Mimilly and Joy,
I am sitting at my desk at work, and the radio is recounting what happened one year ago today. I remember my supervisor coming into my office and laughing, saying "some fool just flew his little plane into one of the WT Center Buildings". Only seconds later, did I hear the announcement of what really happened on my radio. Everyone gathered around. There would be minimal accomplishments that day. No one could consentrate.
I had the most unsettling feeling that morning. I remember thinking, "this can't be happening", and then the second plane hit, and tears began to fall from my eyes and I knew the great magnitude of what had occured. The Judges here in our Circuit Court were ordering special TV receivers to be put up, so they could get total communication. Within a few minutes, the Court was in "alert status", as the two buildings fell, and the Pentagon was hit. Because they kept saying on the news that a commercial airliner was circling our area here, we were frightened beyond belief. (Later we learned that this flight was the one that crashed in PA----so very close, so close.) Everyone said that this building would be just as safe as our homes. But, I kept thinking "no, there would be no safe place". They just didn't want us to panic.
We are only minutes from the Pentagon and Washington DC.
I thought that if we were hit I would never see my family again, and I tried to call my husband. He answered and no one in his office knew anything about this. Amazing. He told me it was probably a rumor, and I told him to gather everyone around and turn his radio on and be prepared to hear something horrible.
Later, he called me back and his voice was shaking. He said that our local government here was already in "Crisis Mode". Immediately, support personnel were being dispatched to the Pentagon, and others were headed to NY--Fire and Emergency wanted to do all they could.
On that day, everything changed and would never be the same again. A fear welled up inside me that is difficult to explain. The skies here, normally swelled with air traffic for the National, Dulles and Baltimore Airports were totally vacant. For days it stayed that way. Then I remember the morning they opened Dulles, I was in the parking lot of a grocery store, and when a large plane went over, everyone stopped dead in their tracks, and looked upward.
I sensed that we were getting the feelings that people had in WWII, when bombers ruled the skies in Europe and people were always on the alert for the unexpected.
This event was a real turning point for me personally. We lost many local people to the Pentagon destruction, as well as the family members of others who were working in the WTC. My daughter inlaw has family living right next to ground zero. They saw everything from a distance and were safe. It was very traumatic to be so close to so much destruction and loss of life and feel so helpless, so powerless.
During this past year, I finally resolved all my old issues with guilt and damage due to the affects of the WTBTS in my life, and I moved forward. In January, this year, I had an epiphany. I have spoken of this event in my posts elsewhere. I can tell you that I am definitely not the same person. I've changed for the better. No matter what happens in reality, with world situations and unforseen events, I hope to have the strength to carry on.
And, yet another anniversary marked this date. The suicide of my first husband in 1984.
Love and Light to All,
Sentinel/Karen
