Hi Donald I just finished reading your book a few minutes ago. I feel a special interest mostly because of the same religious background and the way you describe the elders etc. I do not relate to the sexual abuse but I find it just absolutely mind boggling that this kind of thing could have happened and when revealed the only thing any of the elders can think about is the good name of Jehovah and not the well being of you and your family. I liked your book a lot, it being written in the first person helped me to feel what you were feeling and I felt for you a lot reading that book. It helped me see how a child can have these things happen and not tell because they feel they are guilty and bad. It helped me see how these monsters like Daniel get away with it and by writing this book Donald you help people see that these monsters are real and that as a victim there is no need to be ashamed. I have never read a book where the abused has verbalized what happened in such detail, my heart went out to you. This is truely a horrible crime and people who commit these offences repeatedly should not be living in freedom. My God I think about this "Monster" living in the Philippeans with 3 More young children (your half brothers and sisters), I am sure you have your thoughts on that one. I do not have anything against religion, thats an individual choice if a person wishes to worship their God. I was brought up as a Jehovah's Witness until I left in disgust. I still believed it was the truth but I decided that I would rather die at Armageddon than live the way I had to live as a Jehovah's Witness. I was an only child of a fanatical pair of parents who lived the religion, my Dad beat me and screamed at me all the time if I didn't live up to his expectations of me in terms of my spiritual progress. I was allowed no friends even Jehovah's Witness friends, in other words they isolated me. I left home, pursued worldly ways, married and had children. I realized that the problem was not the religion but my parents so in I became very concerned about my little children and their future so I looked into the religion again as I didn't want my children to miss out on the chance of living forever. I met much opposition from my husband but struggled on with the "Truth". Taking little children to the hall was quite a challenge. The situation became so depressing and impossible as I did not receive much help from anyone, my parents, fellow christians or my husband so I fell away. I got into worldly ways again and tried to block out that I may die at armageddon. Last year I found a lot of information on the Internet about others in my same situation, I read their stories and reasons for leaving the "Truth". I read all the things that I did not know about the Society and how they treated others and then I realized that it is as my husband and so many have told me ...Just a Cult! Whatever happens in the world I know that I am responsible for myself and that we all can do good without a formal religion and strict rules and regulations set out my imperfect men. .... I looked at all the pictures that you have on the internet of your family...You and Marina looked very much alike when you were younger. I wish you all the best Donald and hope you will let me know when your next book comes out. ... I don't know how to write a book . I would not want to write about the Jehovah's Witnesses except how it was a part of my life that started me off on the wrong foot and affected me for my whole life in my choices etc. Maybe one day I will be inspired!! Warmest Regards _________
A Heartfelt response to my book
by morrisamb 5 Replies latest watchtower child-abuse
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WildHorses
my Dad beat me and screamed at me all the time if I didn't live up to his expectations of me in terms of my spiritual progress.
It really burns me up inside when I hear things like this. God(if he really exist) wants people to love him because they want to. You can't make someone follow him by beating them.
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Swan
I ordered my copy and can't wait for it to get here. It sounds like it will be a very emotional read though, so I will keep a box of tissues handy.
Tammy
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morrisamb
Hi Tammy,
Thanks for ordering the book. We mailed yours out as soon as your order came in. Let me know when you receive it and also what you think of it after you've read it. I appreciate feedback.
Donald
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Swan
Hi Donald,
I got the book in yesterday's post. I'm so excited! I read the first 4 chapters already. I really like the style.
Tammy
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morrisamb
Hi Tammy, glad you got the book and like the style so far. You might be interested in this. This reviewer just posted this on Blether and Catholic and Christian Book Reviews
Father's Touch
by Donald D'HaeneCategory: Non-fiction / Autobiography
340 pages; ISBN: 1589821122Rating: 10/10 The Blether Gold Award. A truly exceptional read, the finest example of a genre, a book with which the reviewer can find no fault, and which will usually have universal appeal.
Reviewer: Kathryn Lively
Review
I finished this book weeks ago, and now I am finally sitting down to write the review. The delay in this turnover cannot be entirely attributed to my schedule, I must admit, for book reviews come easy to me. Reviewing Father's Touch, Donald D'Haene's memoir of growing up as a first generation Canadian to Belgian immigrants, has been one of the most difficult things I have had to do. It is not because I disliked the story; as you might suspect, my delay concerns mainly the actual subject matter of the story. This is no ordinary memoir.
True-life stories of sexual abuse at the hands of parents are not very populous in the published world, and there is a part of me that wishes books like Father's Touch and Sue William Silverman's Because I Remember Terror, Father, I Remember You (reviewed elsewhere) did not have to be written, that the authors did not have to be subjected to the terror that inspired such work. On the flip side, one must commend D'Haene for his courage and his decision to share his story, if only to serve as a reminder that abuse does happen and that inaction among others does not erase the problem.
Donald D'Haene and his siblings were first generation Canadians, born to Belgian parents who crossed the Atlantic for the promise of a new life in a new world. Yet for the matron D'Haene there was little solace in a marriage where her husband had established control soon after exchanging vows. When Daniel D'Haene decided to join the Jehovah's Witnesses, the family came along with no questions asked. As the family grew, so expanded the senior D'Haene's tyrrany, which would eventually manifest itself in unsavory activities with his children, including one in particular Donald called "The Game."
Throughout much of his childhood, Donald and his siblings were unwilling participants in The Game. It was not until the refusal of the youngest child to be initiated into these secret rituals that Donald's mother learned of the abuse. Subsequent reports to Kingdom's Hall resulted in investigations, disfellowship for Daniel and much harrumphing, but little action beyond that. Never during the course of the abuse and the time thereafter (during which the D'Haenes divorced and Donald moved his mother and siblings elsewhere) was the family informed that legal action could be taken against Daniel D'Haene. When the elder D'Haene finally was accused, the end result for the adult Donald was a botched case and a sentence that hardly befitted the crime of many years of sexual and psychological abuse.
Father's Touch angered me, as well it should have. This is a story written in parts, beginning in the present where Donald and a companion travel back to the places of his childhood. Vivid memories of fellow parishoners - now strangers - and former homes segue vividly into D'Haene's flashback narration, which features somebody D'Haene refers to as "the Other Donald," the numbed self the real Donald left to the mercy of his father to withstand the abuse. Reading Father's Touch, I could not help but wonder how common this phenomenon is among sexually abused youth (Silverman, in her memoir, writes of "Dina," an identity associated with her own experiences).
D'Haene writes honestly, and shows great skill for detail and narrative. Father's Touch is a raw, emotional story of survival, coming to terms with a traumatic past and moving beyond for a better present.