Attack of let go?

by happysunshine 3 Replies latest jw friends

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  happysunshine

  Author	Topic: ?to attack or let go? Read 220 times Be the 1st to rate this thread
  happysunshine Junior Member Posts: 21 Since: Jun 17, 2002 Advertisement Reasoning from the Scriptures With the Jehovah's Witnesses Rhodes, Ron $12.99 $9.48	?to attack or let go? Sep 18, 2002 23:26 Do you think it is better to just live and let live with family that are witnesses, or will not confronting them with their beliefs come back to haunt you? -Wondering
  JG Senior Member United States of America Posts: 57 Since: Jun 4, 2002	Re: ?to attack or let go? Sep 18, 2002 23:34 It's hard to say I'm going thru the same thing with my wife. I have tried to show her things but you can't show anyone anything if they keep their eyes closed. I am trying to go really slow and always do it in a loving manner no more yelling and pleading. I try to show my love as much as possible and let god work it out. I told her a month or so ago Eventually we will believe the exact same thing. It might be a very logn time but it's inevitable. Hang in there Sean
  jjrizo Master Member United States of America Posts: 682 Since: May 28, 2002	Re: ?to attack or let go? Sep 18, 2002 23:46 Even though my wife is inactive its still hard to see her still being a Jw, so I have to hold my tongue with her. If I said what was on my mind it would most likely divide us even more. Jim
  Golden Girl Master Member Posts: 270 Since: Feb 6, 2002	Re: ?to attack or let go? Sep 19, 2002 00:03 Since JW Hubby has been diagnosed wih terminal cancer...I let it go! Sometimes I really have to bite my tongue. Before..I would show him things I got off the computor and showed him in his own literature. Now it doesn't even matter anymore! Funny how some things become so insignificant when major things happen in your life! When his Mom and sister and him all gang up on me and tell me I really need to go back to the hall for his sake...Then I get upset! He sides with them and I feel so all alone. Just about that time one of my kids call and talk to me! That helps bring me back to my sanity! BTW...I had to fill out his JW DPA. They weren't even aware of all the blood fractions they were allowed to take!...Sad isn't it. They believe everything they are told without question. They are so quick to say"NO BLOOD"...and don't even know about all the "Conscience changes Golden Girl...aka...Snoozy
  kelsey007 Senior Member Posts: 59 Since: Jul 8, 2002	Re: ?to attack or let go? Sep 19, 2002 05:22 LET GO! My mother- only remaining member of my family is still a JW. At 78 it is the only social life she knows. I make a few comments but do not work to dampen her spirit. Being an EX JW should only mean that the religion was not for you- As far as I am concerned ALL organized religion are cultist to various degrees. Some people just plain need that kind of structure in their lives....
  Navigator Senior Member United States of America Posts: 57 Since: Jun 5, 2002	Re: ?to attack or let go? Sep 19, 2002 08:10 I vote with Kelsey! Relationships are too important to lose over a difference in religious beliefs. Your loving acceptance of them as a person regardless of their beliefs is an example of unconditional love which refutes the "conditional love" theology of the WTS. That doesn't mean, however, that you have to give up your own beliefs. I am deeply in love with my JW wife of 44 years, but would not set foot in a Kingdom Hall except for a funeral of one of our closest friends.
  pettygrudger Master Member United States of America Posts: 221 Since: Oct 8, 2001	Re: ?to attack or let go? Sep 19, 2002 08:55 I have to agree with Kelsey - my mother is 61 & so brainwashed, that even though I would love to argue it out with her, and used to, I know now this is the life she chose, over her own children, and she will die with this religion; I personally see her as such a frightened, uptight individual, causing her doubts at this stage in her life (1st stages of alzheimers) could cause irrevokable damage; I know how long it took me to get over (if I'm there) the JW life, I think it would be cruel to cause that suffering in her - she doesn't have long enough to reap the benefits on the other side of the struggle.
  scootergirl Master Member United States of America Posts: 435 Since: Jun 2, 2002	Re: ?to attack or let go? Sep 19, 2002 08:58 My vote.......let it go. I don't want them preaching to me, so I don't preach to them. Plain and simple.
  buffy Junior Member United States of America Posts: 21 Since: Jun 1, 2002	Re: ?to attack or let go? Sep 19, 2002 09:51 You said it Scootergirl!! I'm df'd and my active JW mother still talks to me on occasion. I'd rather have her talk to me alittle than not at all, so I choose to keep my mouth shut and keep the peace. Buffy
  Xander Jedi Member United States of America Posts: 1641 Since: Feb 15, 2002	Re: ?to attack or let go? Sep 19, 2002 10:41 I don't want them preaching to me, so I don't preach to them. You know, if it actually worked that way, it might be worth letting go. Unfortunately, they are brainwashed to NEVER let it go. They will ALWAYS complain about your lack of faith, how close the end is, try pushing literature down your throat, etc, until the day they die or leave the org. Case in point! Since JW Hubby has been diagnosed wih terminal cancer....his Mom and sister and him all gang up on me and tell me I really need to go back to the hall for his sake...He sides with them. Lovely! Termincal cancer and the brainwashing is still so ingrained, he thinks of his religion first over his wife. ------------ See, THAT's what makes me hate them. THAT's why I won't give up. Until they are 'out' - no matter HOW much you love them. No matter HOW much you care or HOW dire their situation is....you are nothing but bird food to them until you start going back to meetings. That's disgusting. (Edit to add opinion bit: I fear that if you are 'okay' with this, you are in denial about what they really think of you.) Edited by - Xander on 19 September 2002 10:42:56
  detective Master Member Posts: 568 Since: Jul 31, 2001	Re: ?to attack or let go? Sep 19, 2002 10:57 Let it go until...what?!? They die as a result of forgoing a potentially life saving blood transfusion? This will always be a risk- as long as they are members or consider it to be the truth. Of course, you might not even be faced with this, so I suppose it's a just a worst case scenario. But in the meantime... they are out attempting to convert others to this "religion". They are out trying to convince others to join up and possibly...maybe someday have those converts forgo a potentially life saving blood transfusion- or worse yet, deny their children such treatment. I'm as torn as the next person on how to deal with this. I really don't know what the best thing is to do. But heaven forbid my beloved gets into a car accident and requires blood, I also don't want to know that I never spoke up either. So, I can hope that I never face that situation but there's no guarantee. I really am unsure as to the best way to proceed. But I do feel as if I might be able to help in a larger sense by seeing that my loved one gets free and doesn't attempt to enslave others. Ultimately, I feel like I can let them go on merrily, but what of the others they are misinforming? I don't know what to either. I just don't know.
  mamashel Senior Member Posts: 93 Since: Aug 14, 2002	Re: ?to attack or let go? Sep 19, 2002 11:00 It really depends on how they would react to it. Maybe share alittle at a time, and see what the reaction will be, then take it from there. Most jw's that you try to talk to though it is like beating a dead horse. Good luck mamashel
  BadJerry Junior Member Posts: 29 Since: Aug 19, 2002	Re: ?to attack or let go? Sep 19, 2002 11:57 Argue or debate is just a waste of time........that won't change anything. On the other hand, planning, plotting, conspiring and de-programming, that to me is the only way to proceed. Takes work and imagination to level-set the playing field, but that's what I did! And, we are ALL out. BadJerry
  scootergirl Master Member United States of America Posts: 435 Since: Jun 2, 2002	Re: ?to attack or let go? Sep 19, 2002 11:59 xander wrote: you are in denial about what they really think of you I know all too well what they think of me.......but that is okay. Cause what they think of me doesn't matter anymore. I am happy and that is all that matters. There is a time to let go and that time is now for me. ~Christy (of the "finally at peace" class)
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  DJ

  My parents and siblings are still dubs. I have finally been able to have communication with them for the past year. Prior to that I was basically shunned. My father is 72 and was diagnosed with brain cancer last year. When he was diagnosed, I felt the same way as Golden Girl does now. I have been able to have this past year with him and wouldn't trade it for the world. I kept my mouth shut when I was spewed with their false teachings and threats to come back to the 'truth'. I've assisted my family in every way possible because I love them and did not want to be shunned again. I have a deep love for my dad and I'm devastated by his illness. He is doing well now but this type of brain tumor recurs and most likely he will die from it. He may have anywhere from one month to live or he may live another year. The doctors do not hold out much hope.

  I love my dad with all of my heart and always have. He is a very special man to me and extremely loveable by all. However, after reading the transcript of the Sunday show from Australia that Jang posted about the sexual abuse cases there, I have made a painful decision. I cried over this today but I have to do what I feel is the right and honorable thing to do within my own conscience. I have printed out the transcript and I will give it to my family to read. They are aware of the Dateline show but were calmed by the elders and told not to believe it. I know that when I give the transcript to them from Australian tv that they will see me as Satan and shun me again. Like I said, this is painful...I love my dad and I may never see him again but right is right and love is not lies. Pray for me? Love, DJ
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  Tinkerbell4125

  Happysunshine, I recently confronted my family about Silentlambs. It didn't seem to do much good, BUT I'm glad I did! At least I made them aware of what's going on. What they do with it, is now up to them. They know where I stand on the issue, ya know.
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  Francois

  Let it go.

  Then sit back and watch and wait. And when the entire JW house of cards collapses, STILL don't say anything. Just give them a knowing look and a smile.

  If you say anything, make it something like, "I'm SO sorry you were misled for SO MANY years. Now. How about we go out for a nice Bloody Mary or something and forget the whole thing?" Thereby heaping coals upon the head of the angry persons.

  My two cents.

  francois