I was browsing through the old H20 Board (A JW Board for Reform) and I stumbled over several post re: Child Abuse issues. Amazing how this has always been an issue. Thank Goodness the time has come for some major changes! Anyway, here are some comments I thought you would be interested in. One caveat - The quotes can be very emotional, I know it was for me.
http://geocities.com/h002b/2877.html
Posted on October 20, 1996 at 18:10:28:
"The last year has reveiled lots of criminals in the Jehovah's Witnesses congregations, and the Norwegian newspapers has been filled with stories about the Watchtower hiding pedophiliacs. It is a fact that in the closest family to one of the top-guns in the local Watchtower Branch Office in Enebakk, Oslo, there has been people like that. Also protected by the Watchtower. One of them convicted - but..... It seems that there will be plenty of interesting things to come, showing the true face of the Watchtower."
Posted on October 22, 1996 at 00:57:49:
"Sex abuse is nothing new in this organization.I was raised in one congregation for the first 19 years of my life. when I was 12 or 13, I was molested by one of the "brothers". although I did not know it at that time, several other girls were also molested. when it finally came to the elders attention a few months later, they did not want to believe any of us girls. But since so many were telling the same story, they had no choice but to take action, namely the disfellowshiping of the "brother". After about 3 years, he was let back into the congregation and we had to treat him as tho nothing had happened - that was real easy (not). Then about a year after that, one of the girls was in therapy when she told her story. Her therapist called the police - something that should have been done in the first place! So when the police contacted my parents to see if I would make a statement, we went downtown. It was hard and scary but I felt as tho a huge weight had been lifted from me. You see, during that whole time, I was never offered any counselling by the elders or had any one of them actually admit that they took me seriously. I know the did not believe any of us. But as soon as the elders found out that we had talked to the police, they certainly did react! We got a stern "talk" during the service meeting about going against the congregations decisions on matters handled internally by going to the police. Of course those who had no knowledge of the actual situation did not understand the significance of this brow beating, but I did. we were basically being told that the decisions of the elders were not to be questioned or made public outside of the congregation. SHAME ON ME! SHAME ON ALL OF US!! At that time in my life, being only about 17 or 18, and very impressionable, it was not a good time to be chastised for trying to protect not only myself but also our dear "brother's" own children, and
possibly other kids. needless to say, by the time I was 19, I could no longer go to meetings regularly because I felt that weight again. This time I felt like the hypocracy of that situation was making me crazy. I felt dirty and ashamed. Like, how dare I "tell on one of our brothers." Unworthy, unimportant. Why bother. Now that I am 31 years old, I can finally put words to the feelings I was having then. I did talk to the presiding overseer about this situation about 4 years ago. Don't you know they still stand by that appalling decision they made so many years ago. All I can do is shake my head. I have tried really hard to get beyond all of this. I think for the most part I have. But not yet to the point where I can feel comfortable going back. I was betrayed by my own "family". Try getting over that."
Posted on October 22, 1996 at 12:27:48:
"This is a classic example of what the elders are told to write in on the side of thier elders manuels. They are told to not call the police and if there is a matter that gets to be know say by a professional who is a witness they are asked to tell the elders and then told not to call the cops. What are they so afraid of? Could it be that they don't want the masses to know that they are just as imperfect as other churches? My sister-in-law was molested by her elder step father. She and all her brothers and sisters. What do the elders do. Nothing but remove him from the body of elders. (actually they gave him the choice of stepping down). What is happening with him today? Last I heard he was on his way to becoming an elder again. What kind of justice is this? Nobody knows anything about what he did.
Posted on October 22, 1996 at 15:41:54:
" I've always felt that this aspect of the 'two witnesses' rule is applied flatly to christendom, but not to jws: one child's word will not be taken as enough evidence for action, yet with (for instance) the catholic church, in some cases this is the same evidence that is presented...the wts gladly criticizes the cath church for not taking action quickly enough in these cases, yet they themselves won't, in similar wt cases... if a person is a witness AND a professional and they 1) tell the elders about a confidential matter they are breaking the very strict code of ethics of the APA (american psychological association) and they are 2) in most states required by LAW to report abuse of any kind to authorities...."
" (yep, I'm coming 'out' for this one) thank you for sharing your experience...it probably took a lot of courage....you are definitely NOT alone with this experience...many who have been molested and/or battered have suffered similar reactions....(yes, I'm sure SOME elders have done the right thing, but the other reaction as described here is all too common, too; as you can tell by these expressions the effects just don't 'go away'...asking a molest victim to treat a 'brother' normally after a short period of time of dfing, then reinstatement is raping her/him all over again)... "
"Currently, if any case involves abuse, the legal department is supposed to be contacted for direction. The direction is that we comply with the law, better if the individual confesses to the legal authorities on their own bat, but if they don't then arrangements are made to insure that the authorities are informed. Eighteen or nineteen years ago it may not have been as clear, but there are now very definite written instructions on the absolute necessity of involving the legal department in the matter. This in no way excuses the actions of the brothers involved in this case."
"You make metion of definate improvement and clearer instructions, is this in an elders manual? How does it say to deal with the victims? Aren't they the biggest issue, perhaps it's long past time to start showing the sympathy and Christian love to these people at the time when they need it most instead of trying to lay blame on them, the victim is NEVER to blame ( esp in the case of pediphilia). What a horrible, faith testing time they must go through, this is when they need us most!"
"I wanted to thank all those who responded to my message of (jw/sex abuse).I have been doing some more poking around in this website, and have found quite a few interesting things. It seems a lot has changed since I disassociated myself from the Cong. in 1984. I was taught not to question any of the teachings or rulings. But this Site has opened up a whole new perspective of the JW's for me. Even tho my mother and sister are still very active in the Truth, I tend to just shine them on whenever they want to get into "discussions" with me. I think that by continuing my visits here, I can delve deeper into some of the questions I have and get objective viewpoints. fyi - the brother (abuser) in my situation never did admit to any wrongdoing, but was reinstated "for the spiritual health of his own family." That is what was explained to me. He underwent no counselling, was never arrested. In response to a question posed about whether I thought the abuser should be allowed back in - I must concur with another visitor here who replied that a truly repentant person who has undergone extensive counselling and who is constantly supervised by specific persons w/i the cong. to deter future attacks, should not be denied reinstatement. But I also feel that an apology to the victims and their families, in writing, would not be out of line. Ten years after the fact, an - "oops, sorry. We screwed up on that one." - doesn't really cut it for me personally. Jehovah will read our hearts in the end.
" the brother (abuser) in my situation never did admit to any wrongdoing, but was reinstated "for the spiritual health of his own family." What the heck does THAT mean?
I am amazed at your faith. I know of a few others whose abusers were NEVER even disfellowshipped and who are active today. One of the victims had a nervous breakdown, eventually turned to drugs to relieve his pain, and was and is still disfellowshipped. His slipping spiritually was when he met his perp and the perp had the nerve to put his arm around him and say "Hello, X".
Peace - LL
Edited by - Larry on 10 September 2002 19:27:13