The Courage to Leave

by Victor_E 9 Replies latest jw friends

  • Victor_E
    Victor_E

    The advancing technology of the Internet will continue to change the topography of the Watchtower. They can no longer function with the age long philosophy of business as usual due to the proliferation of computers and the easy access to information. This as we have seen will lead to more baby boomers and generation xers logging on to educate themselves of the truth about the JW truth.

    Individuals are going to fall into one or more of several categories as they take the initiative and expose themselves to factual information about the Watchtower. This segmentation of people is due to everyone being at a different place and stage in their lives. Other factors are their past experience inside of JWs, personal motivation, extended JW family relationships, the hierarchical position inside of JWs, financial status, psychological health, exit plan, etc.

    I once had one JW family who was so disillusioned, that when I presented the facts to them they made their exit plan and in less than three months were completely out. The woman had suffered from numerous experiences at the hands of incompetent elders. She, through her own personal experience saw the religion for what it is. This family had no other extended JW family to lose so their decision was quick and final. Making the adjustment back into society was not an easy thing for the mother due to her lack of job skills. The children did not fare much better; they were born into the religion and also had put off a college education so they worked at minimum wage blue-collar jobs, two of them trying to support a family.

    Then there is the couple that the wife was ready to exit while he was not. He was a second generation JW who had a lot to lose. He had business relationships, extended family, and the JW experience was his whole way of life. He spent a good two years reading everything he could get his hands on in order to convince himself that what he was reading was factual. He even went to the kingdom hall to read the original books to convince himself of their rewritten history. At the end of this, he was not only convinced but was en expert on the history of the Watchtower. He and his wife were instrumental in helping others to exit from the religion.

    One lady was already out but she still defended the JWs blaming herself for being too liberal. When she learned the facts she transformed that guilt into self-confirmation of her intuition. She was going to school at that time and finished with an associates degree. Last I heard of her she was working and living her life to the fullest.

    Another lady that was inactive semi probed to learn to the facts but not having a support system decided to go back to the JWs. She is a middle aged woman with no job skills divorced and no support system whatsoever outside of JWs. This lady probably made the right choice for her because outside of the JW subculture it would have been very hard to reconstruct her life.

    I loaned one of Rays books to another inactive client and she went home and left the book on a coffee table for her mother to see. Her mother a retired teacher read the book in one weekend. She took all her JW literature put it in boxes and went and left it at the door of one of her elders house. She included a letter telling him she did not want anything else to do with JWs. This woman had been a JW for some 30 years.

    One man was unable to function or exist outside the social structure of the JWs. He was very codependent and was still mourning the loss of his JW wife. Leaving for him was not an option he would even consider. He was a Watchtower apologist that would rationalize and justify all the wrongs inside of the Watchtower. He was also invested with a lot of business contacts inside of the religion.

    One lady became very knowledgeable about the Watchtower yet she could not leave for fear of losing her aged father. While she was inactive she still was cordial to the JWs when they would call on her to encourage her. She at times though would fluctuate between feelings of exiting and staying. What would motivate her was her anger and inconvenience of having to live a lie. She was caught in a double bind not wanting to set a bad example of hypocrisy for her young daughter.

    I am sure you have your own story to tell, we all do. Each of our stories is unique while the paradoxes may be similar they are never quite the same. In the final analysis no one but us can make that decisive choice of whether to stay or leave. We alone will have to face and live with the consequences of our actions. In that moment of our decision our destiny and quality of life is set. We should be ready to revise any belief, we should change a belief where there is compelling reason to change it, and we should not change a belief wantonly without some good reason. The first point needs intellectual courage, the second, intellectual honesty, and the third, wise restraint. Do not believe anything but question only what is worth questioning.

    We want to live in the present, and the only history that is worth a tinkers damn is the history we make today. Henry Ford

  • ThiChi
    ThiChi

    Thanks! Well written and very telling. It is amazing the similarities of the stories you tell, just based on my own experience. Did you read Rays second book, ISOCF?

  • out4good3
    out4good3

    These are the "experiences" you won't hear about in any of the publications or as an assembly part, but, they are more inspiring and realistic, than the canned polished presentations we've all been exposed to during those indoctrinating sessions.

    Thanks for sharing.

  • metatron
    metatron

    Very interesting and well written.

    What a selective filtering process! - removing the skilled, intelligent and
    principled while leaving behind the weak, emotionally stunted, and ignorant.

    Again I say, they're rapidly going to get dumber and crazier.

    It's so sad because it doesn't have to end this way. The Catholic Church is
    reasonably strict and monolithic, yet they allow for a wide spectrum of belief,
    commitment, and callings. The Watchtower could do the same, but it ain't gonna happen.

    metatron

  • hamptonite21
    hamptonite21

    WHAT ABOUT AN APOSTATE YEARBOOK! STATS OF ALL WHO ARE LEAVING, UN BIBLE STUDIES, DISFELLOWSHIPPINGS, DIS ASSOCIATED, AND INACTIVE JDUBS.

  • blondie
    blondie
    What a selective filtering process! - removing the skilled, intelligent and
    principled while leaving behind the weak, emotionally stunted, and ignorant.

    You forgot, the cowardly, self-serving, liars also remain.

    Blondie.

  • out4good3
    out4good3
    What a selective filtering process! - removing the skilled, intelligent and
    principled while leaving behind the weak, emotionally stunted, and ignorant.

    What a great description of the Governing body !!!!!!!

    Those dubs left over should identify well with the old geezers.

  • Francois
    Francois

    Given the Internet and books like CoC and organizations like Silent Lambs, soon the only people who will be left in the organization of JWs will be those who are most proficient at self-deception, people who are not honest with themselves. Everyone else will have left.

    What a lonely place that will be.

    francois

  • Joyzabel
    Joyzabel

    Thank you Victor_E.

    I love hearing experiences of others on how they have dealt with finding out about the wtbts.

    I agree, unless a person can deal with the truth about the wtbts, the subculture of the organization is a safet net to some and shouldn't be messed with.

    Please keep posting some good ideas about helping others or at least help the lurkers know that it isn't easy but it is rewarding.

    j2bf

  • Blueblades
    Blueblades

    Victor_E, " For me,nothing is more exciting to read than letters from those who are in the process of leaving the Watchtower organization and coming to realize for the first time in their life that something is amiss,that they are on the verge of a discovery that will rock their world. There is indeed ,LIFE outside of the Watchtower, a bigger and better life". This is part of the introduction to RANDALL WATTERS, Letters to the Editor, Book Two 1989 to1995 The Recent Years.It confirm all that you have so eloquently written here.Having read Letters to the Editor,and having talked with Randy by phone I have been encouraged by those who have presented their story for all to read.While still inside, my family is working out the courage to leave.Randy, if you read this ,please accept my apology for quoting part of your introduction without your permission .But your words express it better than mine.Thank You. Blueblades

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