I dated a JW..it was a painfull experience in love

by Funky_Diva_53_2000 4 Replies latest social relationships

  • Funky_Diva_53_2000
    Funky_Diva_53_2000

    Hi,it's been a while since I last wrote on this site.I know quite a lot of you took the time to read my story about when I was 17 (now 18) and I met a Jehovah's Witness bloke who was 20 at the time (now 21).You can read my story if you want in my ''posts'' under my user name.We had a relationship and he told me a few months later that he is JW.I remember the last time I added to my story we had broken up our relationship and decided not to stay friends.Because I stopped writing on my page,after that, I didn't tell you that several days afterwards I felt I couldn't deal with the pain of not talking to each other anymore so we began texting and phoning each other again...and then met up in town.I thought I could move on but I obviously wasn't strong enough to do that.

    I wanted us to be together so much and was really keen that we might still be able to work things out even though he chose to stay in his religion,so In the end I asked him if we could get back together and he said yes.We split up a few times though because this whole religion thing really got to me at times.I've been coming back to this website every few evenings to read people's thoughts and experience's...and found it helps to know others have been through similar things too.I know some other people have had more heartbreaking stories to tell on here but I feel my experience hurt me and It might help others that may be going through what I went through.

    Over the past few weeks I think I realized that if my then-boyfriend and I stayed in our relationship,either way it wasn't going to be easy.I also felt that he had hurt me too many times,emotionaly.I hurt him too,as I was so frustrated,angry and upset at times that I said some things I didn't mean.A few weeks ago I asked him if we could just be good friends...he sounded rather hurt and upset but he said yes.That leads me to where we are now...just good friends.We still see each other,maybe not so often as we did when we were dating but it's nice that we can stay friends I suppose.I feel more happier now that we are just friends,don't get me wrong...I really wish things could have been different (eg if he wasn't a JW) but he is and I suppose that's in a way what makes him him.

    I also want to say thank's ''concerned mama'' for the e-mail you sent me.I think I read one of your comments on another topic here the other day and you mentioned that your daughter had broken up with her boyfriend of 2 years or something?,I remember you told me about her and her b/f on the story I wrote.I'm sorry to hear they have split up,if they had.But in a way it might be a good thing don't you think.

    Thanks everyone for all the advice and support you gave me...it really helped.

    Funky_Diva_53_2000

  • Matty
    Matty

    (((Funky_Diva_53_2000)))

    I was only wondering about you just this week! Thank you for the update. I'm glad we all were of some help and support to you.

  • concerned mama
    concerned mama

    Hi Funky,

    Nice to hear from you. I'm so glad things are going better for you.

    Yes, my daughter and her bf broke up about a month ago, but they remain e mail friends. He is still a very confused young man, unhappy in many ways. They still care for each other, but she is moving on perhaps more than he is. She is having a fantastic time at high school, and seems to be growing both personally and in confidence. It finally dawned on her that "it wasn't working, and nothing was going to change". This boy has a very hard line family and is too young to have any say in his own life, and for that matter, he may never have what it takes to examine his own religion, and even if he left it, who is to say that he wouldn't go back.

    Both you, Funky, and my daughter, have to be careful not to let the friendship re-develop into romance. If you still have feelings for a guy, it can happen too easily. I'm going to say the same thing to you, as I say to her. Try and put some distance between you. Move on. Too much contact can confuse you, and make you forget it wasn't working. A little more space can be the kindest thing for both of you, in the long term. I am SO relieved that they broke up, and I'm relieved for you, too.

    Take care, Funky, and let us know how you are doing. Stay in touch.

  • Realist
    Realist

    hello funky,

    sounds almost exactly like my story

    i hope you can really stay friends...i tried that with my gilr too but it didn't work. we both couldn't get over the relationship.

    i still hope sometimes that she will get out eventually...but its a dream...

    wish you the best!

    Realist!

  • SPAZnik
    SPAZnik
    I really wish things could have been different (eg if he wasn't a JW) but he is and I suppose that's in a way what makes him him.

    That's very astute of you.

    It shows a lot of love and wisdom to let a person be who they are.
    I too would suggest moving forward with the lessons your pain has taught you.

    SPAZ

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