attack his logic, and this is the societies teaching still ingrained in me that I must weed out.

  Jelly
• 

  waiting

  Hey Jelly,

  Good points. I never thought of the Theocratic Ministry School with that viewpoint in mind. But we were never taught to debate - or to actually listen to another's viewpoint, unless it was to find the flaw and turn him to our viewpoint.

  But to discuss, argue, even loose a point or two was not the purpose - to convert was the purpose. We were taught to think quickly, and to really not listen to the other person's viewpoint, except on how we could change their views to our views.

  Thanks again.

  waiting
• 

  jelly

  Thanks for the reply waiting. I would like to hear other peoples view point on this also, do you think the society intentionally aleinates its members so they have greater difficulty leaving? As for myself I am not sure if its intentional of just an unforseen byproduct of thier beliefs.
  Jelly
• 

  Gopher

  Jelly,

  I think ALL the meetings have something to do with it. In the Theo. Ministry School, except for the sister's talks, the presentations were monologues with no room for debate. IN the sister's talks, they only had 5 minutes, so there would only be room to demonstrate a "stock" objection, which can be easily overcome.

  In the question-and-answer meetings, the object is to drill us with the main points of each paragraph. Say it in your own words, but stick to the point!

  It seems that your second point, the extreme 'no part of the world' stance has a whole lot to do with JW's alienation.

  You said "most Witnesses have no idea what's going on outside". I remember one circuit overseer encouraged us to read newspapers so as to have topics for discussion in the ministry. (I guess the sub-theme was, "don't look so ignorant out there!".) I was and still am an avid newsreader, but I think I was always looking to put a JW/"Kingdom" spin on the news as I was reading it.

  But mainly it was the indoctrination that "the people are evil" or could be. After all, just look at how bad the world is getting? So you must avoid the people, except to try to turn every mundane conversation into a Witnessing opportunity (without drawing strange looks). If you had any friends outside, it was implied that such friends should be abandoned.

  So later, there is nothing or nobody to "go to". So, in theory anyways, you're stuck!

  Gopher, trying to improve my "social skills"
• 

  Scorpion

  You nailed it Gopher.

  What you said about the circuit overseer telling you to read news papers so as to have a topic of discussion for the ministry. A few of the elders in the congregation I went to told us the same thing. I picked up a news paper at a University in 1989 and on the front page was two individuals, a man and his wife, Large picture and all explaining why they left the Watchtower Society.

  Guess what? I read the article and went to the KH library to look up a few things in the article. I then had a meeting with two elders and presented this article to them. Well, needless to say, I was booted out of the WT in 1989. There were a few more things that led up to this but it would take to long to tell you all of it. I am GLAD I am out.

  Now I am an evil apostate that is controlled by Satan. LOL
• 

  Gopher

  Jelly: Scorpion's reply gives proof of the BENEFITS of this forum. As you stated in the last paragraph of your post, we can communicate with each other here and really understand where the other folks are coming from! We can be honest, we can even be sarcastic. We can sense the feelings of our friend Scorpion, who says "Now I am an evil apostate...controlled by Satan"!

  Scorpion: I think we're in a spiritual paradise here, mainly because of all the peaceful animals. There's you, there's me, there's a couple of bears. Why even Fred Hall this morning said he was a foxy cat with a fuzzy tail!

  LOL, Gopher

  Edited by - Gopher on 21 March 2001 3:56:4
• 

  Scorpion

  Gopher,

  You crack me up! Peaceful animals, spiritual paradise. ROTF

  Maybe this is the kind of new light the WT is looking for.