Drugs/family question

Jesus Christ

Hi everyone. I've got a question for you and just want to see how other people would have acted. This story is not about me, of course, because I'm Jesus and all but instead involves this guy that I know and will be writing from his point of view.

My wife's family is mostly great and I get along with them wonderfuly and always have. Her brother is a great guy and so is his wife of the past couple of years but unfortunately her kids from previous relationships are horrible (as is most of her family). Her oldest son is 15. He has already gotten into trouble with the courts for drug charges. He's also beaten his mom up twice because she would throw his drugs out when she found them. She wasn't going through his stuff or anything, he just leaves it out in the open around the house where others, including his middle school brother and elementry school sister can get to them. One time when my brother-in-law and his wife went out of town for their aniversary he called their hotel acting like it was an emergency when he thought his mom had done something with his bong. He's in just about every class for bad kids that you can imagine. In short, I really can't think of anything positive to say about this kid at all.

Anyway, now that I've got the background info out here's the real story and point of this post.

My wife and I were at a fair a few weeks ago and ran into this idiot kid and his new girl friend. As it turns out, the girl is the niece of one of my wife's best friends (as in my wife was the maid of honor in her friend's wedding a year ago). A day or two later when wife and friend were talking my wife told her friend that the two were dating and warned her about what a truly little jerk this kid is. Well, long story short is the warning got back to my sister-in-law and she called last night angry at my wife. She was upset that my wife had warned her friend about her kid. To his credit (according to his mom) he only beat her up twice and has been doing really well on his drug charges induced probation. She also said that in the future she would appreciate it if we wouldn't talk about what he's done.

So what do you think? Would you have warned your friend about her niece's boyfriend if you were in that situation?

Thanks for any replies.

RunningMan

Absolutely, I would have warned the girl's mother.

Maybe the boy will get his life straightened out, maybe not. Either way, he has no right to screw up someone else's life, until he get's his own straightened up.

There is no shame in telling the truth.

hamptonite21

thats a tough one! I ve learned to mind my own business, and let people find out on there own. People see what they want too.

Guest 77

He needs to feel what it's like to beaten!

Guest 77

Sentinel

Dear Jesus, (I feel so strange speaking to you about your family.)

You know you did the right thing. This kids mom (family or not) is in total denial. She no doubt blames herself for his "state", and so she is going to defend him no matter what. This is very sad, because as long as she does this, he will not continue his behavior. I'm not saying that he is a hopeless case. He might really turn around and prove himself. The last thing he needs is to get a nice young girl involved in drug activity, and posibly an unwanted pregnancy.

This brings back vivid memories of life in my first marriage, with a person who ended up as a drug addict--mostly the weed, but also uppers and downers. Since we had a baby then, I was always so conscious of "stuff" left lying around after parties held in our home. Many a time, I was able to find the drugs and flush them down the toilet.

My husband would be infuriated, but he and his friends soon learned that they better not come to our home and get stoned/high, because they wouldn't be able to locate their "stash". (I would take the drugs out of their pockets and get rid of it.) It was quite disconcerting to have dope heads passing out and not knowing for sure if they would be alright. I always was fearful that a pill/substance would fall on the floor and I would miss it, and my son would find it while crawling around the next day. But in allowing my husband to be head of the house, the parties were his decision, and I just had to be the good little JW subserviant wife. Those were the days...........

nilfun

Your wife did the right thing. She does not live by the same crazy code that the boy's mom lives by.

Your wife is under no obligation to cover up for that boy's craziness.

The boy's mom isn't doing him any favors by trying to cover up for him either...

I hope your wife feels proud, rather than guilty, for what she did.

Valis

I agree w/nilfun..as well...if he has no compunction about beating his mother he has serious wife beater potential...something the young lady he was with should be warned of too.

Sincerely,

District Overbeer

LyinEyes

I think it was the right thing to do. I think if it were my daughter dating someone who had a drug and voilence problem , even in the past, she should know.
I know a little about kids on parole or probabtion for these kinds of things, they stay on the doing pretty good until they are off alot of times. I really hope the kid gets help , but then again, i have seen some come off of probabtion only madder and have not received any real help. Probabtion is just a good way for the courts to get more money.

If I were his mom, the next time he beat me up, his little butt would be in Boot camp. They have those around here , and let me tell, you when they come out they do have a different attitude.

I do think tough love is sometimes the only thing that works. I know alot of these so called reform camps have actually killed some kids , so I would find a place that I througly investigated . He seems like he is the way he is because Mama keeps making excuses for him . Until someone gets in his face and tells him how it is going to be,,,, he will hit again, maybe even the girl.

Been there

Yes it was definatly the right thing to do.

Jesus, you took the sins of the world, this shouldn't be too tuff

(edited because I'm smiley impaired)

Edited by - Been There on 29 October 2002 19:39:55

Bendrr

Your wife did the right thing and now both of you need to follow through and protect the young girl. This punk's "girlfriend" shouldn't be allowed anywhere near him! The kid raised a hand against his own momma for cryin' out loud! You and your wife get that girl away from him right now!

Beat up his own momma. Jesus Christ! What the hell are you even asking us for?! Go make sure that boy gets the shit beat out of him and knows why!

Mike.

Drugs/family question

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