Do some people love trauma and tragedy?

by kenpodragon 8 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  kenpodragon

  I have never considered myself to be full of a bunch of trauma and tragedy. At least when I compare it to some.

  Have you ever known the type of people though, that always have something new happening that is traumatic. You know the type, if it isn't a sick child it is a argument. Then they always have a possibility of disease in them, or someone they know. Everything offends them, so no matter what they are depressed and ready to argue. No one agrees with their thinking, so no matter what they are always on the opposing side ... even though their views tend to change at times to keep their track record negative.

  I had a employee like this once. In the time she worked for me, one year, she never had a moment of peace. She used all of her sick leave in one month, had her kids in the doctors office monthly and it never failed that she was upset with me. The day I fired her, my wife and I went out and celebrated with a dinner. For her, it was just "one more thing!"

  Do you know the type? Do you see them online at times too? If so, what do you think of them. Do you try to help them, only to be frustrated that they always have some new problem to replace the one you fixed. With them hating you anyway, and starting rumors about you to get into another battle they thrive for.

  What do you think?

  Just wondering

  Dragon
• 

  wednesday

  u are describing a classic textbook boderline personality.they are not schiz-but they live on edge of bing psychotic. Small things trip them over-in the medical community there is what is called 'boderline bashing" and many medical people hate them because they are difficult to help. Only by building a trusting reltionship with a therapist (because they would exhasut a friend) can any help come to them. They truly suffer.
• 

  kenpodragon

  Oh, I know they suffer. I just do not want to suffer with them to the point that my life is in a mess. I tend to stay away and erase them from my life. I know they will be upset, but it's like putting down a 100lb back pack. You feel lighter and more able to move.

  Take Care

  Dragon
• 

  Valis

  greetigs Kenpo...I run into this all the time with my students. The eternal excuses as to why they cannot attend class or why they cannot turn in work etc....it gets old. It also gets old online, especially when its the same people doing it over and over again. Online and Rt I look at it several ways, all of which could apply to either case.

  Online

  1. The person is generating drama or fabricating it for attention..probably lonely and thinks they have few friends..

  2. The person is really making a call for help...I prefer to give most the benefit of the doubt myself and assume this one first.

  3. The person is trolling.

  In Real Time

  1. The person cannot live without some crisis...usually a control freak that must bring others into thier own drama.

  2. They have lived around such people so long that confrontation and drama are second nature.

  3. They have no life.

  4. They have a genuine need for help, which I try my best to step up and help.

  Everyone has moments of crisis and I'm glad I can come here and tell my woes when necessary, like my recent camera incident, however its never a good thing when someone comes up w/a new trauma or drama every day. It gets old and become obvious very fast.

  Sincerely,

  District Overbeer of the "crisis free" class
• 

  xenawarrior

  Yes Wedsnesday, this is common with Borderlines. The constant chaos. It is also a very classic trait of Narcissistic Personality Disorder as well- which in many instances is co-morbid with BPD as well.

  This type of behavior is also visible in those who aren't necessarily suffering from a personality disorder at all- the Drama Kings and Queens. Many folks are so accustomed to being the center of attention that they are uncomfortable without it. So the moment that attention wanes in any way, they become uncomfortable and need a crisis with which to regain it.

  I worked with someone like this too Kenpo. If there wasn't a real crisis or some chaos going on in her life, she'd create something. Like the woman you described, she missed work often. I don't know what her deal was- I don't really care- all I know is that her behavior and it's affect on others bugged the shit out of me and so many others in her realm. With this woman, I remember one guy who worked in our office telling me that I was being insensitive to her because I wouldn't react to every little thing that came up. I became numb to her constant problems and complaints. She brought a negativity into the air that I made my mission to erase. GRRRR. Eventually, like your ChaosQueen, ours was eliminated too. To us, it felt like someone had taken a piano off our backs.

  And yes, you'll find lots of them on support boards as well.

  XW
• 

  back2dafront

  Reminds me of a beautiful Finnish girl I dated last year. She constantly had bad things going on.

  Her cousin was killed in an auto wreck.

  She was in an auto wreck.

  Her friend got killed in an auto wreck.

  Then she went to the hospital for some sort of blood disorder that had developed. she was sick for a long time.

  Then something else happened that I'll omit, but it was WAY crazy and finding out later, totally fabricated to pull my chain and get money from me. (I think she didn't know how to take being rejected. Looks ain't everything, girlfriend).

  Then she got married - alas! Good news!

  Her husband flew out to Finland to visit her.

  He was killed in an auto wreck upon returning back to San Francisco.

  WHATEVER!!! That girl was CRAZY and I managed to date 3 consecutive ones in a ROW all in the same year!!! Finally, I've scored and will be getting engaged next year.

  thank the LORD cuz I was pretty intent on giving up on the relationship thing.
• 

  omiecoop

  You may call them borderlines, or some other medical term, but where I come from, we call them "high maintenance"!
• 

  Lady Lee

  Possible triggers

  The symptom of addiction to chaos is also a long term effect of any one raised in a highly dysfunctional traumatic home.

  When all a child knows is trauma some learn very well how to deal with it. In fact some will not feel alive unless there is something going on.

  The cycle of abuse plays into this scenario. In most families where there is a lot of abuse there is a well documented cycle that the family/victim goes through. Things may seem really calm and peacefiul for a while. But slowly the abuser gets stressed out raising the level of stress in the home. Then there is the explosion or abuse (could be physical emotional or sexual). After the explosion there is the "honeymoon" phase where peace returns to the situation. After going through the cycle countless times most victims begin to anticipate the explosions often referred to as "walking on eggshells". If this period goes on too long the stress becomes unbearable and many victims learn to trigger the explosion so they can relieve the tension and attain the peaceful state again.

  With therapy a victim can learn how he or she plays into the cycle as a defense mechanism and can choose to leave the abuser and learn new ways to deal with stress. Just leaving the abuser is not enough because life has its own stresses. New coping strategies must replace the cycle that the person has learned.

  Long term abuse teaches these people that good things never last. And because it nevber lasts they have no skills to deal with long term peace and calm. The turmoil in their lives is like an addiction. They have no idea how to function without it. Some people are able to channel it into high stress jobs like paramedics or air traffic controllers. Others just bounce from one trauma to the next.

  Understanding how this works for some people is essential to getting them help.

  Whether the cause is BPD or PTSD or NPD it requires diagnosis and treatment
• 

  mamashel

  Well honestly, maybe i could have a tendany to be one of those people. However, i dont love trama, but in a household of 9 people and a pregnant teenager, there is always some trama, or drama as I would like to put it. I dont thrive off of it, but just recently coming out of the org, it has been really nice to share some of the things i have gone through recently with all my new friends, because the stinkin jw org would have looked at me like i was crazy. But I can understand how peoples problems can weigh heavily on you, but I think that makes you a nice person to care.

  Hope my stories havent been to tragic or traumatizina.

  I was just looking for a place to vent and bitch alittle. lol

  mamashel