Executive Decision

by alfie 1 Replies latest social humour

• 

  alfie

  An executive was in a quandary.

  He had to get rid of one of his staff.

  He had narrowed it down to one of two people, Debra or Jack.

  It would be a hard decision to make, as they were equally

  qualified and both did excellent work.

  He finally decided that in the morning whichever one used the

  water cooler first would have to go.

  Debra came in the next morning, hugely hung-over after partying

  all night.

  She went to the cooler to get some water to take an aspirin.

  The executive approached her and said,

  Debra, I?ve never done this before,but I either have to lay you or Jack off."

  Debra replied, "Could you jack off?

  I feel like hell."

  alfie
• 

  Mackin

  An extremely modest man was in the hospital for a series of tests, which had left his bodily systems extremely upset. Upon making
  several false alarm trips to the bathroom, he decided the latest episode was another and stayed put.

  He suddenly filled his bed with diarrhea and was embarrassed beyond his ability to remain rational. In a complete loss of composure he jumped out of bed, gathered up the bed sheets, and threw them out the hospital window.

  A drunk was walking by the hospital when the sheets landed on him. He started yelling, cursing, and swinging his arms violently trying to get the unknown things off, and ended up with the soiled sheets in a tangled pile at his feet.

  As the drunk stood there staring down at the sheets, a hospital security guard who watched the whole incident walked up and asked,

  "What the heck is going on?"

  The drunk, still staring down, replied:

  "I think I just beat the shit out of a ghost."

  Mackin