Ok. I'm not so sure I'll convey my thoughts in a conherent manner, but here goes...
Tonight my daugher-in-law told me that I'm the most positive people she knows. That my husband and I not only think about what we want, but we get it. The only thing I could think to mention was "visialization." That somehow we do create what we want...and we want or, desire, something more suited to our lifestyle...garden, small community, a safer place for our grandchildren to grow up dodado etc.
Now, I struggle with the self esteem issues often. I know that somehow things do work out accordingly, but when someone actually tells me they think I'm a positive person, encouraging, and manage to get what is wanted...it sorta scares me. Not in the scare of the old JW days, just seems that because I'm capable of great anger - invision those little pins sticking in someone's wax body...it does make me wonder.
I just don't know. It's gets confusing to me because I'm not some goody-two-shoes who never knowleges anger, hatred, or a myriad of other thoughts many deem "evil." Maybe that's what seems scary...if I'm capable of "creating" the good, then perhaps while I'm thinking about the wax dolls something is happening on that level also.
Just my ramblings late at night.
Granny