Your a teenage boy again, and you have just snuck out of your parents home at midnight. You sneak through the bushes, getting a couple of scratches and head to the rendezvous location that your friends arranged earlier. You climb into the car to a bunch of cheers, and head off to the location you had been looking forward to all night long while you waited for your parents to go to bed. You get to the party, and beer is being drank every where and you can wait to catch up. On the couch is the girl who talked you into doing this in the first place, and you gladly go sit next to her and share some words. Soon you are kissing, and you head to the empty bedroom and next thing you know she has her shirt off and wanting to have sex. Then like some recorder in your mind, you hear "Jehovah would not approve, What would the elders say, If you get caught you are going to be disfellowshipped, What would you mom say, etc." Do you know what I mean? In my life I can honestly say that there have been times where I swear I could hear all those thoughts resonating through my mind. It might have been something in a Watchtower that I read, or something someone said. The thing is, guilt in those situations kind of always seemed to get in the way. Whereas other worldly kids would have just grabbed the nearest condom and gone to town, I was over there worrying about the fact that I would have to explain this to the elders and get thrown out of the house. I can honestly say in situations like that, I wanted so many times to tell my mind, "to shut the hell up!" Yet did it? No, and many of us remember this little comment made a lot from the stage about the "Christian trained conscience" and despite all that I disliked from my youth. I have to admit that this thing actually brought me some benefit. Some might say that you should have done more, and been with more girls. Yet in all honestly, as I get older and really think about my actions. Those regrets get really small, and I see the wisdom in all that stopped me. I did not exactly live the perfect teenage image, but at the same time I was not out being all wild either. It was not that I could not jump out the window when I wanted too, but it was that some where inside of my mind I had grown a measure of self-respect. So as I set there that evening with this woman breast out and thinking, "awesome!" I also had to contend with the other voice that said, "You shouldn't" and thus I didn't. Trust me, I was kicking myself for not doing that for many months. Then my friend got his girlfriend pregnant and she handled it with a abortion, and I remember thinking that doing what seemed right in my mind helped me to avoid some really rough times. Not that I would say the Witnesses were the ones to thank for such smart decisions in life, but I have to admit in this current life, that the Witness restrictions in my youth did help me to avoid some serious problems that my friends went through. I was no angel though, and I did drink at times. One lesson I learned on my own though, that was never taught in the Kingdom Hall, and I learned it that night I snuck out. When you jump out of your window to go meet your friends, make sure you turn off the light in your bedroom. Because mothers have this habit of seeing it on and checking on you, and then seeing you are gone. Well let's just say, after the talk I got the next day. I was seriously thinking, I should have had sex and dealt with the elders. I think their punishment would have been easier. We live and we learn, and sometimes we are thankful for not doing the things we regretted passing on. My thought Dragon
Edited by - kenpodragon on 29 October 2002 0:15:25