1975
We almost danced away from the door after, to recall a Scripture where Jesus called his disciples fishers of men, my field service buddy was about to reel in another "Marlin"!
The Dream
I awoke one night from what I considered a nightmare but many of my brothers and sisters considered a dream soon to come true. Sitting up in bed shaking and sweating I recalled the blood curtling screams of men, women, children as they were being slaughtered by armies of avenging angels. Blood flowed through the streets like it was the once-in-a-century Mississippi flood. Pan across cities and ruins to the mountainous area where throngs of Jehovah's Witnesses merrily danced through beautiful hills covered with vibrantly colored flowers. In hindsight it looked very similar to those famous paradise scenes in the classic "Sound Of Music" motion picture.
I discovered that almost all Jehovah's Witnesses considered this a dream. All that blood was presumably from incorrigibly wicked people who were so evil they would never repent. Killing them was presumably a merciful act. I figured they were the serial killers, rapists and other evil criminals of our time. Perhaps they just looked innocent in the Watchtower magazine's beautiful pencil art drawings? I tried but could never figure out exactly what the artist who sketched these masterful works of magazine art was thinking when he sketched a dog flying into an open earthquake fissure? Did the dog bark all night and prevent its Jehovah's Witness neighbors from sleeping, thus diminishing their otherwise frosty presentation at householder doors, I wondered? Maybe that was it.
Reasoning from the Scriptures with the Society's helping hand, Armageddon in theory was a good dream in actuality. An alternative to prisoners spending taxpayer money letting evildoers rot for years on Death Row, in overcrowded prisons continuously fed with convicts out of a seemingly broken legal system. Why not put their bodies to a good and natural use as fertilizer to feed the lovely gardens of the righteous in paradise? Made sense to me at first blush.
The Concept
The dream was quite a beautiful vision for any Jehovah's Witness to behold, but the actual concept had one fatal flaw that was represented by four digits:
1976
New Years Day arrived, and many Jehovah's Witnesses awoke with a really wicked hangover that no Watchtower publication or Circuit Overseer's visit could cure. I'll never forget how one who was disfellowshipped in 1975 for adultery, and told in no uncertain terms he would likely die a horrible death at Armageddon, wrote a letter to the elders stating that on New Year's Day of that year, he and the Presiding Overseer's unfaithful wife awoke in a luxury hotel suite. He went on to describe them ordering room service, how good the coffee was, and them enjoying the best sex they ever had. Of course, the elder's wife snuck the letter out of her elder husband's book bag and showed myself and another brother this letter. We read it in disbelief while she fed us her delicious home baked fresh apple pie a la mode (with Hagen Daz vanilla ice cream). The other brother said we were "bad boys" for reading an "apostate's letter," we all giggled like little kids who had snuck their dad's Playboy for a peek, and then we complimented her excellent culinary skills on our way out the door. Gossip is delicious when served by a gourmet chef.
The years, they quickly fly by...
1980
On the 5th anniversary after Armageddon was supposed to occur, Governing Body member Ray Franz is disfellowshipped for having lunch with a disfellowshipped brother.
1985
The Holy Spirit was disfellowshipped publicly for apostasy at the District Assembly, er, Watchtower Convention. Evidently a Judicial Committee had determined that the Holy Spirit was allowing itself to be a "channel" between Christ and the Governing Body as God's "spirit directed channel of communication." Baptisms were no longer performed in the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit. God's Spirit Directed Organization stepped in and replaced the Holy Spirit, with baptisms in the name of the Father, the Son, and God's Spirit Directed Organization. (Rumor has it that should the present Governing Body themselves get disfellowshipped for apostasy, the Board will retroactively reinstate the Holy Spirit and it will return to its place in future baptisms as Jesus commanded. Who knows, perhaps they will ask Ray Franz to temporarily become an advisor to the Watchtower Society should such a transition take place?)
1990
The Watchtower Society joins the United Nations as NGO member. In order to reconcile this action, Jehovah's Witnesses need to skip through the chapter in Revelation that mentions a very well dressed whore sitting side-saddle on a big nasty beast. Just ignore that part.
1996
The Internet that the Society is riding upon, turns on her like an angry beast with a voracious appetite, stripping her naked. Ya, her dirty laundry is aired all over the world by brothers and sisters anonymously posting to AJWR (now closed) and Hourglass2Outpost (H2O) web forums.
1999
Jehovah's Witness forum participant "You Know" prophesies on H2O a dire warning to apostates that worldwide destruction would prevent these most wicked ones from making it into the next millennium.
H2O starts its fiery reentry into the atmosphere like the old Mir space station, but makes it into the next millennium intact along with its many participants. Although You Know had prophesied they were supposed to be already dead in the ashes of Armageddon, there was not even a storm cloud to indicate Armageddon would happen anytime soon.
2000
The web forum www.JehovahsWitness.com bursts onto the scene, becoming a major camp of Watchtower friends and really angry pissed-off foes (mostly the latter), and an interesting assortment of other "interested ones." The battle for souls seemed to have begun for those who dare enter, reminding one of the terse warning that Dante gave to those contemplating entrance to his Inferno in this age old literary masterpiece.
The Climax
Real soon now, the Society still expects to enjoy a "grand climax" of slaughter and revenge by God upon a wicked world, that is anticipated to feel better than any physical climax experienced by married folks. Perhaps it will start on this very web site as horrified participants post that a mysterious flesh eating bacteria is exfoliating their bones of skin? You Know will look like Mary Poppins running through paradisaical fields of vibrant flowers in the "Sound Of Music" if such a panic were to ensue here, I would imagine.
The phrase worldwide destruction often triggers goosebumps of anticipation all over many Jehovah's Witnesses because it caters to our base instincts for payback and revenge. Those wicked people need to be destroyed, to make room for beautiful mansions surrounded by acres of gardens inhabited by the righteous. Right?
"The Charles Mansons and Jeffrey Dahmers of this world are the ones slated for destruction, not just your average folks who make everyday mistakes due to imperfection?" asked a young lady during her free home Bible study. She needs assurances that it will not become a form of genocide, but that people who genuinely deserve to die, shall die. Quick thinking always yields a diplomatic response: "Why of course, I mean, they're not Jehovah's Witnesses, are they?" Her relieved response: "I should think not!" And her respondent: "There you go. I think you've answered your own question." This response gives both the study and her teacher satisfaction, because somewhere along the line she got this crazy idea in her head that the Watchtower Society teaches that only Jehovah's Witnesses will be spared at Armageddon!
She was not "ready" for a "greater knowledge" that is attained by many years of studying Watchtower publications. I mean, how can you explain to someone that is not properly conditioned over a period of time that, as an illustration, if God had to choose between a selfish Jehovah's Witness who got baptized to save his or her skin, and Mother Teresa if she were still alive, Jehovah would have no choice but to choose the Jehovah's Witness? (God might want to save Mother Teresa but the Governing Body would never authorize such an action because she is not a baptized Jehovah's Witness in good standing with the organization.) I mean, it takes a lot of studying with Jehovah's Witnesses, to realize that no matter how righteous a person is, they cannot be saved unless they profess the Watchtower Society is the organization used by the "Faithful and Discreet Slave" that Jesus prophesied. Works save in the final analysis, not heart condition, is the message we hear loud and clearly at Watchtower conventions (even if elders pay lip service to heart condition in their talks, and the publications always mention heart condition to avoid offending non-Witnesses).
At this point in her study, she was given the type of diplomatic response that the Society encourages Jehovah's Witnesses to give such ones. She simply wasn't ready for the unfiltered truth. She needed "baby food" that was properly mulched so that her tender teeth could chew it, and that is exactly what she got. Little did she know that as a single sister, her "climax" would be "grand," and most likely come, not in the arms of her brother-prince-charming on a honeymoon night postponed until the "new system"! Rather, her climax would come when Armageddon arrived in the very near future. She could look forward to "dining" on visceral excitement rather than sexual sensation, her endorphins and various hormones flooding her entire body, triggering one climax after another after still another! Behold! The fantastic slaughter of those who previously slammed the door our faces! That was a really bad mistake on their part.
Derrick
Edited by - Derrick on 17 October 2002 21:36:30