DF and Tell? Or Not?

by dobby 3 Replies latest jw friends

  • dobby
    dobby

    It occurred to me over the weekend that my husband and I are in a unique position.

    We moved to a different state and congregation a year ago. We made the mistake (at the time we were still trying to be good dubs) of attending the new congregation for a couple of months and sending for our publisher cards. Wish we would have just faded, oh well.

    We have become inactive and the new congregation hasn't tried to track us down, I think because we were not there long enough to make friends, however that changed this weekend and sure enough we got a voice mail from an elder who claims we have been assigned to his book study. Damn those publisher card, we are still "on the books".

    I have a question to pose to the board. If we get DF'd in this congregation, no one will know in our old congregation, is this correct? And if they don't tell our old hall, the new congregation doesn't know any of our friends or relatives in our old congregation so our old congregation may never find out we are DF'd.

    What would you do? If you got DF'd and none of your friends or relatvies knew, would you keep it a secret? Unless of course they asked you out right - I would probably tell. The truth is, if I get DF'd I don't think of it as a significant event in my life. I would just laugh in the elder's face and go on with my life. I wouldn't feel motivated to tell anyone because it holds no power over me. I know that it would be important to several of our friends, they would shun us if they knew. Should I tell them out of respect for their feelings, or just let it go? Truthfully, I have been distancing myself from JW friends anyway just because we don't have anything in common anymore. I realize I am starting over trying to find new friends.

    Any thoughts?

  • Lin
    Lin

    Sorry to be the one to tell ya, but it wouldn't be kept secret at all. You're on record in X amount of hall(s), and the info would be passed on. The grapevine travels fast.

  • freedom96
    freedom96

    Best way to avoid all this crap is just to fade away, and become "spiritually weak" to your old friends. I only have a small handfull of friends that I kept from the witness days, and we just don't talk about it. I am not df'd, nor did I personally feel the need to DA myself.

  • voltaire
    voltaire

    If you move to another congregation, the new secretary will ask for a letter from your old hall (where you were disfellowshippped) You could have a friend pretend to be the secretary and send a letter of introduction, but it should be realistic.

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