help! part 2

by kaykay_mp 1 Replies latest jw experiences

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  kaykay_mp

  everything was cool, until mother decided to come home early. Jordan got sleepy and cranky as usual. nevertheless, i did get to spend some time alone with the baby.

  and then my brother decided to pop in from alabama.

  i forgot how annoying he could be. i was on the internet when he arrived and i got off for a minute so i could give some family love. didnt happen. he grabbed my chair and started fiddling with mom's computer. ; guess thats why it locked up this morning.

  yeah, i can deal with the fact that he does that sort of thing all the time. and i can deal with the fact that he'll eat anyone out of house and home, and his manners remind the average person what it was like to live as a neanderthal, and his idea of a workout is balancing a sandwich in each hand.

  but what's really annoying is the question he asked me before he left,"please, dont get mad at me, but are you coming back to the hall?" (and i did get mad)

  this is same person that, earlier that evening, was talking about the blessings of Jehovah, and the talked about how he got laid off 3 times, lost his new truck, and just got hired at Target (wow! movin' on up in the world). i'll keep my job in the army, with free healthcare, housing, and utilities (you have to really screw up to get kicked out of the army). I have kids to feed, thank you. And I see Jah is blessing the hell out of him.

  i really need to count my blessings.

  kaykay_mp
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  Cicatrix

  Sorry to hear about your rough day with your bro, Kaykay.

  We just learned about paradigms in communications class last week. A paradigm is a set of rules and beliefs that a person gauges their life by. Your brother has the JW paradigm, and he can't see past the "Jehovah will provide" thing.(Which contrasts nicely with the "men are the head of the household and must provide" thing, I think).

  My husband and I just talked about this yesterday. I DA'd myself recently(he was never JW). Most of my former congregation members keep asking aquaintances "how I am doing" economically. Guess, what--things are definitely not worse, they are better. But I don't really relate it to leaving myself, it's just a set of circumstances that worked in my favor.Part of the Witness Paradigm is that only Jehovah provides, or Satan if you leave Jehovah. Funny thing is, in reality, usually nothing changes drastically, except maybe our own view about effort bringing us a living for our family.

  You realize this, now that your every thought is not controlled (if it ever was, I'm not familiar with your story). He does not. He's irritating, but take pity on him, dear. You are far better off than he.

  I noticed when you relayed his words that there was a pleading quality to his voice when he said "Don't get mad at me, but are you coming back to the kingdom hall." Personally, I think he misses you. The Witness Paradigm thing may be getting in his way of expressing any real sentiment.And as one who has only nonWitness bros--believe me, they can all be annoying:):)

  Your kids are really lucky to have a mom that cares so much about them. No, not luck--it was smarts and sheer determination that got you to where you are. Keep it up girl, and unload here anytime. We all need to do that now and then:)