My Watchtower experience .......
I came out of the watchtower approx 4 years ago and so did my husband and younger son who at the time was an un-baptised publisher. Hubby and myself were baptised. Eldest son baptised but living away from home and just went cold.
My whole time in there I questioned it, much to the irritation of those dealing with me. At first I was convinced it was the truth. After all they called it the truth, what brainwashing/auto suggestion is that? Then as I watched them all, I saw a bunch of people who were always so nicely dressed and always out giving their time to others and totally focused on Gods word, this must be the truth I thought. The cherry on the top for me, was the way they ran down the churches all the time, *Babylon the Great* they were always saying. So I figured, they really must be perfect and the most acceptable to God, or they wouldnt be pointing fingers all the time at the churches. I really did believe they were perfect, because until I was baptised, I only saw this side of them. But as time went on and I got deeper and deeper into it all and got baptised, I started to see the cracks. This worried me, because I thought, if they are not perfect, then why are they more acceptable to God? Or is some sin ok to God and some not?
Apart from seeing young kids, one from the age of three months, belted all the time for opening their mouths in long boring services (one congregation I went to, was asked to do the hitting at home as they were concerned the neighbors would hear all the crying and wonder what the hell was going on, child abuse at church?) I started to see other things that for me, showed the watchtower is no better than any other religion, and in many ways worse, because it breaks up families without a doubt and I will never believe this is what God wants.
Before I got involved with the Watchtower, I was desperately seeking the true religion when this lot came to my door. Good old Satan sent us a couple that we got on well with and this is what influenced us a lot to join. The husband was an elder. During his time of studying with us, he bought a German Shepherd puppy off me. I felt a bit reluctant to sell it to him as I knew it would never be allowed in his house and wondered about the life it would have. But I consoled myself with the fact that they were Gods people and would certainly care for the dog properly. They lived on a small holding and raised sheep. This all took place in South Africa incidently. One day I got a call from the wife to say the dog had killed a lamb and the hubby would not be impressed when he got home. I said please dont hit the dog, it is too young to understand and you may break its spirit. I explained it should not have access to the sheep. But the dog had grown up running amongst the sheep with the children. The dog at this stage was 6 months old. I got another call later to say, the husband had *lambased* the dog with the sheeps carcus and that hopefully this would sort it out. I said I doubt it and would happily refund the money and take back the dog. Three weeks later another call to say, second sheep attack and husband had caught it in the act and had gone and sat on the dog and punched it with his fists. Then dragged it through the paddocks to the house to get the choke chain and lead. He had then yanked the dog over a fence cutting its throat with the choke chain whilst it howled the place down and then tied it to a large adult sheep for the whole day in the hot sun. When he came home and released the dog, it collapsed on the driveway with exhaustion and dehydration (as it had been too scared to drink all day in this situation), and remained there till morning. I was told I could take it back at this stage. I did. After that, every time they came for the study to our house, the dog ran to the chap to greet him out of pure obedience/subjection and would wee all over the floor. He had done a good job of breaking its spirit. Anyway, I was disgusted but hid my feelings (as a matter of interest, I was breeding working dogs with strong temperaments, just shows the brutality he inflicted on this dog to break it like this. The dog eventually went to the police, who after assessing him, confirmed his spirit had been broken, but that they could use him fortunately).
But later when there was another incidence of brutal animal abuse with another baptised *brother*, I heard the elder who studied with me, had agreed with the abuser that what he did was correct (in this case, dog killing chickens). They dont take into account that the dogs and chickens/sheep were not properly kept in order to prevent these attacks. But the fact that the elder agreed with this other idiot, showed me he was not repentant about what he did to the pup I sold him, and no amount of *reasoning from the scriptures* about how to treat Jehovahs creation made any difference. In fact this elder was quite hostile towards me by now for using the scriptures on him! So, now I was seeing, Jehovahs people lacked compassion and were deffinately not slow to anger, lacked self control etc etc. Still I tried to look past it, as I was told by some sister, if you love Jehovah, there is no stumbling block (she was quoting scripture here), so I tried not to be stumbled. Even when I heard of another *sister* drowning a litter of kittens she did not want! Blatant swearing also by another brother stumbled me, but it was allowed as he had come a long way in his time in the organisation I was told.
I was then lent a tape to listen to, called *The tested quality of your faith*. It was very good until I came to the part about the Russian spy! This did it for me! It said that the organisation was under ban in the area at the time. This chap was appointed to infiltrate the organisation and expose it. He did this over several years apparently. Under false pretences, he rose from baptism to ministerial servant, elder, congregation overseer, circuit overseer all the different levels of *rank*, and then he exposed the organisation. Now my problem with this was, I had enquired how an elder is chosen. I was told by Jehovahs spirit. When I asked how, they said a brother would not be able to display the qualities required for that position without Jehovahs spirit. This being the case, I wondered how in the world this Russian spy had pulled it all off?? I then figured, if he could, who else has?? I wondered how we were supposed to trust and accept the guidance of elders when some of them were very possibly *wolves in sheeps clothing*. I constantly questioned the 1914 teaching, especially considering my mother was born in 1914, she was my yard stick, though as I came to understand it, it was the generation that *saw* the beginning of the end, so that would make them even older than my mom because she was a new born baby in 1914! So those that *saw* the beginning, are pretty much dead and gone now arent they? So wheres Armageddon? Did God make an error when he delivered this teaching to them? Obviously they never heard from God in the first place! Also my queries about the spy were not dealt with properly by the head quarters when an elder sent in my query, it was brushed off with some pathetic explanation about false prophets deceiving even the chosen ones or something. No explanation of how the *brother* (spy) got through the net without Jehovahs spirit. And calling themselves a prophet (watchtower, April 1, 1972) and giving false prophesies that never came to pass, 1914 being one of them .. Yet God states at Deut. But a prophet who presumes to speak in my name anything I have not commanded him to say .. must be put to death. You may say to yourselves, How can we know when a message has not been spoken by the Lord? If what a prophet proclaims in the name of the Lord does not take place or come true, that is a message the Lord has not spoken. That prophet has spoken presumptuously. Do not be afraid of him. I guess the reasons why it is not the truth are endless!
When due to ill health, I could not keep up with all the meetings and field service, they distanced themselves from me, must have been viewed as bad association. I realised one day how isolated I had become. They kept away from me, but I was not supposed to mix with the world. One day my daughter who was about 8 at the time, came home and said another JW child had said she was going to tell on her for singing songs about Jesus in assembly. This really got my back up, I thought why cant she, after all he died for us didnt he? It started to all seem so wrong. Eventually I thought to hell with them, they are deffinately a cult, there is no love in the organisation like they brag about what they show is a false type of love, out of fear and obedience to the WT!
So I disassociated myself and so did my husband. We did this instead of just going cold, as we wanted to make a statement to the congregation, because if we had just gone cold, we felt it would have made us look like failures, and that wasnt the case. We no longer believed we had the truth and wanted them all to know. We have NEVER looked back. I was disgusted to notice sometime after we left, that a sign went up at the Kingdom hall where we use to attend, saying protected by armed forces. Crime in the area had got very bad and so they had employed the services of *the world* (a security company) to protect the hall and the flat upstairs where a JW couple lived as care takers. My question was, whose hands would the blood have been on if the armed forces had come to their defence and shot an intruder? Especially in view of the fact, when I was still in the organisation, active policemen and women could not get baptised whilst they carried a gun! Do they really believe God will punish the worldly ones for protecting them on their instructions? Hypocrites!
After leaving, we became Born Agains and got baptised in a wonderful Charasmatic service with about 300 people present. They sung the song My redeemer lives and I shall never forget it. Gosh it was so jovial in comparrison to their boring piano songs. In the Watchtower, Jesus yoke seemed sooo heavy, as a Born again, it is light, just as he said it would be. I still have spiritual problems though that I need to work on.
My friend disassociated soon after me. But before she did, they policed her like you cannot believe. If she came to visit me, she would park her car else where and I had to collect her. I told her I was not prepared to do this for long, as though I didnt mind doing it for her, I was not going to be controlled by the W/T like this. They warned her to stay away from me, saying that I was a very dangerous apostate, hilarious I thought. I cant bare to hurt a fly! Now she tells me, her daughter has just got married to a JW and she (my friend) was not allowed at the reception, only the service, where they all shunned her. She said her daughter was torn between the organisation and her mom, and she found the whole thing very sad and un-christianly. Thats really what they are, *unchristianly*, they just cant see it!
Edited by - Tzu on 5 September 2002 19:59:38
Edited by - Tzu on 5 September 2002 20:2:25