My own story is at the end of this post. Simon and board moderators, I have edited out the person's last name. In light of recent discussions, I think that would be best. However I will share his name with *some* like Silentlambs or ones from certain areas if they email me for it as I think it would be necessary for them to know.
If an accusation of child molestation is made against a member of a congregation, the elders immediately work to assure the safety of the victim and of other children. Also, they make every effort to comply with the law. This includes complying with laws that mandate reporting the incident to the proper authorities. This is done even when a child is the only one to report the wrong conduct or when the elders received the allegation of molestation in confidence.In fact, for years now our published policy has been to tell people they have the right to report.
For example, the , Awake! provided the reminder: "Some legal experts advise reporting the abuse to the authorities as soon as possible. In some lands the legal system may require this," Also the policy document "Jehovah's Witnesses and Child Protection," which was posted on the authorized Web site as well as being distributed to researchers, explains "The elders may be required by law to report even uncorroborated or unsubstantiated allegations to the authorities. If so, we expect the elders to comply. Additionally, the victim may wish to report the matter to the authorities, and it is his or her absolute right to do so."
Earlier this year, among other details provided in the letter read to all congregations of Jehovah's Witnesses in the was this paragraph:
"We have long instructed elders to report allegations of child abuse to the authorities where required by law to do so, even where there is only one witness. (Romans 13:1) In any case, the elders know that if the victim wishes to make a report, it is his or her absolute right to do so.--Galatians 6:5,"
Thus Jehovah's Witnesses believe that it is the absolute right of the victim, his or her family, or any other concerned individuals to report the matter to the authorities. There are no congregation sanctions against anyone who reports an allegation of child abuse to the authorities. Our policy does not, however, dictate all of the specifics of the reporting. There are too many variables to stipulate anything beyond compliance with secular law.
What's missing here? I hope more of the right people pick up on this. Whats missing is any kind of statement to the effect of "elders encourage the parents to go to the police". This bit of creative writing only says that congregation elders don't prevent the parents from calling the police. Considering the source, that statement and fifty cents will buy you a cup of bad coffee. For some reason the word Bulgaria keeps popping up in my head.
Can you think of any other cult religion where parents of a sexually abused child would call their "elders" instead of the police first?
That's another thing that bugs the hell out of me. When little Sally says Brother So-and-So [did something to her, I don't rightly know the best way to put it] they first (usually only), call some elder who has no proper experience in dealing with a case like this instead of the police who will put trained investigators, counselors, and medical professionals on the case. The key words there are trained and profesional.
The WTS says that victims are not discouraged or prohibited from going to the authorities. But nowhere does that article or anything else I've seen say "when your child says he or she was molested, call the police immediately" or just "call the police" for that matter. If you go back and read the above article it seems as though reporting to the police is not even a priority. There is absolutely no imperative whatsoever to involve the authorities, only statements that "it is their absolute right". When they say "it's their...right" and "...no sanctions against..." they're still not saying that it's something that should be done in the organization. In other words, they don't say not to call the cops but they also don't actually say do call the cops either. We all know very well that when the WTS leaves a decision up to the individual dub the decision has already been laid out in the unwritten set of rules.
Bulgaria.
Again that word comes to mind. It feels like saying bullshit almost, doesn't it? No offense to the Bulgarians and I hope any Bulgarians here are cool with this, but I make a motion that from now on we substitute the word Bulgaria for bullshit when speaking of WTS matters. Anyone second that?
Now it's going to get ugly for me.
When I was around 4 or 5 I had my own incident. I've always kept this to myself. I've never wanted to talk about it and really I still don't. Told myself that it was just a minor thing. He never actually touched me after all and it only happened a few times that I can remember. Compared to the stories of real abuse survivors this to me feels so petty and trivial. But now at 30 I look back with what I know now and putting a childhood memory in proper perspective I think I should go ahead and put this one out there.
When I was around 4 or 5, we lived next door to another JW family. This was out in a rural area of Georgia. Around here, if you're a guy and outdoors you just pee when you gotta pee. Find a tree and water it, you know? Well this family had 2 boys and the younger son was probably 8 or 9 years older than me. One day he and I were out playing in this 1800's era house on the land we all lived on and I had to pee. So when I said I had to he said to do it right there and let him watch. That happened several times, always him wanting to watch. The last time was when he just said he wanted to "see my thing" and being only about 4 or 5 I went along with it and dropped my pants for him.
He never touched me or made me touch him that I can remember. He did drop his pants once though while mine were down. That's all I can remember past when the britches came down. But one night while my mom was tucking me in I said "B. wanted to see my thing today". I don't know exactly why I said it. But I did tell like B. had told me not to and mom went apeshit. I do remember that.
Memories fade over time and sometimes our minds delete them like we would a file from our computer's hard drive. Except, much like clicking 'delete', the memory isn't really gone. The file is still actually there on the hard drive, just not in the directory anymore but still there nevertheless, and the memory is actually still there in our minds but it's just not in our memory's directory anymore. Follow me? That memory is now just pieces of a larger file I won't totally recover and don't want to. It's in the 'recycle bin' where I can still see parts of it but not the whole thing. So the few fragments I can still find don't explain a few instances of "acting out" that I can vaguely remember from around the same time period.
Anyways. Mom ran to get my [step]dad. We all walked next door. The grown-ups went into the back room to talk it over and I stayed in the living room with the two boys. Yes including the one who liked to have me take my pants and skivvies off. We were there for a long time that night. Nothing official happened that I know of. It was never spoken of again. My mom once made a brief reference to it, "...he did a terrible thing to you..." and then quickly changed the subject. I do know that no action was ever taken officially. After "that night" there weren't even any restrictions on our association. My parents never talked to me about "if someone touches you..." or anything like that.
It was like it never happened.
But it did.
And if that could happen to me, it could happen to someone else. And may have, even more.
The guy's name is Bob or maybe now Bobby or Robert, Jr. That's as much as I'll say here. Haven't seen him in something like 12 years. He went on to serve at Watchtower Farms in the 80's then married and left. Last known residence [at least what I remember] was Augusta, GA.
I know my story isn't much compared to the real abuse that's gone on. But I do hope that it helps others come forward. At least that's what God knows is in my heart and in the end it's all up to him after all.
Mike.