Need Advice

Vitameatavegamin

Hi friends!

I have to say that the past year and a half I have come a long way as far as the old feelings of guilt for being inactive.

But, at times I still find myself having that nagging doubt, that maybe I am in disfavor with God. I guess maybe it is hard to break the

ties after so many years. It is really hard on me though, my parents and brothers have little to nothing to do with me, even tho

I am not Df'd or anything, they still act as if I am the plague! It really bothers me to think they disapprove of us so much for not

being at the Kingdom Hall. We don't even speak anymore because of it. I never asked for it to be this way, nor did I want it that way.

But, I suppose they are making their choice. I don't understand to this day how a religion can keep you from your family, and all

in the name of "Jehovah". I guess he is smiling down with approval on all of these people who are needlessly ignoring non-JW

family. What can I do to get past this part? Have any of you experienced this just for being inactive? Please let me know-I need

advice. Thanks so much!

joannadandy

That nagging doubt will hang with you for a long time, especially when you have friends and family sobbing at your certain demise, and making "Jehovah cry" and all that tripe.

I've been out two years (not that much further along than you) And recently I have had a revelation of sorts--religion is a joke! Hahaha! I know that won't help. And I do totally understand. I have my moments too. I am weak, I waver. One moment I say "what crapolla" and then a news story about the India building warheads makes me say "Holy crap-Save me Jeebus!" But I can shake those feeling of guilt, fear, etc. quicker now...

Have faith-or rather don't, whatever works!

Hang in there, if you ever want to talk more, my e-mail is open...

FiveShadows

Vitameatavegamin I know how you feel...i was inactive from september of 99 to a month ago befor ei was disfellowshiped without a trial like so many other people on this board. The fact remains is that God does not approve of the jw's commanding people to shun their family members due to lack of meeting attendance, inactivity OR disfellowshipment. In the times of Israelites...they did the same thing...and any elder would agree that today's "Organization of God" is the Jehovah's Witnesses and the Israelite preist are the elders...and moses the governing body...but the refuse to acknowledge Ez 45:9 where Jah specifically said to those israelites and against is saying today...to stop the expropiation (disfellowshiping) thing...They still do not listen. Jah has removed his peace from these people. I know where you're coming from about the pain that you feel in regards your family shunning you...know that you are not alone...and i too have experienced this as many others as well. I hope you feel better..and over come this and your family understands what they are doing and come to their senses. As anyone else can agree...this website does help ...you make new friends and are able to voice your opinion about anything. i hope to see more of your comments in a more happier state. ~FS

metatron

Your guilt is a habit of your thinking, not a product of any logic.

I had an elderly relative who was absolutely zealous and faithful from the
days of Judge Rutherford onward. She got bone cancer and they just pumped
morphine in her til she died in poverty.

A couple elders 'round here have slowly agonizingly died from odd lung diseases.

Then, I was stabbed in the back by decade long Witness 'friends' who talked
my daughter into remaining silent about being molested.

What guilt do I feel? Little and none. Their system of righteousness brings
endless trials , false rewards, and false friends.

More than that, if Almighty God has a problem with me, he is free to communicate
with me at any time, day or night, and I'll listen and obey. If he really
exists as a person and can do anything, why is a Bible good for anything?
Just tell me what you want!

If I am mean to someone, I feel bad, make corrections and move on, period.

metatron

cruzanheart

I know it's hard for you Vitameatavegimin (that was my FAVORITE Lucy episode too, by the way!), especially with the reminders from your family of what you have given up. I go through that periodically too - we have a couple of friends who have made it their sacred mission to get us back to meetings and it's really annoying. But think about why you left and how bad you feel if you try to even think about going back. Listen to what your body is telling you and realize you are doing the right thing for YOU. My feelings of guilt and fear were so bad when I decided to stop going to the meetings that I beat feet to a therapist, and she is a great help. She told me that it's not healthy for a person to have only one support system in their lives, as the Witnesses would have us do, because if that is taken away we are adrift. So I am working to cultivate a lot of little support groups - neighbors, workmates, PTA - instead of relying on one big one. Therapy has really worked for me - it gives me a totally objective place to vent and when I have to explain the abusive religious system I left it puts into perspective just how warped it is.

Hang in there!

Nina

Vitameatavegamin

Your comments are really encouraging, thank you! I know it will probably take time for some of these old feelings to fade. When I

do look back at my years as a JW, I remember what I went through and then my stomach turns. I guess it is just hard to get past

all the years of mind control, hard to break the chains. This forum is very encouraging and I appreciate all the input.

Looking forward to more!

Vita

Big Tex

Taken in
Taken in again Wrapped around the finger
Of some fair weather friends Caught up in the promises
Left out in the air
No surprise
Taken for a ride

Taken In, Mike & The Mechanics

AuntieJane

I think you're doing GREAT! Just remind yourself that God cannot be happy with those that teach distorted biblical "truths"....that he cannot be happy with the shunning of family and friends....that he IS happy that you chose to step out of such a hurtful organization .

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