why exjws have VEHEMENT disagreements at times

by Cyn 8 Replies latest watchtower medical

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  Cyn

  Just a few thoughts..... I noticed that a lady named CRYSTAL posted her views.....and many people got upset....I did as well....part of me knows that taking responsibilty for my own life is important... and I have tried but also BATTLE all my life....In fact I called to complain about the mail being late JUST today...and the supervisor's name is BATTLE...to which I ( with my anaylytical Bipolar mind ) reacted.......... I thought ," gee I battled allll my life but is could be taken as BATTLE for youe life"..

  ANyway....my ORIGINAL point was about why ex JWs vehemently disagree... I remember wheN I saw and expereinced abuses in the ORG..and when I asked "sisters" and " brothers' for VALIDATION ( AM I right or wrong????? ) some would agree then get frighetend and avoid me Remember how we were warned against MURMURING and how often so as not to APPEAR UNLOVING many people would use inuendoes or roll their eyes OR play any number of mind games......( very loving that)

  expressing Honestly and openly was , for the most part, not safe so I think that many exJWs having been repressed as to FREE expression are more prone to let it all out... and disagree vehemently........

  Just a few thoughts

  Cyn
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  pseudoxristos

  I disagree with all of that.

  Well somebody had to say it.

  pseudo
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  joannadandy

  I have no problem with disagreements. I think they can be used to a healthy end of self-expression, and self-awarness. However I do have a problem with name-calling, and downright dirty behavior from people. They are not just disagreeing, they are lambasting and power tripping. When a disagreement degenerates into an arguement/flame war it's not helping anyone.

  I too disagree with Crystal. I believe in positive thinking, but I don't think it can cure a chemical imbalance (which is what clinical depression is). However, recently I posted something many people disagreed with and was quickly ganged up on and verbally attacked. Not disagreed with, but attacked. I think there is a big difference between constructive criticism, finding flawed reasoning, and just different view points. Some people let their emotions and wounded pride take them too far. So rather than participate in a group attack, which is what I feel it had degenerated to, I just kept my opinion on that subject private.

  Sometimes I think here, with the protection of monitors and a million miles, it is easy to get downright mean and nasty, and that doesn't do anyone any good at all.
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  teenyuck

  I believe that the way we were trained not to question leads us to not only question, but demand proof of anything we don't believe in. This leads to disagreements.

  I don't think Crystal got the type of responses she would have gotten 1-2 months ago. They were much more measured and 'nice.'

  I still think she could write for the Watchtower with that attitude.
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  Introspection

  Well, self expression is one thing, having one's self concept threatened is another. I'm sure there are those that always thought a certain way and they just needed to get out for that to be expressed, but there are others who are confused as to what to think and that inevitably relates to their idea of self. One thing that is worth pointing out here is that the ideas you identify with is not going to be any more accurate because you happen to defend it vigorously, if anything that reveals your own insecurity. To me such reactions will in most cases prove to be a defense mechanism, (after all, very often you don't actually see any reasons why they disagree) not so much having to do with the issue at hand but ultimately because the unknown is a scarey place to be, and it's easier to be up in arms to defend your ideas whether they're true or not rather than face the fact that the simple truth of the matter is you simply don't know. It is more comfortable to believe in some kind of certainty than to question yourself.
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  Introspection

  By the way, just for the record I wasn't thinking specifically of that thread about depression, which is I guess what you are referring to here. I know what the thread is about but I haven't actually bothered to read all of the exchanges between the people. Part of me is tempted to not post this message just to see what kind of conclusions people jump to.. ("Ohhh, he's taking such and such a position on that issue!") I was simply addressing this topic of why people get vehement in disagreements.
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  Beck_Melbourne

  I believe you will find disagreeable people in any community, not just exjw.

  I agree with Teenyuck, the climate here is not as vicious as it used to be, measured and nice responses are so much easier to read.

  Beck
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  Xandria

  I think when someone is being prodded into taking that inner person out and examine what is in there some don't like what they see or they feel threatened by it. The thought of a person making a point that may not be flattering or opposite of the view that you have of yourself can be shattering. Some get highly enraged and lash out, others down play it and some really take it to heart. I have seen many different types of personalities here online.

  Some, I will admit worry me in how they handle their anger towards others. The PURE rage and violence of their outbursts tell me they are struggling with some serious issues. Even I sometimes get angry at a post. But I step back, cool off, vent a few good choice words, and then come back to it and re-read it with attempted objectivity. If I cannot or have steam still coming out of my ears .. I bounce it off my husband who is a good sounding board at times.

  Discussing it helps bring out what is bothering you about a certain post. Sometimes it hit too close to home and others it just someone's blind stabbing at the dark to make a rise come forth from the reader, and some are really thought provoking. As I say, " words placed together to illicit a prescribed response." Those who rabble rouse just to p/o people are people who have the need for attention. ANY attention even if it is the wrong type. So you let it ride.

  Unless the person is actually harming you .. it is just a plea for "LOOK AT ME". When it is a plea for HELP me then that is when attention is needed.

  Xandria
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  QUEENIE

  I question every thing and everybody be they other xJW or never been JWs, etc. I am a real pain in the frigin butt most of the time worldwide !!!I have been self-doctoring my diabetic-blisters going on 8 months now with absolutly no getting better so of course I am lets say depressed as well most of the time with a grin pasted on my face so nobody sees me as being negetive and a :(:(..I finally after my daughter LISA had to play hardball the special shoes and sock were rushed ordered and HOPE of all HOPES are in 4 ME to go and get them TODAY..You should see the gigantic blister on my right leg oh well I slopped a lot of medicine and have both legs bandaged up now all ready for the day which is FRIDAY SEPT 20th and 5:40 AM PST everyone cross yur fingers please...MY GP said to go into the hospital BUT there is a 3 day E.R. waiting list soo I am waiting it out here soo I can keep p with my e-mail, etc..ALL hospitals are full to capacity in this frigin town and my kid LISA is a better cook too if you follow me..anyone want to send me private anything it is / [email protected] HAVE A GOOD DAY YA AL ((((HHUGS)))) now for an extra mood swing pill...XOXOXO